to share with you all a revelation regarding 'feeding on demand'?

[EccentricaGallumbits]

I have ed my self with what I think may be an unusual and radical kind of idea.

I feed myself on demand!

When I am hungry I eat something!

When I am thirsty I have a drink!

Sometimes I need a bit of comfort in the form of choclate or cake and it makes me feel good.

Some days I am hungrier and thirtsier than others and then I eat and drink a bit more, more often.

Sometimes I fancy a snack.

Why on earth would anyone expect a baby to be any different

Who thought it would be a good idea to make babies feed at certain times of the day, even if they needed a little something at other times?

Why is the thought of babies acting like other humans so horrific?

"It was the childs first ever day at school and neither parent took her."

I think that was desperately sad and that the Dad should have been there for her. Lots of children only have one parent on their first ever day of school. To have no parent with them is cruel, but fathers are special and can take a child for their first day at school.

I think I am in agreement with you, that the needs of all children have to be balanced. I completely agree with Lou you cannot brush the needs of the eldest aside. Failing to give attention to the older child is a recipe for sibling rivalary and jelously.

The problem with the internet is that messages don't come across as we expect. I'm sorry I have offend Lou.

I think part of our problem is the pressure we put on ourselves to be up and running and back to normal post birth. What's wrong with taking time out to get to know your new addition? This brings to my mind the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child". Older children certainly won't be disadvantaged if they're looked after by someone other than their mums while mum recovers and feeds a newborn on demand. DH and ds are very close now after the birth of dd 3 months ago, which unavoidably took me away from ds a bit. We're starting to get an equilibrium back although it's hard.

Thanks reallytired, it is hard to get points across properly isn't it. I have done the same with texts and upset people as have typed it 'jokingly' in my head but it hasn't read that way, lol.

My DD was miserable before she had a bit of a routine. I had thought it would've been the opposite but there you go.

Not read all the posts, just the last couple of pages.

I've always demand fed my babies. DS was bottle fed EBM (latch issues). He was good at going every 3 hours though, even though he was demand fed and it wasn't something I made him get used to. Sometimes he will only have a half the bottle though - handy when it is EBM and you can put it pack in the fridge!

DD was and is BF still at 19 months, completely on demand. I did have to put Cbeebies on for DS, who was 21 months when DD was born, everytime it was feed time, to keep him occupied so I could feed DD in peace. I could never do the reading a book thing with him while she fed as DS would demand that he sat in my lap and wanted DD out of there! Toddler groups were also handy for feeding DD while DS played. I have even fed DD while walking around.

I can't imagine not feeding a hungry baby. I know that I don't demand feed myself, as I do wait for mealtimes etc, but small babies have immediate needs and small tummies. And a BF indeed is a wonderful tool for calming an unsettled baby/toddler whether they be hungry or not. I didn't have this tool for DS and I had to spend longer calming and settling him if he was unhappy but wasnt' hungry (but luckily he was a very happy baby, and this happened very rarely!).

cherries, if you discovered what made your baby happier and put it into practice, then you are feeding 'on demand'....better termed as 'feeding responsively'.

Although I am a total baby "wearing," cloth diapering, breast-feeding on demand hippy, I think your logic is flawed.

I got into work this morning and was hungry from about 10am. I didn't eat until noon because I didn't get a break until then. I don't eat on demand; I eat when I am hungry AND the opportunity presents itself.

Pfbs are often fed on demand, y wouldn't u, u can sleep when they do. When child 2,3 and then 4 came along i chNged my tune not do practical I am afraid!

Did anyone see this article at the weekend? Interesting on both the positives and negatives of feeding on demand.

Interesting article MainlyMaynie.

Although for me personally, I'd have found it stressful and exhausting NOT feeding on demand. All the clock watching and trying to distract/entertain the baby when they are hungry sounds like hard work to me.

If I fed myself on demand, I'd be bedbound with severe morbid obesity. I'm not a baby though and my stomach is not baby sized.

I bf my dts on demand with a 17 month dd. I also still managed to get out of the house daily to take her to toddler groups, story times, friends houses, soft plays etc.

I rarely tandem fed as dts rarely 'demanded' to be fed at the same time.

