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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fil ranting and raving at MY house on Mothers day

82 replies

pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 11:48

Father in law has came to my house to collect my H to take him to see his mum(they live far).
He came through my door and started ranting and raving about how he dont treat his mum right (confused)! And how he has lost 4 grandkids and he doesnt care ?? And all this was because he thought my H didnt have a present to take to his mum! She swore and shouted infront of all my kids and slammed my front door and drove off!!
Of course my H treats his mum right-he has decorated her house from top to bottom over a 2 year period, lets her in our house even after divulging to my eldest daughter my H aint her blood father (none of her beeswax)!!
Am i right in thinking its time to cut my losses with my inlaws as they cause so much trouble in mine & Hs life?

OP posts:
MyLittleMiracle · 18/03/2012 18:47

I did get my mum a presents for mothers day, a box of chocolates form me and a keying from my little boy, and two cards, it cost probably less than a tenner or there abouts, but she said i didnt need to have, just a text message to say happy mothers day, would have meant the world, just to know she was being thought of. So yes your FIL was being an arse.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 18/03/2012 18:51

Completely Confused by this thread.

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 19:14

Basically my Fil came round shouting the odds about a mothers day present that he thought my H had not bought (he had). We tried to explain this to him but he wouldnt let us get a word in edge ways and started ranting about "how we hadnt bought her nothing and how a bunch of flowers& chocs wont cut it get in the fing car now son!" B4 he even knew we bought anything then he started goin on about how badly H treats her which is totally untrue he's always decorating for her and doin odd jobs. Then he went on to say he doesnt care if he loses 4 grandkids because of this so off course im guna b mad it was all infront of my kids. They are the worst inlaws ever and are getting worse as rubygloom knows

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 18/03/2012 19:18

I feel like I have wandered into a live episode of Jeremy Kyle... Confused

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 19:20

Thats what its like-jeremy kyle, maybe they should go on it lol

OP posts:
RaPaPaPumPumBootyMum · 18/03/2012 19:48

Who are these people?!

Confused

I gather there is a bit of a back story and RL crossover...

I agree with squeaky, it does read like an episode of JK...

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 19:52

They are my pil and rubygloom is a friend of mine. This is all true and yes they are shocking and hurtful and wanted opinions on whether i was being unreasonable for being mad. Wish the thread was made up as my life would be easierAngry

OP posts:
MummytoKatie · 18/03/2012 20:11

So you didn't have to spend mother's day with them? Sounds like a good result to me!

Stop texting Mil. Wait and see what happens. Either FIL will apologise - in which case you can decide if you care enought o forgive and forget or he won't - in which case you need never see them again.

Enjoy your day with your kids.

DamnBamboo · 18/03/2012 20:21

Confused by this thread.

Textspeak is really annoying.

That is all!

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 20:22

Thanku mummytokaty , just got my goat thats all and dont think i can forgive this time as it isnt the 1st time my kids have been shouted about. Im happy to recieve anything for mothers day as im truly grateful all my kids are alive & healthy and that my mum is healthy. Lost my 16 yr old bro a few years back so his ranting about a present really upset me as my mum doesnt have her son anymore so i found it very shallow as mil doesnt know how lucky she is just to have her son in her life. I would trade any presents if i could have my bro back and to say he'd give up his grandkids for a present makes me truly mad

OP posts:
Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 20:23

Its confusing as u probably cant believe what u are reading

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 18/03/2012 20:45

My head hurts.

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 20:47

Not as much as mine

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 18/03/2012 20:51

You just got your goat?

There's a lot of talk about goats here on MN.

What on earth is all this goat lark about?

Rubygloom · 18/03/2012 21:21

I know the op Smile Who are all these people with goats?I want oneWink

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 21:44

Got my goat means being pissed off

OP posts:
Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 21:46

Thanx to those who understood the thread and offered their thoughts

OP posts:
CreepyWeeBrackets · 18/03/2012 21:53

OP we know - it's just a bit of a MN in-joke, don't worry. Wine has probably been consumed so I people are feeling carefree, that's all.

Your FIL is an utter arse. WTF did MIL mean with her text? Was she pleased that a present had been bought or pleased that she wouldn't be seeing you or the DC in the future? She sounds a bit unhinged tbh.

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 22:07

I think Mil was being sarcastic in her txt and probably spelt made as maid to make a point. They are all a bit high and mighty tbh and c me as being below them as i had a daughter when i met their son

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 18/03/2012 22:15

I think you are reading way too much into the spelling. And can I suggest that you dont live your life on the internet so much, you would be very easily identifiable, you dont want this whole situation made worse by the fact that you have spread it all over the web.

mumofthemonsters808 · 18/03/2012 22:30

Can I just ask..why was FIL taking your OH to see his Mum, why was he not making his own way there and taking the present himself.FIL seems very high rate and pissed off, is there more of a story to this. I don't like to hear of any family arguing or falling out on Mother's Day, life's too short.

Morloth · 18/03/2012 22:32

Just ditch them, no point in drama if there isn't an audience.

lydiamama · 18/03/2012 22:37

Your mother in law has revealed to your daughter something extremely serious that only you and your husband have a right to tell her, so that would be a huge warning or cut completely for me. And swearing in front of children it is unacceptable, especially for no reason. In my view, you will be in the right to never allow them in your house again, your little ones are more important that anyone else, and they certainly did not have your DD happiness in their account when they told her, did they? Good luck.

ifeelloved · 18/03/2012 22:40

OK forst things first your FIL was out of order and you're PIL sound like a nightmare, but FGS, why text???????

There are so many posts on here where people have arguements with others over text and facebook - pick up the damn phone! Its too easy for things to be misunderstood and everything to escalate.

As I said, your FIL was in the wrong but I don't think you helped improve matters with your text. By all means cut contact but stop texting and speak to people

Original poster
pumpkinsweetie · 18/03/2012 22:43

They live far away and we do not own a car. His family have always been the same they start petty rows over gifts, get him doing odd jobs/diy all the time. We did fall out with mil a few weeks ago due to her slagging off my 9 year old daughter but i decided to give them another chance so i cant think why he came round with this attitude, because if anything H has been quite lenient with his mother. Shes lucky to be getting a gift at all so when he turned up in this fit of rage i was understandably shocked as, as far as i knew he was just picking up H to see his mum but thenthe ranting started. What he said about my kids was uncalled for dont u think?

OP posts:
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