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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stop TTC in March to avoid a Christmas baby?

109 replies

PuffPants · 19/03/2012 11:24

According to the due date calculator on MN, my next due date (if we were to conceve this month) would be 23rd December.

We started trying for DC2 a couple of months ago and agreed we'd have a break in March. I feel a Christmas birthday must be a bit rubbish for a child. But then I do want a baby as early in the academic year as possible. Also, once you're on the ttc train, it seems a bit weird to get off for a month...

WWYD?

OP posts:

MissCalamity · 19/03/2012 13:00

It depends how much you want a baby.

When me & OH decided to TTC our first, it was in February 2009. I didn't know how long it would take as we'd both never been down this road before. I didn't want to try a month, wait a month, then start trying again.

As it happens I got caught in March and therefore ended up being due in December. DS was born on 15/12/09. I have been very organised the past 3 years, but do get a bit stressed out with it all! Don't think DS is too bothered at the moment, but it may change when he gets older.

Trying to convince OH to TTC again, but am waiting until at least June!!

Groovee · 19/03/2012 13:07

Dh and I are both December birthdays and regularly made sure our contraception was good between Feb to April. We ideally wanted summer babies but have an autumn (october) and a Winter (january) birthday instead as neither child was born in the month they should have been born in.

MarthasHarbour · 19/03/2012 13:11

I think if you had been TTC for longer you would think differently. We started in Jan 2010, had a MC in March, then two early MC's so we are pushing on through this month, TBH if we get PG with no complications and have a baby at the end of it we will be over the moon and not bothered in the least if it is a xmas baby.

We learned the hard way that you cant plan when to have a baby to fit in with seasons, holiday plans and academic years.. (not being arsey btw, just think you should relax and TTC as it could take aaaages)

Good luck

valiumredhead · 19/03/2012 13:16

Just get on with it and see what happens. My friend's kids all have birthday very near or just after xmas - it's hard work but she makes it special for them.

McHappyPants2012 · 19/03/2012 13:20

My birthday is crap mid December people are too busy and skint.

Yanbu to try and avoid it

ImOnABreak · 19/03/2012 13:27

I thought that, conceived in April and was due end of jan.
It was dts and they came early.

We have their birthday and Christmas within a week of each other

IWantToBeAWomble · 19/03/2012 13:27

Out of 5 DNs, 3 of them have birthdays on 22, 25 & 28th December!
I personally would try to avoid this time as a general rule. However as I am now older and going through my 2nd MC, so I may change my mind, and do agree with Marthasharbour above.

I always buy 2 presents for each DN. The oldest normally celebrates his birthday in January. The second (25th) has a half birthday party in the summer, and the youngest has been too young so far, but I suspect may share the half birthday party with his sister.

So, not ideal, and can be avoided, but if you are at the point where a healthy baby full stop is the only concern, then keep TTC.

Good luck!

foxeeroxee · 19/03/2012 13:29

Its entirely up to you but iv got 2dc + oh born in december and 1dc born in january and just the cost of all the birthdays and christmas are very hard.
the children dont seem to be bothered though i wish we could have planned it better but hey ho...maybe im especially fertlie in spring!! :-D

ToxicToria · 19/03/2012 13:32

My son was due in the 23rd and born on Christmas day but that obviously doesn't answer your question sorry

FilterCoffee · 19/03/2012 13:35

How old are you? If you're over 30 I'd get on with it. And at any age there's no guarantee TTC will be successful.

naturalbaby · 19/03/2012 14:06

I desperately wanted a Spring/early summer baby so timed the start of TTC for that, definately no where near Christmas. I got a Jan baby but end of Jan so Christmas is just about over.

I don't know whether it's worse for him or his big brother with an August birthday.

I read the Chinese are all desperately trying to have a baby in 2012 because it will be the year of the dragon (very lucky I think), so if you look at it that way this is your last chance to have a dragon baby!

Kveta · 19/03/2012 14:11

DH and I agreed we didn't want a December or February birthday, and also wanted to avoid July/August.

However, we have been EXTREMELY lucky in that conception is very easy for us. I think if we had had difficulties, we would still have avoided a feb birthday if at all possible (both of us are feb birthdays, as are most of my family - his are all december birthdays!), but any other date would not have been a problem.

As it is, DS is a september birthday, and DC2 will be a June birthday, unless she decides to arrive early.

