to think that if you dont understand someone because they have a different accent to you, it's just ignorant

[lostboysfallin]

And maybe a little bit stupid
I know some accents are difficult to understand, but fgs try.

They seem to be very easy to get along with because they don't seem to bother much whether what you say is related to what they have said or even to mind if you are obviously not taking much in, just quite companiable, easy-going people

:) at this generalisation

I know. I can tell these people were people I like so if that is Glasgow, Glasgow is great but I would need to actually be immersed in the lingo to make headway with it.

I wonder actually if they found me every bit as difficult to understand? Maybe

I work in a noisey environment and we sometimes have to take down details of incoming planes over the phone. It's a bloody nightmare! They're usually on a mobile, on an airfield and in a hurry, add a strong accent and I have to get them to spell every word.

So OP it's not ignorance. I am trying to make out what's being said so that if they get into trouble we know who to look for, not because we're all having a laugh at their command of english.

i worked with a german lady with a very strong accent. I speak fluent scouse.

she said to me (quite seriously) 'i dont understand a word you say'
i said 'is it because i speak so fast?'
she said ' no, its your accent'

I thought she was ignorant, she could have asked me to slow down or to repeat myself but she chose to be offended by my accent and to tell me about it.

I had troubel understanding her too, but i asked her to show me things, or repeat herself etc. I would never say that her accent was unacceptable to me. I just tired harder to understand what she said.

No one has the divine right to proclaim that thier accent is right and everyone elses is wrong. there should be far more tolerance and understanding.

of course YABU!

Have you tried to talk more slowly and more clearly? :)

it is hard with a foreign language. I know when I thought my German was pretty fluent, I watched a programme on German TV and didn't even recognise the language spoken was German. It was so very different. It was really hard to get my ear around the pronounciation. I also had to go on a trip to Dresden, that general area in East Germany and was supposed to interpret for an Australian but I stopped the car to ask for directions when I arrived and couldn't undrestand what the woman who answered me said. Not at all. I had a major panic thinking how on earth am I going to interpret for him when I cannot understand the local accent.

It can be genuinely quite hard for someone who speaks English well to understand an accent very different to the one learnt. With exposure, you get used to a different accent

YABU some accents are dense and hard to understand.

'I have a friend who is Polish, she is very smart, but she has a very thick accent'

My cleaning lady is Polish with a very thick accent as she comes from near the Russian border. This is compounded by the fact we have to communicate in French, which she speaks very fast and I speak slowly. Frequently, I have to ask her to speak very slowly so that I can understand what it is she is saying/asking. So, I don't always understand her, but that doesn't make me ignorant, just slow at deciphering rapid fire French delivered with a thick accent.

We frequently go out to dinner with non-native English speakers as dh works in a large multinational organisation, and it is difficult to decipher what they are saying at times, not just with accents, but with syntax as well.

I am also on the receiving end of this as my Flemish is appalling, and I get blank looks and then spoken to in English, so the problem of not understanding my Flemish accent/syntax/verbs/vocab is avoided. It's not ignorant not to understand, it can be hard.

My Dad moved from Belfast 40 odd years ago but my Yorkshire DH can't understand him. To me he has the mildest accent- particularly compared to his family who still live there.

Any strong accent is hard to understand, especially over the phone.

Well for this example, its just an English accent and an Aussie one, neither of which are particularly strong.

well I do think your Australian was being unpleasant and just rude to say he ignores you because of your accent. If you have phone conversations with him at work (?), might be best to switch to email. I can understand why you feel upset by him

Honestly? I think you're totally overreacting. Surely his remarks say nothing at all about you and is a reflection of his character.

Sorry if I've missed it but why are you so upset, is there something else involved here? If someone said this to me at work I'd treat it as a joke and just carry on. Are you in the UK or Oz?

YABU. I have a very strong accent, and quite often people don't understand me. I don't mind!

