to think DD's class should have got their golden time on Friday?

[faintpinkline]

Just wanted to run this by AIBU to get a robust opinion as not sure whether to talk to DD's teacher about this.

In short she's really upset because the whole class had their golden time taken on Friday afternoon not because they'd misbehaved but because they'd had a school trip earlier in the week. They were not told that golden time was being cancelled until after lunch on Friday afternoon.

DD is now asking why she should bother to "behave really really well" if they can just take their gold time away even though they've been good. I'm inclined to agree with her. IMHO opinion five and six year olds need clear boundaries but also if a reward or indeed a punishment is stated in advance it should be carried through.

So mumsnet jury AIBU?

YABU and way too involved.
You tell your DD that she must behave well because it is the right thing to do, bot because she wants to get rewarded for it

I absolutely hate the whole system of rewards for perfectly normal behaviour at my children's school. This is the result, children who start to expect that if you work well/eat nicely/don't hit others you will get some external reward (sticker, Golden Time, certificate, house points). Then they start getting upset as clearly with such a complex system of rewards, sometimes things happen that seem 'unfair' (e.g. little Johnny got a HP for good work, I didn't, we had a trip so can't have Golden Time).

I literally want to scream, some days my children return festooned in stickers.

I also back the school and would only dispute something in private with them, and certainly not this.

Shrug you shoulders, say 'I can see it's a bit disappointing, but it's no big deal' and carry on. Your child will experience many 'unfair' things in school and it's best to make her resiliant from the off.

Sounds like a load of bollocks to me. A reward for not playing up?

Behaving is what what you are supposed to do - it is the absolute bare minimum and shouldn't be rewarded with a glorified extended playtime.

Who thinks these ridiculous names up?

Golden time sounds like a service offered by a more broadminded bordello involving wee. Quality circle time also sounds like a euphemism for the soggy biscuit game beloved of rugby teams.

It all goes to show, from the last 2 posts, that people have no understanding of either golden time or circle time-and would be best just doing as Morloth did earlier in the thread.

Yes they should have had their Golden Time most definitely IMO

I know exactly what it is - both of my parents are primary school teachers of nearly 40 years standing.

They also share my view that it is a load of cobblers dreamt up at great expense by a bunch of snakeoil salesmen, doesn't improve behaviour and only serves to distract from the business of teaching.

Quick question OP- so are you happy that your dc doesn't see the point of behaving in class if there is no golden time?
Surely they have to follow the rules regardless?

Pick your battles wisely with teachers

If that is the case ComposHat they ought to 'pick their battles wisely' and that isn't one of them.

I also know what Golden Time is with two primary teachers in the family. I don't agree with the complex reward system implemented at my children's primary school, which does not include Circle Time, but does include Golden Time (a positive reward) which you can lose for bad behaviour.

I personally don't think missing Golden Time is worth bothering a teacher about, and no amount of explaining carefully and slowly to me what Golden Time is when I know already is going to change that.

If you feel strongly about reward systems it might be worth discussing in school-missing it on this occasion isn't worth it. Pick your battles.

I have no issue with the idea of Golden Time. DS loves it, they get to do show and tell.

The class teacher should of told them earlier than Friday lunchtime though.

I wouldnt make an issue of it, your DD will have forgot all about it ina few weeks.

I think Golden Time is a must and shouldn't be restricted to Friday afternoons if they have behaved, but that's whole different thread!!!

Can be used as a tool for classroom behaviour tho'. And yes children behaving properly should be the default, but unfortunately often isn't. So it is useful to reward the children who do, despite the shenanigans going on around them.
Primary classes can be hard...not every child is taught how to behave in a way society accepts at home, schools have to try to pick up the slack sometimes.
But OP, don't say anything, agree with others, really in this case your DD just has to accept plans change.
Sounds like it all worked out ok with the card anyway.

I think if we eased off kids and let them have more golden time - or just 'playing' in general then we wouldn't be so het up on making kids conform to acceptable class room behaviour

I think that it is realistic for children to learn that, whilst there is a clear and consistent routine MOST of the time in school, occasionally this may alter due to outside factors. So if they've been on a trip and therefore are behind with numeracy or topic work, they might have to do without golden time. I also think that sometimes you just have to support your child's teacher and say something along the lines of "oh well it's mr/ms x's decision". I certainly wouldn't be going in to see my child's teacher to complain about something small like this, as I rather see them about important things.

*I would rather.

I think the way it was handled was wrong, if they must implement these things surely they should be sticking to them or just not bother.

It's the half assed attempts that cause more problems.

In this case had they been told before that because of the trip there wouldn't be time for GT it would be fine.

I agree with the posters that said it is a good oppertunity for you to explain that she should want to behave for her own reasons, but diagree with those who think you should back up the school regardless of what they are doing.

I don't think you should back the school up "regardless of whadthy are doing". But if you do complain about every little thing (and this is a little thing) that is not very supportive. If you expect your children to behave well at school then they need to know you are backing up their teachers. Obviously if you had a real concern about the school's ability to teach and care for your child then that changes things. But in this case there doesn't seem to be any need for intervention.

*what they

Also, there is very chance that the class was told that there'd be no golden time, but that your dd wa in the loo/ library area/ not listening. Or maybe the teacher just forgot, because they had about a million other things to do organising a class trip.

*every chance.

I hate my phone!