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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Did I really have to spell it out?!

68 replies

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/03/2012 21:22

Ok to set the scene: I'm away this week with DD while our house gets renovated. Back Sunday evening.

I sent DH a text 2 days ago: 'please get DSiL (DBro's wife) a birthday card, it's her birthday on Sunday'.

Checked with DH today: yes he got a card. But hasn't sent it. Was he meant to?
Is it me being tired & 7 months pg or did I really not have to spell it out to him to write inside the card, address it, stick a stamp on & put it in the post box?

Sigh.

Yes I normally sort out all my side's cards etc but asked DH to do it just this once. And yes I know there are bigger things to worry about

OP posts:

DoMeDon · 16/03/2012 22:11

If I got a text asking me to get a card _ I would do just that.

LilBlondePessimist · 16/03/2012 22:13

DoMeDon - honestly? Even if the text said (as above), can you get a card for X as her birthday is on Sunday, and you knew your OH wouldn't be back until Sunday night? So really, (no snarkiness intended), how would you expect her to get said card in time?

abbierhodes · 16/03/2012 22:13

Abrekebabra, I think we got that

abrakebabra · 16/03/2012 22:15

Oh my goodness.. straight talking to a, a PREGNANT woman!!! My lord.

Yes. So shoot me.

DoMeDon · 16/03/2012 22:16

I might think of that and ask if she wanted it posted but it might not occur to me tbh. I think it is down to the person who wants something doing to say what it is they want doing. If I was busy, mind on other things and asked to get a card, I would get the card and it may/may not occur to me to ask what hte other person wants doing with it.

Original poster

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 16/03/2012 22:17

Yawn. Back to the question then...

OP posts:

LilBlondePessimist · 16/03/2012 22:19

Bit extreme I would think..... tempting though.

cakewench · 16/03/2012 22:56

YABU. At least in our house. As you say that you usually do, we tend to sort out cards for our respective sides of the family. If I'd said to my husband to get a card for my relative's birthday, I'd expect him to purchase a card. If I needed the card signed for me and posted, I'd add that to the request.

Shelby2010 · 16/03/2012 23:15

To be honest, my DH would have bought 3 different cards but not sent any, because he didn't know which one I wanted, didn't know her address and didn't know her address would be in the address book ('What address book?').

If I specified to send a card to be posted Friday at latest, and reminded him where to find address, stamps etc then he would probably have done it. As long as I gave him at least a weeks notice. And told him what type of card. And reminded him daily. And pointed out the postbox at the end of the road. Then of course he would have happily helped. Probably. So OP is being unrealistic if not unreasonable to expect her DH to be more pro-active.

And fwiw, when I was pregnant it was the most important thing in my world and would unconsciously refer to it in pretty much any situation. Especially when at that stage when I wanted people to understand that I wasn't fat I was pregnant!

startail · 16/03/2012 23:40

Yes!
DH sends one Xmas card to an ex girl friend I've never met. That's it all other cards and presents, regardless of side of the family are my dept.
If I want a card or a present I have to give detailed instructions and multiple reminders. Unless it's very geeky, digital picture frames and DAB radios he can cope with.

His saving grace is he is really neat at present wrapping, so he gets lots if that at Christmas and birthdays.

minimisschief · 17/03/2012 00:24

well if you usually do that and you simply said pick a card up then yes yabu. its difficult to read peoples minds and much easier to hear their voice

skybluepearl · 17/03/2012 07:42

I think you have to spell it out sorry.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 17/03/2012 07:55

Your DH is at home dealing with your house renovation whilst you are away not deling with a house renovation and are cross because he didn't post a card . Are there not post boxes where you are?

everlong · 17/03/2012 08:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMightyLois · 17/03/2012 08:27

I bloody hate these threads

BuckBuckMcFate · 17/03/2012 08:36

Abrakebabra are you the SIL?? Don't worry, they've got you a card it'll just be a bit late.

You seem disproportionately wound up by this thread and op being pregnant?

Did you really not have any hormonal moments or tiredness when you were pregnant that made you snappy, weepy or just generally not react how you normally would?

iscream · 17/03/2012 10:09

Well, he did do what you asked him to.
Just give your sil a call on her birthday.

mrspepperpotty · 17/03/2012 15:09

OP, I once bought my DH a card for him to give his mum on mother's day. I gave it to him for him to write, then posted it. Unfortunately he forgot all about it, and thought his mum was being sarcastic when she phoned to thank him. Now I have to add 'remind DH he wrote it' to the process!

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