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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not watch the upsetting footage on Sports Relief?

48 replies

PurpleRomanesco · 23/03/2012 21:16

I feel somewhat horrible about turning it off but I am really affected by it. I do the same with adverts.

Me and DP give to charity and would do more if we could.

AIBU? Or am I being selfish?

OP posts:
ragged · 23/03/2012 21:17

yanbu, you'll be no good to anyone if you're that upset. That's how I am, too, it's to do with the reprogramming of the brain by pregnancy & motherhood. Empathy overload, I guess.

Sparklingbrook · 23/03/2012 21:19

YANBU. I am watching with DS2 (9) because it's important for him to see it though IMO.

landofsoapandglory · 23/03/2012 21:22

YANBU.

I turned it off the moment David Beckham came on asking me to dig deep and give! Maybe if the people, like him, who earn more in a year than most earn in a life time, gave a week's wages they would not have to keep asking Joe Public.

DH and I do give to charity, and we will continue to give to the charities that we choose to give to.

PleaseLeaveVictor · 23/03/2012 21:23

Im not watching it, things like this give me nightmares Blush

NoWayNoHow · 23/03/2012 21:23

YANBU if you can't bear to look at it, but I feel it's massively important for me personally to watch what other parents are going through so I can put my privileged, entitled and, ultimately, incredibly blessed life into perspective. So I can stop bitching and moaning about the budget, about how hard DH works, about how difficult DS is being, and just appreciate that he's even here at all, and then give whatever extra one off payment I can afford so that even one more mother doesn't have to go through what I've seen some go through tonight.

Sparklingbrook · 23/03/2012 21:24

It's costing so much money for us to host the Olympics isn't it? Just saying.

NoWayNoHow · 23/03/2012 21:26

landofsoapandglory - how do you know David Beckham DOESN'T give loads to charity?

NoWayNoHow · 23/03/2012 21:29

And actually, come to think of it (and I know I'm going to get shat on for this, but I don't care) - so crapping what if other people do/don't give, and so crapping what if the Olympics cost X amount of money! Does that mean that on principle people won't donate what they can because other people spend other money on other stuff? What is the life cost of sticking to a principle like that?

What a shocking outlook on life when just a few quid can make a difference.

Original poster
PurpleRomanesco · 23/03/2012 21:29

See that's how I feel NoWay but I know what's happening... I know how lucky I am but the last year there was footage of a grandmother crying hysterically because her grandson had died after she walked miles to get him seen by a doctor. I just couldn't cope with watching it, It stays with me to this day.

It's not productive for me as there is very little other than giving money I can do to help.

OP posts:
Hassled · 23/03/2012 21:31

I give to several charities every month, but I still make myself watch this stuff. It's good for me - puts things in perspective. There's a fucking handbag I want to buy but can't really afford, but might buy anyway - wtf am I on? These people can't afford a thing and I'm stressing over a handbag? I think it is so easy to end up with a warped view of what constitutes a problem, and that's why they're worth watching.

SquidgyBiscuits · 23/03/2012 21:32

Honestly, I find it upsetting to watch.

Then I stop and try and understand how upsetting it must be for the people living it day in day out, and it puts my moment of upset into a bit of context really.

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2012 21:35

YANBU, if I had recorded it I would have fast forwarded the really sad bits.

But I was watching it with my 9yr old DS and I did learn something that I'd never really thought about.

They were talking about needing money to teach little children to swim...because of all the floods and monsoons. Apparently, drowning is the biggest cause of infant death in Bangladesh.

I have no idea why it struck me...probably because it's not something you really think about is it?

My DS said he felt guilty moaning about having to go swimming with the school every Wednesday when those kids need to learn to swim to survive.

Sparklingbrook · 23/03/2012 21:38

Benidorm's Got Talent? Pass me the remote now. Sad

Perriwinkle · 23/03/2012 21:38

I have explained to my DS that it is the world we live in that is dictated by market forces, rather than morality, that is unfair.

Unfortunately, the sad fact is that no matter how much money the likes of us throw at these telethons, little will change in the grand scheme of things.

landofsoapandglory · 23/03/2012 21:38

NoWay I don't know that he doesn't, but that doesn't alter the fact that I do not like being asked by mega rich stars to give to these causes.

DH and I very carefully chose the charities we gave to, because we knew we couldn't give to every single one of them.

I do find watching the footage on these programmes really, really upsetting. I am aware of how shit these peoples' lives are, I don't need to watch the footage to be reminded of it!

ifancyashandy · 23/03/2012 21:39

See, I'm torn. You're supposed to find it upsetting and the films are supposed to move you to donate.

But if you already donate, then clearly YANBU.

But many people (I assume) only donate once a year (for example) when persuaded to by programmes such as Sports / Comic Relief.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 23/03/2012 21:39

YABU.

Original poster
PurpleRomanesco · 23/03/2012 21:40

I watched that one Worra! I thought it was a wonderfully informative piece, My heart broke for that mother. The end was amazing watching that little boy learn how to swim.

You son sounds lovely. Very empathetic for his age. :)

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleRomanesco · 23/03/2012 21:41

I do donate! I just cannot watch children dying.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/03/2012 21:41

But being 'mega rich' is a by product of being mega famous.

Obviously the more famous they are, the more publicity these events attract.

There's no point in putting Johnny no-one from down the road on TV and telling him to ask people for money.

LumpyLatimer · 23/03/2012 21:42

Hmmmmm - YABU.

My sister is a very nice kind woman but whenever ads for Save the Children (or whatever) come on, she makes a very great show about how upset SHE is. She cries, and clasps her babies to her, etc. etc.

And what should be a sombre challenging moment to think about the desperate state of others becomes all about HER, and how sensitive she is and how much she loves her babies.

I think that's a bit unsavoury tbh.

2shoes · 23/03/2012 21:42

yabu
but I get your point.
one minute there are terrible pictures of suffering and next some daft bint shouting her head of of on stage.
all to mixed up imo

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2012 21:43

It was certainly an eye opener Purple...I was torn between wanting to turn it over and wanting to learn a bit more Sad

On a lighter note, did anyone see the Frank Lampard/Christine Bleakley sketch with the kids from that TV show I can't think of?

I thought it was hilarious Grin

NoWayNoHow · 23/03/2012 21:44

I just think there's a difference between regular outgoing charitable giving which comes out of your monthly budget, and finding the little bit extra once or twice a year, even if it's a fiver. After all, according to that last segment where 3 children died in one hour that's all the vaccine costs.

EdithWeston · 23/03/2012 21:44

It is a reminder - one that I think that we all need - that people in the UK are rich. Even the poorest of us are the top 5% or so in global terms.