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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really upset to read on MN

719 replies

shootingstarz · 23/03/2012 08:47

That parents are going without food because they can?t afford to feed their kids.

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 23/03/2012 11:09

Hang on a minute! She didn't buy cigarettes! She bought hand-rolling tobacco. It's cheaper, and you can re-use the tobacco from the butts.

yes. Really. Benefits gave a dead plush lifestyle, eh?

springchickennugget · 23/03/2012 11:09

I do believe this happens actually. But not necessarily amoung women who are on MN.

These are women who are intelligent enough to engage in an internet forum like MN in order to look for help with food costs etc. It therefore does shock me that if they are able and motivated to do that then (families with disabled members aside) why aren't they able to dream up a little bit more of a revenue stream.

Debt could have a lot to do with it though.

MyDogShitsShoes · 23/03/2012 11:10

kidz if you can't be bothered reading a thread don't post on it, that way you'll avoid the risk of sounding ignorant.

thefurryone i'm going back next month if they will let me. Still trying to get them to change my hours.

stranded we really should stop indulging them. It's so bloody frustrating but sadly these attitudes will never change.

bocoid · 23/03/2012 11:10

I think that this government are doing really well at demonising the poor, backed up by the right wing media. All the rhetoric about languishing on benefits ect.

A friend who works at a women's refuge was saying that the gov have now decided that the women can survive on £5 day! How is that possible? The 'choices' they have made have been to escape violence.

HugADalek · 23/03/2012 11:11

I got into debt due to illness btw, I was ill and failed the checklist for the benefit by one point, thus had to appeal (the support worker who attended the medical with me was aghast that I hadn't been awarded at least seven more points based on what I said at the time).

Whilst having no money coming in to support me and my children, I was frantically job searching and living off of an overdraft and a credit card. I got a job, and found that I ended up in more debt because I had to move DS to a childminder as the nursery didn't have suitable cover for the job, thus had four weeks fees to pay to the nursery notice, and four weeks of childminder to pay up front. Of course I didn't keep the job very long as I wasn't technically fit to work, so ended up really ill, and haven't worked since, so all that debt I ran up trying to survive whilst appealing, then to get into work, it's sitting there and was accruing more debt because I couldn't get the bank to stop the interest, despite getting the CAB to communicate with them (turned a £700 overdraft into £1200 due to charges because I couldn't cover the interest in my payments). This was all fine until I moved (out of a three storey, wheelchair and limited mobility unfriendly house, next door to a drug dealer) into a house in a nicer area which is more illness friendly (and much better for my children), as I am now private rather than council and have to top up housing benefit, and also due to the increasing costs of everything.

I'm not frivolous at all, if I got a takeaway in the past it was due to being unfit to cook and wanting to feed my children. It happens very rarely now, simply because I can't afford it and they get microwave stuff instead when I am too ill. I can't drink at all, it causes extreme pain and is bad for me due to my kidney issues and also all the medication I am on. I stopped smoking before I fell ill when I found out I was pregnant. I buy only very basic clothing when my stuff wears out, I have two pairs of shoes and they both have holes in the toes (been told by podiatrist to only wear my running trainers now) as I wear my shoes through on the right foot due to pelvic/hip/knee/ankle arthritis and gait issues. I will wear those shoes until they are beyond repair before I get new ones. The only thing I truly buy that I shouldn't is diet coke and perhaps chocolate and sweeties, but I found it's cheaper to have made up sweetie bags at home for the kids, as going to the shop is much more expensive to get them a treat. All my furniture is second hand, my TV is the third I've had, a big old dinosaur that was kindly gifted so the kids could watch telly. Anything nice in this house has been gifted to us, by my mum usually.

I hate it, but I make do and try to give my children everything they need and keep cheerful. Having things isn't as important to me as giving them opportunities, so I focus on keeping them bright, interested and happy so that they can go to school and get out of the poverty trap I am in.

BookFairy · 23/03/2012 11:11

Apologies if similar links have already been posted.

www.barnardos.org.uk/what_we_do/our_projects/child_poverty.htm

www.jrf.org.uk/work/workarea/child-poverty

www.endchildpoverty.org.uk/why-end-child-poverty/key-facts

According to End Child Poverty the UK has 'one of the worst rates of child poverty in the industrialised world'.

Google Food Banks UK and and you will be inundated with over 5 million results, including:

www.trusselltrust.org/foodbank-projects

MyDogShitsShoes · 23/03/2012 11:13

spring my first ever Biscuit

IAmBooyhoo · 23/03/2012 11:15

"These are women who are intelligent enough to engage in an internet forum like MN in order to look for help with food costs etc. It therefore does shock me that if they are able and motivated to do that then (families with disabled members aside) why aren't they able to dream up a little bit more of a revenue stream. "

what the actual fuck?

where is this help with food costs that people haven't already exhausted? what are these revenue streams? are there people clamouring to give money to intelligent but poor women?

curtainrail · 23/03/2012 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thekidsrule · 23/03/2012 11:16

dog,i have read and re read, you post so much!!!!!!!!

so your telling me you have less money coming in than if you were on IS.your figures dont add up

get rid of the car,i cant afford to drive and dont get any maintanance tough choices but thats what you do when you dont have the money

im bowing out as you are coming across very defensive and angry and really if you cant give a straight answer regarding your finances then i have my answer

NameInChalk · 23/03/2012 11:18

Why the fuck should she give you a straight answer WRT to her finances?

