BIL and his fiance getting married...on our 1 year anniversary

[WrigglyWorm]

OK - I will start by saying I am delighted my BIL and SIL to be are getting married. I love them both. Just received my our invite. They have chosen a date in November for the London part of their wedding (the legal bit will be abroad) - it has been described by SIL as being a Big White Wedding and will be v exciting. I love weddings. My slight beef is the fact that the date is our wedding anniversary. It will be our first. I don't think I own that date or something, and actually I think its quite sweet its on the same day but they haven't mentioned it. Is that strange?? No "how funny we are getting married on the same day" or "Nov is a great time of year to get married!!" NOTHING. AIBU to think they might have mentioned it??

On a side note, what's this thing people have of making the wedding a huge multi-part event as if it's the Olympics, with the 'legal' part in one place and a do somewhere else on a different day?

We did it because having a civil ceremony at the hotel would have cost hundreds, so we had the legals at a registry office with close friends followed by dinner. Then we had "The Wedding" with a humanist ceremony at the hotel with a big reception etc afterwards. It was purely cost for us, we couldnt justify hundreds of pounds more getting married at the hotel, especially when we couldnt have the ceremony we wanted thanks to the "no religious references at all" rule, which included a certain piece of music we wanted!

I'm with the majority on here. Your wedding anniversary is important to you and your husband, and so it should be, but it is unreasonable to expect other people to remember. In my family we don't celebrate anyone's anniversaries and I don't even send a card to anyone else on their anniversary (I don't even know when they are anyway). Likewise, we don't expect cards from anyone else on our anniversary. OH and I don't even send cards to each other.

The only time we received lots of cards was on our silver wedding anniversary.

I think you need to understand that other people's wedding anniversaries simply don't register and aren't considered important except to the couple themselves. I would just suck it up and enjoy the party.

We went to a friend's wedding on our first anniversary. It was a lovely way to remember our day and remind us of our vows.

Arrggh, I didnt say.....the legals were on one day The WEDDING was on another!

That's MAD eightieschick

When my FIL died, DH went to book funeral etc. He came back and said - 'We could have gone for x y z, I chose Z. Later I mentioned it was our 1oth wedding anniversary. 'Oh I thought it rang a bell'.....
It wasn't that grief had made him forgetful, I'm lucky if I get a card from the corner shop, but hey I knew what he was like before I married him

I don't expect that they have realised the date-and if they have it doesn't matter. I agree with others-your wedding anniversary is only of interest to you. The only time it will be celebrated,or noticed, by others are the big ones, starting at Silver-and that won't matter as they will only be on 24yrs.

Some people get remarkably precious about such minor things.

I got married on my sister's wedding anniversary. I didn't realise until after the date was set because, as others have said, who remembers other people's wedding anniversaries?

She thought it was nice to have something nice to do and a nice hotel to stay in for her anniversary. I'd have been exceptionally surprised if she was annoyed because she's sensible.

Dingbatsfur.... why did it upset you? I really, really don't get it.

I agree and said this earlier - it gives the anniversary couple a nice day out, plus they get the excuse of saying 'well, we'll also book to go out by ourselves another day' so you get 2 celebrations.

yabu

my DB got married a year(well nearly ) later than us,
so his anniverasry is now the day before us.
but then we got married a few months before my BIL
just share the date and enjoy thier day

Thanks for the laugh. everyone! This is the weirdest thread ever. OP, with the best will in the world, YABU - only the minority remember anyone else's wedding dates. Just to add to the crrrazy mix, my partner and I married just over a fortnight ago, and neither of us could remember the precise date just now.

I think it's because my il are one of those families that remember anniversaries. They send cards to us, we send cards to them blah blah. My pil even bought us anniversary presents! It felt like we had been dumped. It was before I had kids though and I have a more rounded perspective now but as someone newly married it really peeved me. Possibly because we put all that time & effort into the actual wedding & it showed they had forgotten it?

Thanks for the laugh. everyone! This is the weirdest thread ever.

Oh dear me, yes. I agree with HardCheese.

OP, you are being SO unreasonable. Why on earth should they have remembered your anniversary?

YABU.

What WAS a bit of a mess was my father arranging my sister's funeral on my other sister's birthday. That was a sad thing to do - it was NOT intentional. My sister that died was 21 and she was killed in a car accident. Everyone was distraught. No one stopped to think about whose birthday was when, when the funeral was arranged.

Someone else's wedding on your anniversary - get over it.

Oh OP you are being daft.

Think how many guests they are having. Should they ask all their guests if their chosen date clashes with anything before booking it? because if they did, they would never be able to book their wedding.

I don't expect anyone except my husband to remember our wedding anniversary.

I find it romantic going to weddings with him as we can hear the vows again and exchange meaningful glances and maybe have a dance (with a 2yo clinging to my leg whilst I yell over the music for my 5 yo to stop climbing on chairs).

Can you imagine? "Oh wait, I know that's the only day the venue is free but it's WrigglyWorm's first wedding anniversary and I expect they'll want to go out for a meal that day. Back to the drawing board!"

Aren't people extraordinary?

Wow. Precious much?

So what?!

I wouldn't have given it a thought. And I wouldn't expect anyone to remember my wedding anniversary and they don't!

Aren't people extraordinary?

Indeed! Especially when they 'own' dates.

You lot are nuts! I never remember or mark any of my friends'/ family's anniversaries. My best friend got married around the time of our 1st anniversary and I wished it had been our actual anniversary, because I thought there would be nothing nicer than going to a wedding on our anniversary. Really don't get why people would get worked up about a date.

My mother remembers our anniversary-most years-no one else. I am bothering about my friends this year because it is a big one-I don't usually and I was bridesmaid.

I find it slightly odd that they wouldn't have remembered the date of the OP's wedding considering it would only have been four months ago. It's also slightly odd that they wouldn't have mentioned anything. But obviously they can get married when they like, and personally I would consider it to be quite sweet if it works out as the same day.

I remember my IL's and that of some friends, as we all share the same date! Don't know anyone else's though, they're not a big deal and imo only of any importance to the couple themselves.