to think we should have a "rape and sexual assault" section on MN?

[CailinDana]

Of the back of the "We Believe You" campaign would it be a good idea to have a section where people could post about rape/sexual assault without fear that they will be questioned? I have noticed quite a few times that when a poster talks about an assault in the relationships section there always tend to be a few numpties who start asking why they went where they did or why they didn't scream and shout. Such responses must be crushing for someone who has just plucked up the courage to talk.

I am thinking such a section would be predicated on the "We Believe You" idea, in that no victim will be grilled and support will always be given. In fact, it could be called "We Believe You." As such it would have to have strict guidelines and be pretty heavily moderated, and as such might be a nightmare to run. Still it might be worth it.

AIBU?

I think that's an excellent idea!

only members can see it though

I think it is a really good idea, I've read posts on here where the OP is just looking for support and understanding, for some this is the first place they have been able to say what happened, and I find it really upsetting to read other posters questioning everything the op said, basically accusing them of over exaggerating.

That is the last thing people need to hear and it is likely to escalate into an argument between members which then takes the focus away from the OP and the serious issue.

Good idea

You'd have to find a way of policing it, though, because such a board would draw some very dodgy characters out.

I second that only members should be able to see it, but if managed right it is a good idea.

That's my worry Chickens. As ariadne says, it would be members only. Apart from that, would there be other ways to keep it safe? Would a specific section only attract trolls and MRAs?

I'd be worried about trolls tbh. And even members only wouldn't really keep it safe, would it? Anyone with any agenda can join mumsnet. I'm not sure how you could ensure it remained a safe place. It would only take one emotional vampire-type troll or nasty bastard replyng to a thread to blow the place apart. I see the need for such a section, but don't know how you could possibly manage it.

It would probably need a dedicated moderator, which I suppose is too much to ask.

I think it sounds good in theory but would attract loons. How awful for the most vulnerable people to have to deal with trolls like that.
Perhaps there could be an ongoing thread in another topic? Somewhere like feminism where the posters can be really scary if they want to and would kick ass if needed.

I emailed MNHQ once and asked about this and they said they had reservations about it because it would be such a massive troll magnet, and I think they have a point. I have belonged to rape/sexual assault forums before and they had to be very, very heavily modded because they were so attractive to trolls. I don't know if MNHQ have the manpower to look individually at every person applying for access to those areas of the site (and I think that would be the only safe way to do it: with people having to specifically ask for access) or to patrol the threads looking for trouble. I also think that rape/sexual assault forums are better if they are administrated by people with experience of those phenomena. I think people who have not experienced them can feel a bit out of their depth sometimes.

Perhaps an ongoing thread would be goo Ilove. One like the Stately Homes thread. They're less likely to be invaded and tend to build up their own "atmosphere" and sense of community, so they're sort of self-policing. What do others think?

good not goo obv :)

I have reservations because so many people find it a massive mental leap to classify what happened to them as rape in the first place. So talking about something they don't like in 'relationships' is perhaps easier than going to a rape section to post.

I honestly think the shitty things people say on here, about rape, are unavoidable, sadly. Some people are trolls and want to upset, some people are ignorant.

That's interesting hopkin and makes a lot of sense. I think done badly it would potentially do more harm than good. But I agree if it can be managed it would be very positive.

I love without raking up old ground every time I see a FWR-bashing thread I just want to link some threads to show the amazing, amazing support that is given to women who post about rape and sexual assault there. But unfortunately it's also one of the most heavily trolled areas of MN too...

That occurred to me too PullUp. I've noticed a few times that posters need encouragement to realise what happened to them.

What about an ongoing thread, so that when someone has talked about it in relationships, they can then join the thread? I would be happy to start it and to try to police it somewhat.

I feel really conflicted about this. Because I see that there is a need, and that some women would welcome the anonymity of the internet and the ability to work through their experiences. But a big part of me thinks that this is better done in RL, in small groups with other people who understand. Because the risk of harm to a vulnerable woman online by a troll seems to me to be too great. I don't actually think that MN has the resources to really support women in this way. It might be a case of biting off more than MN can chew, iyswim?

I totally see what you mean Chickens. I am conflicted too. I find it helpful to talk about these things online but because it's such a sensitive subject the stupid responses some posters give can really upset me, even if I know they're stupid. The reason I think it could be a good thing is that some people don't have the opportunity or ability to take about it in real life.

Chickens, FWIW I cannot talk about it in real life - it's not that I don't have the necessary support network, I just cannot talk about it out loud - so for me, an online place is the best thing. Different approaches suit different people - and I don't think that RL support groups are necessarily inaccessible to RL trolls/emotional vampires.

I'm sure you're right, hopkin. But it is easier for a troll to access an online forum and while away the hours either inventing things, or attacking people, for their own amusement. It takes no courage at all. It's also so much harder to 'read' someone online, iyswim. Perhaps I am being over cautious. I just hate the idea that if there were such a dedicated board, the nasty bastard trolls would be circling like sharks. It happens in WRF all the time.

could get messsy, I dont know .........................

I agree Chicken - my first instinct was to say nooooooo, terrible idea because of that, but equally if it could be made to work it might be really helpful. What about off the beaten track - I'm a relative newbie and don't really know how that works?

wilsonfrickett I actually meant that as a compliment to FMR. On a board that has so many strong, articulate, intelligent woman, no troll could survive!
Sorry if it sounded like a dig.

Can you imagine the vileness it would attract?

I don't see how it could be done

I mod on a forum that deals with with this - in the 8 years I've done it we've never had one troll - more places can only help.