To think it is sexist when men say "the wife"

[Grag]

I think it is but my OH says not because "my wife" implies ownership. I'm not sure now.

My oh calls me 'r lass' or in a gypsy style 'my woman',he means it to be endearing and quite frankly i couldnt give a shit. id prefer him call me that than something like 'oi slaaaag' :-D
Surely if its that much of a bother then you could ask him to stop.... :-S

"Nice of the OP to come back to the thread and thank us for our replies." Give her a chance, Sparklingbrook!

YANBU. 'The wife' means you could be any wife. 'My wife" means you are his wife and shows respect.

Doesn't bother me in the slightest

When writing, as in on forums or maybe facebook, I call my husband 'himself'. As in the way people called the laird himself. It stems from something that he/we did

"Himself" is a very Irish expression, my Dad uses that all the time to refer to various males...even the dog

It would be more deferential than that if it wasn't for the fact I am taking the piss somewhat

YANBU.

"The" is used to refer to objects, like "the table". I wouldn't be too flattered to be described in that category.

"My" is the word for referring to a relationship. Yes it is also used for possessions, but that's a different use of the word. "My" doesn't denote ownership when referring to relatives/friends, for example "my second cousin four times removed" or "my friend" isn't someone you "own" in any way!

I wouldn't be with the sort of bloke who would call me "the wife". Agree it's dismissive and patronising..

How is it any different to saying "I'm just going to pick the kids up"?...or "I'm just cooking dinner for the kids"?

I don't know why it sounds dismissive and patronising but I agree with *2Rebecca" it just does....to me anyway.

Couldn't care less as long as he doesn't call me "our lass" or "the old lass"
"babe" or "lunatic bitch from hell"

He generally refers me to me as "the other half" or "signet"

:)

Weirdly my dad has only ever called my mum by her first name once in over 40 years of marriage and that was when they exchanged vows on their wedding day.

He's a very quiet bloke, but even so it is quite an achievement, he doesn't have a nickname for her owt either.

I do not see it that way at all, well I say my husband all the time, it just sounds so great, it reminds me how lucky I am to have that gorgeous fella by my side, and yes he is all mine, and only mine, well, not, now I share him with DD

Mine calls me the/my mrs it doesn't bother me and I certainly don't find it offensive or sexist

"The wife" sounds like a thing. "My wife" means your wife, a person, not a "the". I also call people my friend, my fil, my brother etc. Just defining the relationship, that's all. :)
I refer to my husband to people who know his name, as "hisname". On forums and to strangers, as "my husband".

You would only say "the kids" if it was more than one though. You wouldn't say "I'm going to pick the daughter up", You'd say our/my daughter, or more commonly her name. Similarly you'd talk about visiting "the inlaws" but not "the mother in law" it would be "my MIL" or her name.
You would however talk about "the dog" or "the cat". People are normally given more respect than this.

As sparkling has said I call dh the husband

yanbu. Naff and sexist. 'The wife' fgs.

Jeeze. The fact that the thought existed in your head even for a nano second says something about you.

Women face serious problems whether it at the workplace, at home, in politics etc etc etc. and yet you are concerned that being called 'the wife' was possibly sexist???

If DH calls you the 'babymaking machine' or 'the unpaid help/cook/cleaner' then you have a case but 'the wife'??? You obviously have too much time on your hand.

I like being called 'The Wife' as another poster has said it us cos he is proud to be married to me.