To be pissed off that DH is obviously staying for drinks after work without telling me.

[Rollergirl1]

DH has been home late every night this week. The kids haven't seen him since Tuesday morning. A couple of nights I think he was genuinely working late. Last night I texted him about 7.30 to ask him what time he would be home as DD was hoping to see him (as she hadn't seen him since Tuesday) and he texted back saying he was at the train station and sorry but he'd been in meetings all afternoon. He didn't get in till about 9.30. It should only take 45 mins to get home once you're on the train. When he got in it was clear he'd been for drinks as he was a bit pissed. I let it go as I couldn't be arsed with an argument.

Today for one reason or another we haven't spoken all day (usually we do). Tonight I text him again at 7.00 saying where are you, what time you think you'll be home as kids asking about him again. I got the reply "With the Fords". I have no idea what that means and he hasn't even answered my question. But I assume that he is having drinks again tonight. Now I can't get hold of him, he isn't answering his phone and not responding to texts.

AIBU to be really pissed off with him? I don't mind him going out but I do expect him to give me a bit of notice. If he'd told me at some point during the day that he wasn't going to be home to spend the night with me I would have been prepared. But he didn't and I was expecting him home. And now he isn't. Again.

He does this every once in a while and it always annoys me. As I say I wouldn't mind if he told me today that he had drinks that he'd forgotten about. Even if he told me at 6pm. But it to be nearly 9pm and for me to have no idea where he is and for him to be totally incommunicado is just infuriating. I really wish I had the opportunity to do this kind of thing to him but i can't, as I am always the one with the kids waiting for HIM to come home!

Arrrghhhh. Please tell me, am I being a bit precious or is this kind of thing really annoying? It's not as if we had anything planned. But I do expect to know when he's home so I know whether to eat on my own. It's not even about that, I just want to know!

Also he isn't fantastically well paid either -it was just in response to the OP's point about her DH earning 3x more. (The differential is so great because my job is low-paying). Certainly no sparkly trinkets here :)

:) Inertia did you also read my 10.05 post - i agree with you.

But i am astounded at many women do excuse their partners bad behaviour because of their very important jobs. I know somone in real life like this. She is always complaining about how unhappy she is with her DH never being home, etc etc - but then counters it with a shrug and "but its the industry isnt it" and aren't i lucky ook at my new mulberry bag (im NOT joking!) :( I feel desperately sorry for her actually.

LeQ, you are doing that irritating thing of projecting your own situation onto a thread, and thereby ignoring hers

Op's gripe is that she doesn't get afforded the same chances to be all spontaneous and full'o'fun'n'stuff

Ah, with you now Goawaybob - we are coming from the same place with this I think. Nobody works so hard that they are justified in behaving in a completely inconsiderate and disrespectful manner to their families.

Rollergirl - how are things this morning? Has he apologised?

It's beyond rude. He's not taking his parental/family role seriously. I honestly don't understand how some women stand for it.