To think that I'm better than all of you?

[TandB]

Come on. Let's all stop pussyfooting around with the 'I'm not judging but...' threads. Let's just come right out and say it. I'll start us off...

My choices are right. Yours are wrong.
I am morally correct. You are morally deficient.
My contribution to society is more valid than yours.
My children are better adjusted, more intelligent, politer and more likely to succeed. They also have more shapely ears and cleaner nostrils.
I am generally just a better specimen of humanity than all of you lot who have just got it all a bit wrong.

Well I have 18 children, so sorry I didn't manage the Learn Cantonese Programme when they were foetuses ffs

But...but they ALL sit nicely in restaurants, with no crying or running about. I often have strangers congratulate me on having 18 under 10 year olds (I have had a few multiple births) who are so well behaved.

I work full time and my house is always clean and tidy. I don't understand these mums with messy houses . Are they just lazy??

kungfu - yes you did get carried away

Lesley - nice juxtapost.

My children only eat handmade organic McDonalds with meat from handmade cows.

What Viking your children eat farmers from Old McDonalds farm??

Yeah go to bed Viking...the site keeps going down anyway

(but if you miss a massive bun fight and the thread is deleted so you can't read it in the morning, you may regret it)

Yep they're proper vikings. And drink organic animal from their handknitted freerange horn cups.

I have chocolate vodka. I made it in the dishwasher......

*animal blood

Hopefully if there's a bunfight I can catch one of the repeat threads before they get deleted.

Yeah but LeQueen....I bet you only have 2 or 3 kids. I have 18 all under 10 years of age. And they are all beautifully behaved

Share the chocolate vodka ...I want some!

Thanks - cheque on the way....makes it out to LeQueen...thats right isn't it? I'm sure the bank will accept it. I will keep practising.

Sod the one upmanship, someone needs to point me in the direction of glitter and chocolate vodka. Or better yet glittery chocolate vodka

Ah...the best things in life are free LeQueen.

Oh I am impressed with your children doing that too! It makes it obvious to the hapless mother that there is no way your children swould even THINk of doing the same.

My kids were a nightmare in restaurants tbh ,well I only ever took them to McDonalds

usual...you're not getting into the spirit of the thread are you?

LeQueen - I think you should win the award on this thread for most smug parent.

I can't do smug