To be really upset to read on MN

[shootingstarz]

That parents are going without food because they can?t afford to feed their kids.

hugadalek sorry didnt mean to offend you in anyway about the justification comment ,

I can also say that Mumsnet has been an amazing place, I've been doing a reading review thing with them that means my son has had in excess of £50 worth of books to read, plus I won £50 just a week before Christmas to spend at John Lewis. I've trialled breakfast cereal which might seem like nothing, but it was a week of breakfasts for my kids. I've been able to access great advice and support here too.

my sister put £10 on her PAYG mobile a month, she needs the phone as she hasn't got a landline so if she need to phone NHS direct or the doctors she has a phone to do it. With Vodaphone with this she get 100 text messages and internet use.

Not offended in the slightest MrsJay just didn't want people to think I was feeling like I had to in any way explain things, I don't give a fig usually because I know I don't do anything I shouldn't do, but sometimes I do like challenge some of the ignorance that there is (including myself) as to the sorts of situations people are in and how they get there.

I'm really not helping I know, I really apologise for allowing myself to be wound up. So many people are phrasing the argument so much more eloquently than I am!

It's just one face-palm moment after another and exactly the reason I have never posted on a benefit thread before.

Genuine thanks to everyone who has.shown empathy and who accepts the fact that everyone's situation is.different.

Yes there are many who don't use their money wisely of course there are. BUT we're not all poor because we're stupid!

I'm going.for a long lie down in a dark room. (guess i'll never get an answer to the car question

dont get me going on payday loan companies , total parasites i hate them

The other thing is, it comes across as if depression or tiredness are things you're only allowed to have if you are well off. It takes a lot of effort to cook cheap, balanced meals and even more so if you are already feeling weighed down by depression, and that is going to affect how you eat.

There's a point that sticks in my mind (so forgive the fact it's from Caitlin Moran), that Moran makes saying that food is a pretty cheap way to comfort yourself, much cheaper than drugs, and over-eating through stress is what you do if you need to be able to be fit to work (ie., you can't be off your face), but your life is fairly miserable. She talks about her family sitting around eating big hunks of cheese as a treat. I think you do get to a point where your body has learned to crave cheap fats and carbs as a comforter. It's all very well to say what you need right then is to get active, eat healthily, etc., but your body and your mental state start to work against you.

What a depressing thread. For those of you struggling right now, I hope things get better soon.
For those of you judging and not believing these stories of poverty, wake up. Poverty is horrible and once you are caught in the cycle, it is very difficult to get out.

Doomcats, that applies to all of us, regardless of income. We all know we should eat a handful of sunflower seeds to boost our energy, but that doesn't stop us wanting/ having a mars bar and a coffee instead.

I'm all for encouraging healthy eating, but nobody should be forced to eat approved foodstuffs. Healthy food should be cheap and available, but there should always be choice.

This film is well worth watching if you'd like a glimpse of where the UK is rapidly heading.

It shows how in the US, through schemes similar to 'workfare' and the like, parents on low incomes are being given no option but to travel large distances to work for big companies, on well below a living wage which the Government then has to top up with food stamps. All in order to maximise profits for private companies. For statistics purposes, these people are classed as 'employed' and so do not show up in unemployment figures.

Not directly addressing the OP admittedly, but I couldn't help but think of this after reading this thread. I have a feeling this is where current 'reorganisation' will eventually lead us.

Mumsnet is an amazing place because of strong insightful women like you hugadalek

morris, sorry, but that is not true. Being unemployed is a really big risk factor for depression.

But my point was, how come when we're talking about how people budget for food, there seems to be this judgmental attitude that boils down to 'well, poor people should really do it perfectly, how dare they ever mis-manage money'. Now I agree it is ideal that everyone should know how to manage their money, but there are many reasons beyond simply knowing what to do and bothering to do it, that explain why some people find this hard. I mentioned poor education before, I'm mentioning depression here. These things make it much harder to measure up to the ideal of perfect budgeting/perfect meal planning.

BoffinMum your diet is fab!! Seriously, will be using for our shop on payday, we're 2 and a baby so can eke it out longer. Lifesaver!

StrandedBear have you tried applying for your student loan as an independent student? I started university when I was 24 so my parents income should have been taken into account but because I had DD I could prove to them that I wasn't dependent on my patents anymore. I got the full student loan and most of my childcare paid for. If you haven't lived with your parents for a few years you would also be an independent student.

Sorry if this has already been said but I haven't got time to read the whole thread yet.

I agree doomcat. I was saying that it isn't just poor people who are tempted by unhealthy foods, its all of us.

There are posters here who will be offended by your point that people don't always budget wisely, they might interpret that as meaning the poor are stupid and lazy.

We can't have it both ways on this thread. I've been flamed for saying that smoking etc is more prevalent among those on lower incomes.

Are we saying that sometimes people can't afford to eat for very understandable reasons to do with choices and budgeting, or are we saying sometimes people can't afford to eat at all and we must not talk about choices and budgeting as that is offensive?

DP works full time for minimum wage, I'm on SMP and get CB and CTC. This is not a lot of money. This month our car needs taxed and MOT'd (it's a piece of shit and guaranteed to fail). DP needs to drive to work, there is no public transport and noone to give him a lift, we have no savings. We might not eat, we might get into debt. If anything else happened < I'm looking at you, washing machine >, we definately wouldn't eat. Shit happens, as long as the baby is fed we're okay.

i have done that, still do somtimes.

it shouldnt happe but still, worse is happening elsewhere

I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else.

I think it is ridiculous to suggest that depression makes you stupid or lazy and I really hope my post did not come across that way.

YANBU OP.

I lived as a child under Thatcher the witch

Mum was a single parent and struggled to find work - I remember she had job after job but nothing long term. Luckily she was good at getting food (rice, cheap meat etc) but it was a struggle.

Now I'm doing well in life. Me and my DH are high earners and we life in a bubble. If I didnt have the upbringing I did, I'd believe the shit stories spouted by the daily mail et al.

I'm going to start donating to food banks and charities etc.

I'm bloody grateful that labour came into power when they did because it meant things improved. I'm scared for poor children growing up today.

Oh, and being depressed is not a 'choice', either.

There have been times that we have gone without to make sure the kids ate, and for a time DH and I lived on weetabix and beans on toast. DH does not earn much and the cost of living was just to much, we do not drink, smoke or gamble, it was all just day to day bills heat, light, and so on, so yes I can believe it

Can I just add that I don't consider myself to be living in poverty, poor yes, poverty no. There are many many people far worse off than I am.

Normally ds and I get along fine, i don't have luxuries but am fortunate that I am well practised at working to a budget.

This month will just be a lot tighter than usual but the bill was expected.

We will not go hungry. I have a well stocked freezer (i'm the queen of the whoops counter!) And plenty of dried good such as rice, pasta and lentals. Also frozen veg etc.

It will take a while to build the cupboards back up again though so if any unexpected expenses occur it will be a different matter!

it is truly shocking that parents must eat bread and butter to enable children to eat. Yet I am a bit puzzled that many of those having to make sacrifices like this are able to explain their problems here via their computers.

Do you think they should take their computers to Cash Converters, then? I mean, in the event we struck poverty, I suppose we could do that, but I'd have to get a taxi there with my desk-top.

And I'd make a significant loss on the computer, selling it to a pawnshop. I would then be without the computer, which would give me financial opportunities in the long-term, and a tiny amount of money.