How unbelievably RUDE some people are.

BookFairy · 23/03/2012 11:18

Just want to point out that internet can be accessed for free in local libraries.

VictoriaWould · 23/03/2012 11:19

Spring
So you're saying intelligent women can never live in poverty? Hmm

MyDogShitsShoes · 23/03/2012 11:19

hugadalek what a horrible horrible story.

If it makes just one person think "there but for the grace of God" I for one will be very thankful.

You're children have a wonderful mother.

IAmBooyhoo · 23/03/2012 11:20

who wouldn't be defensive and angry at having to itemise their exact spending on an internet forum to satisy a stranger's opinion that she's being frivoulous with her money jsut because YOU can't imagine being so skint?

WibblyBibble · 23/03/2012 11:21

Whatme et al, you might not believe it, but I do. I had an unexpected extra rent bill this week, had to pay off £30 to my housing association. As a result I had £15 to spend on food for me and dd2 for the week (dd1 at dads). Luckily I had lentils in cupboard and fish fingers in freezer, but if there had been even one crisis e.g. the other week I had to take dd2 to hospital in a taxi because she decided to jump off the sofa and knocked her head, and it wasn't bad enough to justify an ambulance but NHS24 said go to A&E, I would literally have had nothing to spend on food. It's ignorant to say 'oh but you have internet'- yes, that is on a 2 year contract that I can't just not pay because it's a bad week, and I got it when I had more money coming in but it would cost me the same to break the contract. If I was less of a smelly hippy and didn't keep lentils in the house, I would have gone without food for dd2 to eat, and she would have had frozen peas and fish fingers all week. It happens in the UK. The income provided by low part-time wages or by benefits to single parents with small families is far below the minimum income required to survive long-term as calculated by the Rowntree trust.

thekidsrule · 23/03/2012 11:22

name,so we have to take on face value what dog writes about outgoings but dare to ask a ??? and thats wrong

IS is the least money you can live on so the figures dont add up simple

AmberLeaf · 23/03/2012 11:23

Springchickennuggets, you just cant magic up money you know.

more food vouchers would be wonderful for me BECAUSE you can't spend them on gas/electric bills. It would mean I had no choice but to live on good food, not scrimp on fruit and veg to pay the bills

That may work for you if you pay by bill with a normal meter, if you have a pre payment metre then its literally a case of choosing between food and heat/hot water/light.

I have skipped meals, I have eaten nothing but porridge too so that my children got the 'proper' food.

It happens, those that dont believe it are very lucky to have never experienced it.

When it happened to me it was because I simply didnt have enough money coming in to cover everything. you can only juggle payments for so long sometimes it would catch up and you would be lacking somewhere.

thekidsrule · 23/03/2012 11:24

im out,

NameInChalk · 23/03/2012 11:26

Unfortunately, thekidsrule, the answer is Yes. Yes, you are supposed to take posts on face value.

Badgering somebody about their finances is unbelievably rude and tacky.

bronze · 23/03/2012 11:27

It's all very shit

just want to say this but am rubbish at saying what I mean. Basically I don't think it's peoples fault they are in this position and like others I want to help in some way but being wher eI am, not driving and not having excess funds I'm ltd so i try and find suggestions to help but don't want to make people feel crap for it
So want to point people at this site www.landshare.net/ as maybe a way to help a few people ease the pursestrings that they may not have come across. Now I know tools cost money as do seeds but I also know that lots of people are happy to do seedswaps so if anyone needs seeds just shout, people are generous, they have been to me in the past. Also happy to buy someone who finds a landshare and wants to start a basic set like mine, you can get them cheap from tesco (I did and theyre still going strong)
As Demot O'leary said last night, hand up not hand out.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 23/03/2012 11:27

kidsrule
"your figures dont add up"
says the poster who just told us Income Support was £135 a week.

She's on SMP and will need the car to go back to work.

MyDogShitsShoes · 23/03/2012 11:27

You're damn right i'm angry and defensive!

I have explained about my car and explained about my income.

You somehow presume to know how much my rent and utility bills are.

sunshineandbooks · 23/03/2012 11:28

Has anyone entertained the idea that food vouchers are not much good if you can't afford the electricity to cook the ingredients?

Also, internet may be free at local libraries, but it's a big assumption that people have a local library. Some people in my district have to travel 8 miles for one, which is about £4 on the bus. When you can get broadband for £10 per month...

amillionyears · 23/03/2012 11:35

It seems to be , having tried to read all of this, that Aldi and Lidl should accept food vouchers.
Also, there are genuine people who fall between the benefits cracks.If they do buy a magazine and a lottery ticket to help their mental health, who can blame them? They have to keep themselves going in these difficult circumstances.