What is annoying, though, is that people can sometimes project a personality onto you because of your accent. I've had a lot of people being stunned that I'm not thick, because that's what they had deduced from my accent.

It wasn't a colleague, it was actually my mil.
Which is why it's a bit hurtful.
Bellend, that's kind of the point I'm making, an accent shouldn't mean anything about you.

Okaay, thanks for that extra info, it certainly puts a totally different complexion on things.

Maybe you'd get more helpful replies if you reposted with the actual situation and a more appropriate title.

What does your DH think about this, has he spoken to his mother about it? How much contact do you have with her, if its minimal could you just grit your teeth and try and ignore her?

Well, YABU for the thread title alone. Are you 12?

I'm not bad at getting heavy accents because I grew up with three- two foreign and very Yorkshire. But some people have processing disorders where it's hard to catch the breaks in between sounds, so it all runs together. Some people just haven't been much exposed to different accents. You just don't know.

I thought Australian TV shows quite a few British series and films so I think it is a bit odd that your MIL says she cannot understand your accent. If you are speaking over the phone, that is generally more difficult than face to face but perhaps she is just being unpleasant. Ask your dh if he found your accent difficult at first

YABU but it depends on the listener. I try to contextualise and think 'what might they be trying to say' but still sometimes it really escapes me. I get a bit flustered when this happens to be honest, as I accept it must seem very rude.

If someone is obviously being obstinant and not trying to work it out then YANBU.

I come from the NE, but trained in Sunderland and I couldn't understand a lot of what was said to me Sometimes an accent just don't 'click' with someone and you can't get your ear tuned into it.

At my local doctor surgery there is one doctors that I cannot understand, I saw him several times, once about a very personal and embarrassing problem but I just can't understand what he says. He has a strong accent and talks very quickly. If I ask him to repeat what he has said, I am always polite and he repeats himself but I often still don't understand.
As bad as I feel about it, I now ask to see another doctor if I am given an appointment with him. I need to be able to communicate with a doctor though so not sure what else to do. Its not because I am stupid or ignorant though.

YABtotallyU

My southern DP struggles massively when we visit family up north. He met the husband of an old friend of mine for the first time a couple of years ago and eventually had to admit to him that he couldn't understand anything he was saying and it wasn't for want of trying. The DH was highly entertained. To be honesst, even I was struggling with his extremely broad accent and I am from the north-east.

I have a very poor ear for accents - I have a postgraduate degree in linguistics from Oxford so hardly ignorant.

YABU. Of course everyone should try but sometimes its hard. I'm really struggling to understand my dads accent on the telephone which is obviously sad and I know he finds it frustrating as he has told me that he often has arguments on the telephone and gets angry with people when they can't understand him.

I have found it is easier to understand him when there is no background noise so I try to telephone him when the children are not around. Ds1 really struggles to understand him which is sad for both of them.

well yes, ignorance does cause people to not understand accents.

if you mean the actual definition of the word ignorant. I.e., lacking knowledge about something through no fault of one's own.

if you mean "ign'rant" in the popular usage of "willfully and stubbornly clinging to stupidity against all odds", then YABU.

Not everyone has English as a first language. Try being a Mandarin speaker, learning English from an American teacher/book/website, and then going to Wales and trying to work out wtaf everyone is saying.

and as others have said, many many people have hearing difficulties.

certain individuals can be v dismissive and rude about accents but i must admit i've never met one irl. and i say this as someone with a markedly different accent to those in my community. MANY people here struggle to understand me and they struggle because they don't know, not because they're trying to be difficult. it's v embarrassing for them too!

It's very ignorant for anyone to not attempt to understand someone because they have a different accent, but if you can't then you can't! I laughed when we went to Scotland on holiday, my 10 year old came back and asked why they didn't speak English in Scotland. When we told him they did, he said "well it doesn't sound like English to me". When he listened closer he could understand most of what people were saying but there were still times when he struggled.