Just because I bf on demand does not mean my dd1 was neglected. I could bf with the baby in one arm whilst sat on the floor doing puzzles/colouring/trains/cars/books.

Around half of the mums I know with dts bf on demand as well. This is around the same ratio of mums of singletons I know.

I do feed myself on demand though - I am a grazer and eat little and often rather than 3 set meals a day.

I fed dd1 on demand and turned her into a right fat bloater. Thankfully she isnt like that now and I definitely wont be doing that again with my next one

Also I dont eat on demand as an adult as that is what makes you overweight. It is what has made people I know overweight and they admit it because they cant stop grazing imo. You dont often meet a slim person who eats on demand.

Molly, I suppose it depends on what sort of demand. Your post has made me think! If I ate on demand when I actually hungry, it would be fine but I often feel like eating on demand due to my emotions, stress etc. That's the trouble with babies, they can't tell you if they're hungry.

But babies won't feed if they're not hungry (I know, I've tried!). I also find the comfort sucking doesn't tend to produce any milk, whereas a proper feed feels different.

Ds got chubby around the 1 year old mark, but now he's like a whippet. I miss his little round tummy.

Probably a bit off topic, but does anyone know a good way of stopping a just turned one year old feeding to sleep?

It would be fine if it was just when he was put down to sleep but he wakes every 20-40 mins, at the most 2 hours all night.

He's not hungry as he now has a bottle and hardly drinks any of it so it seems to be a comfort thing.

He's been doing it for the last four months.

Indeed Astronaut you make a salient point. I have never breastfed a baby so I wouldn't know. I still stand by the whole "what does eating/drinking on demand mean?" but for adults, not little people.

I think some babies do feed even when they are not hungry. My hv said that she thought dd was and I think she was to. She was proper massive though and went off the chart a lot and she only started at 6 stone 5 but went to obese by 8 months according to bmi, but I was always feeding her a lot cause at the time I dont think I was thinking about it. In hindsight I was just doing it out of habit

6 pound 5 not stone!! that would of been massive

crashdoll - that is something that worried me hugely my dad is a person that eats when he is stressed/emotional etc me, my mum and my brother arent like that and are all super fit, heathly with no excess weight on us.

My dad has always struggled with his weight because he eats for the wrong reasons. I worried I had done that to DD when she was little with the milk but now think she has grown out of it.I think its the worse possible habit to get your child in to, and think its not neccessarily learnt in baby years but definitely during childhood.

at six stone five. I physically clenched reading that!

I am currently feeding on demand a 5 week old. She is doing well the bf is all very well, but boy do I feel drained by it by the end of the day I just want half hour where dd isn't on me, for feed, sleep, suckling. I am grumpy yes I am...

But it would seem hideous to me to anything other than feed and comfort her when she's hungry. Babies needs are dictated by their inate drives evolved over thousands of years to optimise survival.

I suspect that most people are somewhere in between feeding on demand and feeding to a routine. For example, if you know you have to be driving at a particular time (eg. school run), whether you feed on demand or to a routine, you might see if you can get the baby to take enough to tide them over until a more convenient time to feed.

DD had reflux (still does at nearly 4). We found that if fed purely on demand, she fed too often and was in more discomfort. Giving her a dummy if she appeared hungry but it was less than about 3 hours since her last feed resulted in less pain. Please note I wrote "about 3 hours". I did not obsessively clock watch, just kept a vague idea of when she last fed and when she was likely to want to feed again. Given what we now know about DD's stomach problems, as a baby she probably had no idea whether what she was feeling was hunger or not. Being hungry hurts her stomach.

When DC2 is born, he/she has a 90% chance of also having reflux. So I think we will attempt to follow the same sort of 'routine'. I would be interested to know if anyone has successfully fed a baby with reflux on demand.

Not feeding on demand and supplementing/replacing breastfeeds with formula is probably the main cause of the bulk of breastfeeding failure in the West.

And babies don't understand about time in the same way that we do - I reckon hunger is very distressing and frightening for them.

It saddens me that so many babies learn about what hunger is as part of their first experience of life outside the womb. And in the West too, where there's absolutely no need for it, and where once they're toddlers and have more autonomy, the likelihood is that they'll rarely be distressed by it again.