Did I really have to spell it out?!

[BobbysBeardOfWonder]

Ok to set the scene: I'm away this week with DD while our house gets renovated. Back Sunday evening.

I sent DH a text 2 days ago: 'please get DSiL (DBro's wife) a birthday card, it's her birthday on Sunday'.

Checked with DH today: yes he got a card. But hasn't sent it. Was he meant to?
Is it me being tired & 7 months pg or did I really not have to spell it out to him to write inside the card, address it, stick a stamp on & put it in the post box?

Sigh.

Yes I normally sort out all my side's cards etc but asked DH to do it just this once. And yes I know there are bigger things to worry about

YABU.

Uless your partner is another lady things MUST be spelled out.

'Tis harsh, but true.

The answer to that question is obviously "Yes".

Rubbish init?

Please please please ask him from me why he thought you asked him to get a card and told him that her birthday was on Sunday, given that you don't get back until sunday night and so you can obviously do nothing with said card. Please ask him what he thought you wanted the card for.

I am just dying to hear his reply

Yes. Get a card means get a card, not get a card, write it and send it.

Only a woman would interpret 'get a card' like that

My husband would have forgotten to even get the card...

But no, you would have thought the sending of the card was implicit.

YABU.

You asked him to get a card, he got a card.

And oooooh, seven months pregnant. Wow, so what, doesn't mean you can't actually ask your DH to do something instead of reading your mind does it?

Hecate I gave a long drawn out sigh when I spoke to him. I think his reply was 'mumble mumble erm didn't realise...'

still

Don't be ridiculous theincredibequeenofwands.

I mentioned my state of pregnancy as it might explain why I'm so tired and and about this tonight. Not in general.

That is men for you. As I am often told by mine "we are simple creatures". No shit. Too bloody simple sometimes.

abrakebabra that was unnecessarily bitchy?

Sorry, YABU. Instructions of this nature need to be very clear indeed.

Oh do fuck off with your generalisations.

If "men" are less good at extrapolating from instructions to "...and then do this and that and something else as well" then why is that? It's because we (and I use the word loosely) expect them to.

Errr, men still have functioning brains. There is no actual biological reason why they can't remember to do basic things like this.
Socially-condones lack of consideration, however....

Btw I'm not turning this into a DH-bashing thread. Just genuinely curious as to whether other people would send said card upon such a request, rather than just buying it.

To be honest I'd probably buy and not send the card!
But then I'm far crapper at this stuff than my DH, who is really good at birthdays, cards, pressies etc.

I know you're not turning it into a man-bashing thread Bobby. I'm just ranting at the idiots who think that rolling their eyes and saying "men, eh?" is a valid response.

No, YANBU. Your DH knew you weren't back until Sunday night and you told him DSil's birthday was on Sunday.... how else was she supposed to get the card? What did he think the purpose of him buying a card was? So you could come back on Sunday night and give it to her late? In which case you would just have bought the card yourself on Monday!? No mind reading skills required there I'm afraid as you made it perfectly clear when her birthday was.

abrakebabra, why the snidey post - uncalled for much?

If you want her to have a card, yes. Your Dh, along with 95% of other men, does not give a flying fuck about cards on birthdays (apart from possibly his own). Coming to terms with this, and answering the eternal wifely question, 'what should I therefore do about 'his' family's birthdays - is one of the key spousal coming-of-age moments.

Bit unfair AuntLucy

I would have sent the card, yes.

It's not rocket science.

You are somewhere where, I assume, you have access to shops. So you could get a card yourself if you were going to post it yourself. You didn't, you asked him to buy a card. He said fine. You told him that her birthday was on Sunday.

Now, I would have asked myself how the card was to get to her for Sunday, given that you weren't there until Sunday night and given that it needed to be posted, and therefore must be in the postbox by Friday at the latest in order to be delivered on saturday, ready for sunday.

I've just put this situation to my husband for you. At first he said "I'd say oh, can't you just phone her?" When I said no, you've agreed to buy the card, what do you do?"

He looked at me like I was bonkers and said "er. Post it." and gave me this look.

If the card is being posted, why couldn't you do it yourself? Are you staying on that little island that the Dursley's went to to avoid the letters from Hogwarts?

I once asked DH to load the washing machine while I was at work, which he did. He did not add detergent or press start though, apparently because I didn't specify that he had to do it.

I wrote it down to experience and now whenever I ask him to do something I am specific to the point of being patronizing.

YANBU OP, but now you know...

Why is being 7 months pregnant relevant to the thread? It's not. What was the point of including it?

Maybe your DH thought you had a gift you wanted the card to go with or something? Or had made an arrangement for someone else to pass the card on? I don't know. Why assume it's because he's a useless shower of shit. Perhaps your brother's girlfriend's birthday just isn't the first thing on his mind right now?

What has being pregnant got to do with ANY of that?