Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop TTC in March to avoid a Christmas baby?

109 replies

PuffPants · 19/03/2012 11:24

According to the due date calculator on MN, my next due date (if we were to conceve this month) would be 23rd December.

We started trying for DC2 a couple of months ago and agreed we'd have a break in March. I feel a Christmas birthday must be a bit rubbish for a child. But then I do want a baby as early in the academic year as possible. Also, once you're on the ttc train, it seems a bit weird to get off for a month...

WWYD?

OP posts:
Columbia999 · 20/03/2012 01:16

My son's birthday is the 30th of December and it's awful for him. His birthday gets forgotten about, even by relatives, because it's in between Christmas and New Year and he never had a party because his birthday was in the school holidays (and he didn't know any schoolmates' addresses).
Mean people buy him a Christmas present, and then if you remind them that it's his birthday, they tut and say that the present was for both, which is really tight! It's as if they think he has a nerve to expect a birthday present or even a card, just because it's at this time.

PorridgeBrain · 20/03/2012 05:33

I would have avoided it personally, I never had to in the end though (had June and sep babies). The fact that you are thinking of it and don't like the idea of a Dec baby, suggests it may be a good idea to avoid March.

theodorakis · 20/03/2012 05:46

Well it's up to you but some of us were just happy for the impossible to happen at all and wouldn't have quibbled over the date. If you are perfectly fertile then it's nice to have a choice but I don't really think it's the end of the world to be born at Christmas.

echt · 20/03/2012 06:56

Has anyone mentioned secondary infertility? I pissed away months planning for the right time for a second child.

Don't assume you can get pregnant a second time.

Best of luck, OP. :)

SodoffBaldrick · 20/03/2012 07:04

My birthday is the week before Christmas, and I love it - especially so as a child. Didn't feel hard-done by in the slightest. Was just a fab time of year for me, and it didn't even occur to me to think that it was awful to wait a whole year for more presents...

OK, it's summer at that time of year where I am so that adds to it all, but still.

I'm not a hippy dippy, angels and crystals-shite type of person in the slightest, but.... what if you're meant to have a Christmas baby?! Then by not TTCing, you're just messing with the system Wink delaying the inevitable. And - if you're not meant to have a Christmas baby, then TTCing in March won't make a blind bit of difference.

YABU. Just get on with it.

mrspepperpotty · 20/03/2012 07:15

I agree with Goolash, there are so many less-than-ideal birthday dates.

My DH's birthday is 27th Dec and he always moans about it. DS is in year 1 and there are a couple of July / Aug birthdays in his class who are really struggling compared to the rest of the class - I'm sure they'll catch up eventually, but it's a difficult start to the school experience for them. My DD is Sept, which was planned as I wanted to avoid a July / Aug baby so we held off starting TTC for a couple of months, but the planning would have gone out of the window if she'd been early. As it is, she is very tall for her age as well as being one of the oldest in the class - now I worry that she'll be self-conscious about towering over the boys in years to come!

If you tried to avoid all the potential pitfalls you'd only be TTC for half the year!

harassedandherbug · 20/03/2012 07:17

I agree with proud & Martha, just go for it!

Ds is 11wks old and was born on New Years Day, but was due on 22nd Dec. But I had a mmc & mc previously, so tbh we're just so grateful that he's here safely. I am glad that he didn't come on Christmas or Boxing Day though!

The5thFishy · 20/03/2012 07:20

Yanbu, its shit having a Christmas birthday.

DuelingFanjo · 20/03/2012 07:23

Like others have said it depends on how much you want a baby. Tabby to make your own choices even if I personally think it's weird that people think they can plan a due date. My son was born on 22 dec (almost 2 weeks later than the due date I was given) exactly 9 calendar months after my last chance IVF. I wouldn't change it for anything .

DuelingFanjo · 20/03/2012 07:24

Yanbu not tabby. Stupid iPad

ragged · 20/03/2012 07:25

I wouldn;t stop TTC for this reason, BUT I wouldn't blame anyone who did. I've known so many women who were very stressed out because of having a baby due around Xmas. If the idea stresses you out, than I think it's perfectly understandable to avoid.

diddl · 20/03/2012 07:36

I find it really sad that people are so unhappy with their Christmas birthdays tbh.

I always had separate presents & a party.

We always put the decs up on my birthday.

Kayzr · 20/03/2012 07:40

I feel the same Diddl. If the children aren't getting a party it is the parents fault not the December birthday.

We always put the decs up on my brothers birthday and now we put them up on DS2's. Its lovely having all the lights etc up for him when he wakes up.

treesprite · 20/03/2012 07:47

First time round we were picky and baby 1 came to order. Baby 2 took a long time and in the end gave no regard to when birthday would be, just so desperate. Plus, always fancied a little Christmas Holly, but it didn't happen! Good luck with your TTC, OP!

mrspepperpotty · 20/03/2012 07:48

Yes but you can't put up the decs on my DH's 27th Dec birthday! In fact he says everyone is sick of rich food and general merriment by then!

diddl · 20/03/2012 08:05

Oh there´s always an awkward one, mrspepperGrin

No you can´t put decs up then-I was just reminiscing.

