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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let my 3 yo wee in public?

79 replies

BikeRunSki · 16/03/2012 09:15

DS is 3. He has a cold and a UTI, but is well otherwise. He has been potty trained for about a year.
Nursery/preschool is a 5 min walk away and he had a wee before he left.
On way to preschool he said he needed a wee and he couldn't wait til we got there or wait to home. I hustled him into a corner at the end of a row of shops, full of leaves, old coke cans and dumpsters and he had a wee there. We ddn't corss any fences or gates. I thought about standing him in the road gutter, but it is a main road and there is a school across, so it was very busy with cars and school children at 8.30 am. The lady who owns the shop happened to arrive at work during the minute we were there and had a right old go at us shouting "I don't mean to be rude, this is not a public toilet, it's private property, he should have gone before he left home" . She was doing very well at being rude for someone who didn't mean to be! As if DS wasn't humiliated enough, he burst into tears.

Now this shop is a little local supermarket and PO. I am in there most days. I have been doing a lot of eBay selling since Christmas and have posted about 60+ parcels from there in the last few weeks, it is not like I am complete stranger, I am in there most days for odd bits, milk and the PO. I spent a tenner in there yesterday evening! I take her point, but what else was I meant to do? She has 4 DC of her own, I thought she might be a little bit sympathetic. By the time I got home from nursery, both me a the baby (slinged to my chest this whole time) were both in tears too.

WIBU to let DS have a wee in a corner full of old leaves? Or is the sleep deprivation getting to me?

OP posts:
TheMightyLois · 16/03/2012 09:17

If he's been potty trained for a year then he really should be able to wait the 5 mins until he gets to school - does this happen often or is it because of the UTI?

Treblesallround · 16/03/2012 09:17

I don't like people pissing in the street. It makes it smell. YABU.

Original poster
BikeRunSki · 16/03/2012 09:18

It has never happened before. He'd been before we left home.

OP posts:
TheMightyLois · 16/03/2012 09:20

It's a one off, and it sounds like he genuinely couldn't wait. I wouldn't really give it another thought tbh.

Now - if you regularly let your child piss up the side of a bus-stop, that would be a bit different :)

toddlerama · 16/03/2012 09:20

Yabu. If he can't hold it because if the uti, he should be at home near the toilet. What if it had been diarrhoea? Would you have let him just go in the street?

WorraLiberty · 16/03/2012 09:20

I've got 3 boys and if they were caught short, I'd always make sure they went in the gutter or against a tree...but on or outside someone's property.

Sending 60+ parcels in the last few weeks, doesn't make the piss smell any less I'm afraid.

valiumredhead · 16/03/2012 09:21

Well if he was anything like my ds at 3 he couldn't have waited, and a quick discreet wee is preferable to wet pants and trousers. UTI's are awful and so I expect have upset things a bit.

WorraLiberty · 16/03/2012 09:21

Oh fuck, I meant but never on or outside someone's property Blush

FuttBugly · 16/03/2012 09:22

YANBU if he was I'll. But then she's not BU to be annoyed about it.

And just cost you spent a Tenner in a shop does not mean you are now free to piss on the premises wherever you like.....Hmm

bringbacksideburns · 16/03/2012 09:22

YANBU.

starlingsintheslipstream · 16/03/2012 09:24

He's 3 - bless him! YANBU. Mine could never wait.

Mind you, she probably had a point too, but don't dwell on it, forget it.

FuttBugly · 16/03/2012 09:24

ill

Damn autocorrect

janelikesjam · 16/03/2012 09:24

Don't worry too much, he is just 3. It is best to avoid the street, but I had to find a tree occasionally in an emergency when son was small. Sorry your son burst into tears Sad.

Original poster
BikeRunSki · 16/03/2012 09:25

It wasnt outside the property. It was in a little scrubby corner of waste ground at the end of a row, as far away from the shops/houses and road as I could get. there is a gap betyween this and the last shop big enough to get a big delivery lorry in easily. Dogs wee there all the time - including the shop keeper's dog!

OK, so IABU. Shoot me.

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 16/03/2012 09:25

I've done this too......allowing the wee I mean

i think 3 year wee is purer!!! no booze of coffee !

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 16/03/2012 09:26

YANBU - especially as he was unwell. My DD is 3.10 - if she says she needs to wee and we're somewhere with no public loo I ask her if she's desperate or if she can hold on. She's very good at saying whether she can hold and if she says no I hold her out to wee. I try to do it over a drain or onto grass to reduce the risk of it smelling. To be fair as she's got nearer to 4 she has got a lot better at waiting, but when she was just 3 it happened fairly often. I'm honestly not sure what you're meant to if you have a child who, despite being potty trained, is not very good at holding on and there are no public toilets. I think the more judgemental people are ones who have had kids with good bladder control from the start but that isn't my DD.

WandaDoff · 16/03/2012 09:26

Poor wee soul.

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you did, when a 3 yr old has to go, they have to go. Especially when he has a UTI.

Chopstheduck · 16/03/2012 09:27

YANBU, it happens sometimes. I used to try to find a drain usually, so at least it not going to be a puddle somewhere.

Last year 6yo dt1 peed himself in the middle of a very expensive fudge shop in Windsor, with no warning! I was absolutely mortified. Especially as we had no intention of buying overpriced fudge and the kids had only gone in cos the man called them in to give them samples. He was lovely about it tho, clearly adored children.

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 16/03/2012 09:27

No YANBU!! Think no more of it!

callmemrs · 16/03/2012 09:28

If he's got an infection and really needs to wee that frequently and urgently then pre-school is not the place to be. He should be tucked up on the sofa at home with toilet immediately to hand.
If you had to take him with you to drop another child, I can see your dilemma.
I don't think the shop keeper was unreasonable though- pissing in public isn't nice and maybe she get problems with other people using that place as a toilet.
Number of parcels posted is irrelevant!
So YANBU if you were dropping another child off, but neither was shopkeeper

HeidiHole · 16/03/2012 09:31

YANBU

MaryQueenOfSpots · 16/03/2012 09:32

People let their dogs wee everywhere and that's perfectly ok apparently Wink

He's only little and accidents happen. I always find it amazing when people imply that until your child has 100% perfect bladder control then you have to be housebound or keep them in nappies.

toddlerama · 16/03/2012 09:32

Lol at worra only peeing on other peoples property Grin

I can completely understand why in the circumstances you were left with no choice really, but shop lady was quite right to be miffed about it and I don't think she was unreasonable to point out that you shouldn't be doing it there. Sorry you feel bad though, nothing to be done now.

DinahMoHum · 16/03/2012 09:35

i would have let him wee there too. Its only a wee. Not like he took a dump in their doorway

Popoozle · 16/03/2012 09:36

Both you & the shop owner have a valid point. I'm sorry though, I don't see how being a good customer or "not a complete stranger" makes any difference? Spending X amount in a shop does not entitle you to pee outside it does it?

It is a really difficult situation though, if a 3 year old needs to go then they need to go! Especially with a UTI, it may have been painful for him to hold it in (if he could that is). So, on balance, YANBU for finding somewhere discrete for your DS to relieve himself but the shopkeeper INBU for objecting to that somewhere being on her property.