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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DD's class should have got their golden time on Friday?

71 replies

faintpinkline · 19/03/2012 19:05

Just wanted to run this by AIBU to get a robust opinion as not sure whether to talk to DD's teacher about this.

In short she's really upset because the whole class had their golden time taken on Friday afternoon not because they'd misbehaved but because they'd had a school trip earlier in the week. They were not told that golden time was being cancelled until after lunch on Friday afternoon.

DD is now asking why she should bother to "behave really really well" if they can just take their gold time away even though they've been good. I'm inclined to agree with her. IMHO opinion five and six year olds need clear boundaries but also if a reward or indeed a punishment is stated in advance it should be carried through.

So mumsnet jury AIBU?

OP posts:
vj32 · 19/03/2012 19:08

Presumably you get golden time if you have done all your work, and because of the trip the class hadn't finished what they needed to do that week?

belindarose · 19/03/2012 19:08

I think children, and parents, also need to know that things have to change in school sometimes, for all manner of reasons, and they have to learn to live with it. It would be useful if a similar message were reinforced at home.

Pandemoniaa · 19/03/2012 19:08

This "golden time" stuff is all new to me but certainly it does seem unfair to withdraw it so randomly and not on any expected basis. With children this age it would have been more sensible to tell the class, rather earlier in the week, that the school trip was in place of golden time and that they wouldn't have both. But if golden time is purely a reward for good behaviour it shouldn't really be removed for anything other than bad behaviour should it?

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 19/03/2012 19:09

I have no idea what golden time is, but if it's something that they all look forward to and get as a result of behaving well then it would seem to be rather unfair not to have it if they've kept their side of the deal.

TheMonster · 19/03/2012 19:11

I'm with vj32. They still need to do all their work for the week.

Floggingmolly · 19/03/2012 19:14

I bet it does seem unfair to your dd and her classmates, but it is purely at the teachers discretion and she can change it if she wants. I would strongly advise against speaking to the teacher, she'll think you're over involved at best, interfering at worst. Save it for something important.

exoticfruits · 19/03/2012 19:15

You have to be flexible! Obviously if they were out for the day they have to concertina everything into a shorter time. I would just explain to your DD. A parent's job is to help their DC cope with disappointment.
It might have helped if they were told at the beginning of the week-but no one is perfect. Also she should be behaving well anyway-not just for a reward!

exoticfruits · 19/03/2012 19:16

I agree-save fights for something important.

LoopyLoopsIsTentativelyBack · 19/03/2012 19:16

I'm sure t doesn't really matter, does it?

Iggly · 19/03/2012 19:18

You could casually ask the teacher about golden time and why cancelled?

Greeata · 19/03/2012 19:18

I can see how this would be upsetting to a five year old, but i can't for the life of me understand why you would want to speak to the teacher about it.

Pandemoniaa · 19/03/2012 19:18

Why do they get this golden time? Is it for generally good behaviour or for getting the week's work done? Does your dd understand why too, OP?

grobagsforever · 19/03/2012 19:18

What on earth is golden time?

Pandemoniaa · 19/03/2012 19:20

Whatever the reasons, please don't talk to your dd's teacher about it. You'll come across as bonkers.

jinsei · 19/03/2012 19:20

It's no big deal - I think you should let it go.

jamdonut · 19/03/2012 19:20

I concur with vj32 and Bodyof Eeyore. Obviously they needed to catch up on work, due to the trip, (which was a nice thing for them to have done in the week), and therefore golden time was not necessary. If it's like our school, the teachers have to make sure there is a certain amount of writing and maths in their books each week. It gets checked up on.

WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill · 19/03/2012 19:23

Im sorry but 'golden time' sounds a bit wrong for kiddies...

OriginalJamie · 19/03/2012 19:26

I can see why she got a bit upset about it, especially since they weren't told til it was due

BUT - I agree with everyone else. She will have to learn to be flexible. Explain that the trip was a fun outing and the removal of golden time is not a punishment, it is so they can get all their work done

OriginalJamie · 19/03/2012 19:28

At our school Golden Time was normally given whatever. Individual children could lose minutes from golden time for bad behaviour. But the school no longer holds Golden Time

Molehillmountain · 19/03/2012 19:31

I would empathise with your daughter but remain neutral on any judgement of the situation-you don't want dd going and saying "my mummy thinks...". And as the others say, I would not go and talk to the teacher about this one off. As a teacher, I don't think it's ideal as if this happens regularly it will devalue golden time as a behaviour management strategy. But I equally think the whole thing is at the schools discretion.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 19/03/2012 19:41

What is golden time?

Original poster
faintpinkline · 19/03/2012 19:49

Thank you for all the answers. You're right I'll probably look bonkers if I talk to the teacher about this (though chances are she thinks I am already Grin )

What I said to dd was that it was great they got the trip and sometimes if you get one thing it means there may not be time for another She got a cuddle and told not to worry about it as I was sure it would be back next week.

I think the reason she was so upset was that it was dp's birthday on Sunday and she had planned to make his card during golden time so made an extra special effort not to lose time that week - she did it on Saturday so it was OK.

OP posts:
Original poster
faintpinkline · 19/03/2012 19:51

Noone - its free play time on Friday afternoon. The children start with 30 minutes at the start of the week and can lose time for bad behaviour. In DD's school they get warned and then if the behaviour continues they lose a minute. It works differently in different schools I think

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/03/2012 19:52

what the bloody hell is "golden time"??

WetAugust · 19/03/2012 20:03

WTF is 'golden time'?
and
WTF are you, a grown-up, using such a dopey term?