Although I would have thought that children would have been up for a party on the 27th!

cairnterrier · 20/03/2012 11:49

Well we have a wonderful little bundle of energy who is the centre of our lives. He's 2 now so very inquisitive, has his own opinions on a whole range of things and is generally a big boy. Apart from when he settling down to sleep of course when he still wants a big cuddle from Mummy and Daddy. And in the mornings he comes running into our bedroom to see us first thing. When he laughs it is truly infectious, I see a small reflection of both me and DH in his eyes. When he cries my heart breaks.

Oh and his birthday is the week before Christmas. I can't even conceive of missing out on all the above, just because his birthday (one day out of the whole year) wouldn't be convenient.

PuggyMum · 20/03/2012 11:56

We are in the same boat op so are having a month off. After a few months ttc it's nice to be able to relax as we are trying not to get stressed with it all too x

FriendofDorothy · 20/03/2012 13:17

Yeah I think YABU. I have a Christmas birthday and I have always loved it. It meant that I was always home for my birthday when I was at uni.

Having already spent a long time TTC I would be happy to have a baby at any time of the year. I think if you can conceive easily and it would bother you that much then have a month off, but I have discovered that assuming you can get pregnant easily doesn't always work!

I would give anything for a December baby this year. :(

Katienana · 20/03/2012 13:53

Craziness, I have a December birthday and so does my husband. Yes 25th December is not ideal but at least it's always a day off, always with family and loved ones, and everyone is up for celebrating.
I don't mind being a December baby at all. Given the choice I think January would be a worse time, it's a depressing month and everyone is skint! Plus you would be heavily pregnant over Christmas with a Jan baby. If you are bothered enough to stop TTC then I am sure you will always make the birthday special anyway.

CleanHankie · 20/03/2012 14:12

I'm a 23rd Dec baby and DD2 is a Christmas Day baby. Christmas is a big deal in this house because of it.

I've always loved my birthday and have had friends tell me years later that they preferred my parties as the decorations and tree were up and added to the party atmosphere more than bouncy castles and outside treasure hunts.

When TTC DC2 we did admittedly start in April but by the time a year had gone by we just didn't think to check dates so when my mw worked my dates out, checked my record and let out a laugh that I was due on my birthday, I had a massive grin on my face. I will do everything my parents did for me for DD2's birthday and hopefully make it just as enjoyable as my birthdays were. We've decided that we'll celebrate DD2's birthday on Christmas Eve so we have 3 days of celebration. (She arrived only a minute after midnight so always feel like she was a 24th baby not a 25th). We like to spend Christmas Day alone as just family of 4, so Christmas Eve is a little hectic with all the grandparents and aunties coming to wish DD2 Happy birthday but I can cope with that. Only downside is I feel I haven't put as much effort into her birthday cakes as much as I have with eldest daughter.

Can't comment on hospital care as DD2 was a home birth baby but there is some light hearted joking between mw's as to who will deliver the first one on Christmas Day (believe my mw made some money out of us Wink) and our hospital has a special crib for the first christmas baby, decorated with lace and trimmings!!

englishmummyinwales · 20/03/2012 16:46

Before I started to TTC, I always thought that I'd try to avoid the end of the school year and Christmas, but after two years of apparent infertility, followed by 3 mcs, I just wanted a baby and didn't care! DS1 is 8th August and DS2 is 21st December - OK so he's only had two birthdays so far, but Christmas gets put on hold, it's his day and we celebrate accordingly, I hope he won't 'hate it' as some on here have said, when he's older. No it's not ideal, but let's face it, statistically a quarter of people must have a birthday within 6 weeks of Christmas!

And as someone else said, it was absolutely magical bringing home a baby for Christmas - best Christmas ever!

harrietlichman · 20/03/2012 16:53

DS1 has his birthday on 11th Dec - he loves it as he feels December is his month - and it was so lovely having a new born baby for Christmas! We don't put up Xmas decs etc until after his birthday so it feels special for him, and the only drawback is having b'day and Xmas cards out at the same time! It's lovely having a December b'day, IME. That being said, it's totally up to you - I can imagine actually being in labour/hospital over Xmas itself would be a bit grim, so overall I don't think YABU. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

CaveMum · 20/03/2012 17:31

Another one here who says don't assume you'll get pregnant when you want to.

When we first started ttc I'd have probably thought the same as you re. Christmas babies, but now, almost 2 years down the line, I couldn't give a toss when a baby is born. I just want to be pregnant Sad

TeWihara · 20/03/2012 17:46

DS (DC2) was born on 24th Dec last year.

It's not perfect but I have every intention of doing everything I can to make it special for him. We'd been TTC for 6 mths (really not that long in the scheme of things) and if we'd skipped that month maybe we'd still be trying now?

I don't know... He's on my lap now and he's gorgeous, a month later and he wouldn't be the same baby. So I officially love Christmas babies.