But like I say, we have been lucky with TTC (every time we have tried, we have conceived within the fortnight - but have had 1 mc so far).

Moominsarescary · 19/03/2012 14:19

I think yanbu,

I don't want to conceive a baby due in feb as I had a mc and the baby would have been due feb. I also had a late loss at 20 weeks with a little boy who was also due in feb. Although I know iabu and slightly paranoid I don't want another feb dd.

Funnily enough two of my children have feb birthdays even though they were due in jan and march.

ViolaCrayola · 19/03/2012 14:29

YANBU, but I probably wouldn't do it. Just because I like the idea that when it happens, it happens...
My DS is mid November which you could say wasn't ideal either but where do you draw the line? And as others have said you could have a January DD and then your DC could come early.
DC2 is due Sept 1st - could be an August birthday, but what will be will be.

fatherchewylouis · 19/03/2012 14:33

My sones birthday is 23rd December so I take that as a personal affront (joke).

Seriously, it is a crappy time to have birthday but also a crappy time to arrange prsents and parties so iif you are not desperate to conceive ASAP why not leave it a month.

Hoebag · 19/03/2012 15:01

I'm a December baby and as much as it may suck a bit you could just celebrate their bday in January or something .

get doing the deed !!

diddl · 19/03/2012 15:11

My birthday & just before Christmas, & I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!!!

I should have born 10wks later...

GusTheOneEyedPolarBear · 19/03/2012 15:44

My DS2's bday is 8/12, was due 18/12 2011 so this will be the first year we'll experience this.
I think it's made me more organized with the present buying as I've already sorted DS1, DN and DM for Christmas, but I am slightly worried about whether or not he'll get a birthday party like his brother and whether he'll miss out in other ways eg: getting joint Christmas and birthday gifts. So I can understand why you would prefer not to conceive in March.
Personally I feel it's worse to be born just after Christmas than just before because at least people are in a celebratory mood and want to go out, everyone's hungover and skint come January.
On the other hand, I don't regret having DS2 in Dec as It was really nice not to have to work over Christmas and it was really special to have DS2 there with us. Also I felt more uncomfortable in the middle of August at 5 months pg than I did in Nov at 8 months pg because of the heat so a winter baby does have its advantages.
I don't think YABU but I don't think you should stop TTC in March just because you don't like the idea of a Christmas baby.

Hopandaskip · 19/03/2012 15:57

Our plan was to do that because I have a bunch of friends who have Xmas/NY birthdays and on the most part they don't like it. I got pg in Feb though and my baby was nearly 4 weeks early so we didn't come close.

Kayzr · 19/03/2012 15:59

My DS2's birthday is the 12th December and my brothers is 14th December. Both get birthday parties and presents. So the no party thing is slightly ridiculous.

Proudnscary · 19/03/2012 16:05

YABU, honestly. I've known so many people (myself included) who've had miscarriages or worse or TTC for years that I think you should throw caution to the wind and feel blessed whenever you have another one. I don't mean that in a doom and gloom or unpleasant way, I mean it as well-meant advice.

MarthasHarbour · 19/03/2012 16:24

what proudnscary said

my birthday is the end of January, it is fine, i get pressies (usually the decent stuff that is in the sales in Boots, people spend the same as they usually do but buy a much better pres, also i get vouchers which i spend in the sales - winner )

aldiwhore · 19/03/2012 16:27

YANBU as long as you remember that things don't always go to plan... so put a time limit on 'the plan' if it doesn't work out, forget the plan and just enjoy TTC without all the worries about academic years, birthday dates etc etc.,

I know a few Christmas babies (well, adults actually) and they always have a great birthday because they are very clear about what is what. I'd never DARE wrap their birthday presents in Christmas paper for example!

EasilyBored · 19/03/2012 16:33

Well, I wouldn't bother stopping. DS is a Christmas Day baby, and he wasn't due till the 12th Jan. We'll just make sure to make a big effort to recognise his birthday as well as Christmas, and we might have a '6 month' birthday in the summer too.

The only reason I wuold say to avoid Nov/Dec/Jan babies is the weather - getting snowed in while heavily pregnant or with a newborn would horrible. Oh, and cold and flu season. Blurgh, annoying people coughing and sneezing all over your newborn.

MrsApplepants · 19/03/2012 16:35

YANBU I would leave it a month, not likely to make a huge difference to you and will just make life easier to avoid a December birthday. My sister's birthday is dec 22 and she hates it.

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