To think it is sexist when men say "the wife"

[Grag]

I think it is but my OH says not because "my wife" implies ownership. I'm not sure now.

DH calls me 'the wife'. I am 'the wife' so it doen't bother me. I refer to him as 'the husband' sometimes. The Dcs are 'the 12 year old' and 'the 9 year old' when speaking to strangers that don't know their names.

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it Grag.

What sparkling said! (Sure I said that already today!)

I don't like it and it sounds a little off, but then it's not the worse thing in the world.

Assuming 'the wife' has a name, why not use that instead?

I think dh mostly refers to be by my name.

I don't know if it's sexist but I find it vile. I have never heard a woman refer to her husband as "The Husband".

DH calls me 'the current wife'! :o

"The wife" and "my wife" are both useful ways of referring to the person who you are married to, especially if talking to someone who doesn't actually know that your name is Grag. If he said "Grag" then he would have to explain further.

Personally I prefer "my wife" as there are loads of wives in the world. "The wife" sounds as if there is just one, like "the Queen" or "the Pope".

My wife

The woman to whom I am married

Grag, my wife

Grag, who I have entered into a legally-binding contract also known as marriage

Nope doesn't bother me. Sounds a bit blokish, but not sexist.

If they followed it up with "is a useless hoor" I'd have something to say about it, but 'the wife' by itself is just hunky dory.

I think you are overthinking things slightly. Yes it's sexist but most of the time people say it in a jokey endearing way.

Not sexist per se ... but ime often used by those of a sexist disposition, iykwim

I call DH 'wor fella'

Because I am so Geordie

I think you overthink this

How is is sexist exactly?

I would use 'the husband' in a conversation with someone who didn't know his name.

As long as you are not treated in a sexist manner by your/the husband, does it matter? Really?

Nice of the OP to come back to the thread and thank us for our replies.

I didn't see it as a big thing, it just seems old fashioned, like Terry & June or some sitcom from the 70s.

Thank you for your replies.

Doesn't annoy me half as much as "wifey" does. That pisses me off no end as I find it so disrespectful. DH doesn't call me "the wife" or "wifey" though as he knows better than that.

DH uses the term. it makes him feel all manly- bless him when he is talking to people who don't know me about me. If he is talking to opepole who do know me then he uses my name.
It doesn't bother me at all.

There a bigger things to worry about I think.

My brother calls his wife 'the wife' and she calls him 'the husband/hubby'. I refer to dh as 'my husband' when chatting to people I don't know well enough that they remember dh by name. For at work for example. I don't see the issue as I am dhs wife and he is my husband. The 'my' is in reference to the relationship we have to each other not ownership.

But you did think it was a big thing. You thought it was sexist which is rather a big thing.

At my sister in law's wedding her husband made a speech then passed the microphone to his wife and said 'the bitch wants to say something now.' I was totally shocked that he would say such a thing at their wedding in front of everyone!