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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think DD's class should have got their golden time on Friday?

71 replies

faintpinkline · 19/03/2012 19:05

Just wanted to run this by AIBU to get a robust opinion as not sure whether to talk to DD's teacher about this.

In short she's really upset because the whole class had their golden time taken on Friday afternoon not because they'd misbehaved but because they'd had a school trip earlier in the week. They were not told that golden time was being cancelled until after lunch on Friday afternoon.

DD is now asking why she should bother to "behave really really well" if they can just take their gold time away even though they've been good. I'm inclined to agree with her. IMHO opinion five and six year olds need clear boundaries but also if a reward or indeed a punishment is stated in advance it should be carried through.

So mumsnet jury AIBU?

OP posts:

MadameChinLegs · 19/03/2012 20:09

It is a shame, I think the teachers could have said at the start of the week that they wouldn't be doing Golden Time that week, they would have a lovely trip out instead as an extra special treat.

Missed opportunity, on their part, I think.

littleducks · 19/03/2012 20:09

Dd gets choosing time, (less wanky name but same principal) and I know she would be upset if that happened, it's the highlight of her school week, especially after 'learning through play' all the time in reception.

I would casually mention it if ever an occasion arose where it wouldn't seem bonkers but agree this time you probably have to let it fo

BarbarianMum · 19/03/2012 20:10

I can see why your dd is upset but mine always get given the message that good behaviour is expected and is its own reward. Yes golden time/stickers/certificates/stars are nice but they are expected to behave regardless. I wouldn't speak to a teacher about it.

smilesy · 19/03/2012 20:11

WetAugust as has already been said on this thread, golden time is an accepted term used in many primary schools for reward time for good behaviour. I find your tone offensive to both the op and schools that use it!

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 19/03/2012 20:11

I would question the need for such a thing as Golden Time, not that it was lost on one occasion!

In year one they follow the EYFS which is all learning through play - they're not exactly sat behind their desks from 9 - 3 every day as it is!!

WetAugust · 19/03/2012 20:46

This is AIBU - the soft and fluffy golden time stuff is elsewhere smilesy.

Floggingmolly · 19/03/2012 20:54

WetAugust op was asking an AIBU question that just happened to relate to her child's school's use of golden time. The concept of golden time itself, offensive as it evidently appears to you, was not in fact called into question.

Hulababy · 19/03/2012 20:58

Golden time: www.circle-time.co.uk/site/questions_answers/golden_time

Not the op just using what you term dopey, but part of an accepted, recognised and well used behaviour management system, in place in many primary schools throughout England. There are books and paper written on it, and many schools use it.

WetAugust · 19/03/2012 20:59

Oh yes it was. It was the thing that her was complaining that her was being denied. Therefore very relevant.

And I still think it's a crap term like most of the edu-speak that the dimwits dream up - 'floor time' 'unstructure time'

In my day it was play time.

I find 'Golden Time' a very offensive term.

startail · 19/03/2012 21:02

YANBU
Either the trip was educational and they have done their learning for the week and they should get their golden time.
Or the trip wasn't educational and they shouldn't have been told the trip was their reward for being good.

Hulababy · 19/03/2012 21:02

Golden time is not play time.

It is part of a structured behaviour management system in place in many primary schools. The terminology is meant to be child friendly, as it is used with children from 4 years, as are many educational terms.

startail · 19/03/2012 21:03

Should have, stupid ipod

WetAugust · 19/03/2012 21:04

Read the link

It just mad me angrier

People get paid to think up bollocks such as this:

Quality Circle Time (QCT) is a democratic and creative approach used to support teachers and other professionals in managing a range of issues that affect the whole learning community

Oh pleeease!

Hulababy · 19/03/2012 21:07

Well, it seems to work whether you like the terms or not.

Original poster

faintpinkline · 19/03/2012 21:22

Well personally I am not certain about it as a behavioural management tool but its what the school have chosen to use so I will back them up in doing so. I am not sure why its seen as an offensive term by WetAugust but she's as entitled to her opinion as anyone else.

IwishIwasmoreorganised - at DD's school year 1 follow the national curriculum Key stage 1, I think most schools do after reception.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 19/03/2012 22:07

I would love to see some of you in charge of a class! How can 'Golden Time' be 'an offensive term'? How can you dismiss Jenny Mosely if you haven't spent time studying her books?

The DCs generally have some free time, to do what they like-if there is free time to be had. It was a 4 day week, there was no free time. I think OP could just help her DC see this.

catsareevil · 19/03/2012 22:21

Can someone explain why 'golden time' is felt to be offensive?

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 19/03/2012 22:26

We're in Wales. It must be different here .

exoticfruits · 19/03/2012 22:31

They just haven't a clue, catsaeevil, goodness only know what they are reading into it.

andired · 19/03/2012 22:46

Op I really don't think YABU. As startail stated, either the trip was the education or it shouldn't have been carried out during school time.
I would have a word with the class teacher even though you may just get 'It was the head's decision' as a response. Nobody gets everything right all the time and if parents don't question and query actions they feel are unreasonable or unwarranted then how will any teacher/head know they have to re-evaluate their actions in future?
Golden Time is precious to young children because it's made that way by the actions of the teacher in the classroom, that in itself is enough of a reason to query this decision. I don't particularly agree with it - there seems to be way too much to cover in a week to write off any time for behaviour that should be expected and managed in general daily activities.
But it's a bit of a kick in the teeth to the children in the class who do behave well or struggle with conforming to normal standards to have this privilege removed without notice.

Morloth · 19/03/2012 23:01

Wow, people really overthink stuff.

When DS comes home with a bit of a whinge, I give him a little sympathy and then say 'Oh well, no biggy, you will probably get golden time next week'.

exoticfruits · 20/03/2012 08:08

Thank goodness for a sensible parent Morloth!
I have never read so much rubbish about 'kicks in the teeth' etc. Children will get disappointments-if they go through childhood without any how on earth are they going to cope with the huge ones that will come their way as an adult? Parents are really doing them no favours. As a teacher I would be inclined to say, to andired and similar, 'good god-that is it-no more golden time-it's not worth the hassle and sense of entitlement'.
It is a simple wind down at the end of the week. They had a whole day out. It makes you question all the work put into trips if parents and DCs then whinge because the teacher changes the timetable slightly to catch up.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 20/03/2012 08:17

Y1 does follow the NC, reception are EYFS.

I think unless you can know exactly how the teacher spoke to the children about their loss of golden time, you can't know if anything was handled badly.

The children got a treat being on the trip. Yes it's supposed to be educational, but that doesn't mean it can't be an enjoyable treat too. Teachers have a lot to fit into the time that they have with children, would you really prefer that they missed out on literacy or numeracy time just so they don't miss golden time?

I think you need to point out to your dd the other benefits that come along with behaving well. Presumably she behaves well for reasons other than wanting to do golden time, and it might help her to have those talked through.

exoticfruits · 20/03/2012 08:19

I would be having a stiff talk about not just behaving well to get golden time!!

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 20/03/2012 13:35

OP - what did you decide to do?

BTW - In Wales our children follow the "Foundation Phase" curriculum from age 5 -7. See here.

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