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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if you dont understand someone because they have a different accent to you, it's just ignorant

102 replies

lostboysfallin · 14/03/2012 06:03

And maybe a little bit stupid
I know some accents are difficult to understand, but fgs try.

OP posts:
ToothbrushThief · 14/03/2012 07:31

YABU

I really struggle with any accent. It's embarassing repeating 'I'm sorry I didn't catch that' more than 3 times. I end up smiling and pretending I understood... (when they could be saying my grandmother died.... and I'm nodding with a silly grin on my face.) I do feel like avoiding conversation because I get really stumped and cannot make the conversation work

NaughtyMrChicken · 14/03/2012 07:34

YABU and what Ephiny said

jinsei · 14/03/2012 07:34

Its ignorant to not attempt to understand someone, to try, not to write them off as stupid and therefore unimportant because they don't talk the same as you

If this is what you're saying, yanbu. But what you said in your thread title was BU.

I am used to moving in very cosmopolitan circles, and find it easy to understand most accents, but I have occasionally been caught out. I can think of two instances over the years when I genuinely couldn't understand what people were saying to me, and not for want of trying. On one of those occasions, I was talking to a Filipino; on the other it was a Glaswegian.

JustHecate · 14/03/2012 07:35

"if you write that person off as being stupid because you can't understand them, I think it shows a certain ignorance."

Yes. It does. I agree with you 100%. Anyone who sneers at someone because of their accent and decides they are stupid is a twat.

But that's not what you said.

In either your thread title or your OP.

"If you don't understand someone because they have a different accent to you, it's just ignorant."

Is ridiculous.

Had you said If you tell someone they're stupid because they have an accent ...

Then you would have found very different replies.

and your OP "And maybe a little bit stupid
I know some accents are difficult to understand, but fgs try."

Had you said there what you said later on - then the response to you would have been very different.

The impression you gave by your choice of words is very different from the situation you went on to describe.

It's not just about accent, this communication lark Grin

Cassettetapeandpencil · 14/03/2012 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WitchOfEndor · 14/03/2012 07:36

Speaking as a Glaswegian living in England I believe it's a two-way thing. I have slowed down and lost some of my colloquialisms (sp?) but I also knew that some people weren't really trying to listen and understand. Eventually (when pretty much everyone else could understand me) I stopped repeating myself for them and they did learn to listen to what I was saying. People hear still comment that I haven't lost my accent, little do they know that my Scottish friends tell me I sound really English!

LyssaM · 14/03/2012 07:50

I can't understand a Geordie accent for love nor money. My MIL was a Geordie. It didn't help.

mummytime · 14/03/2012 07:50

Glaswegian isn't bad, it's Aberdonian that is impenetrable, I feel proud when I get a joke in that accent. The next hardest is Geordie. But I do find Parisians who pretend they can't understand you annoying, it's maxing how in rural France they understand (even if they do give you a French lesson).

Bonsoir · 14/03/2012 07:55

No, OP, you are wrong. People need to be educated to different sounds and pronunciation, and this takes a lot of time, exposure and practice. This is one reason why learning MFL (indeed, learning your MT) takes so long.

catus · 14/03/2012 08:01

I think I know what you're trying to say. You didn't word it very well, though.
I am french and living in the UK. My english is very good but I still have an accent. Not very strong but it's always there. Most people don't have a problem with it, but some seem to just switch off as soon as they hear my accent. They don't even seem to try to understand me, they just write it off, it feels like they decided I can't speak english. It is very frustrating.
Another thing I noticed is that sometimes people need a bit of time to get acclimated to the accent, and I think you have to accept this. It happened every time I started a new job, it would take a few days for everyone to get use to it, and then everything would go swimmingly.

frumpet · 14/03/2012 08:02

I used to work in a call centre and i have to say i never had a problem with any accent , but nobody ringing was irate or had reason to complain and the conversation was scripted ( yuk!) so you had an idea about what they were going to say anyway.
One of my most embarassing experiences happened when i was 18 , i was living in London and went to catch a train/tube , i asked the man at the barrier which platform i needed to go to . I had to ask him three times , i actually gave up and wandered off thanking him profusely for his help , probably in the wrong direction. He had a very strong west indian accent , an accent that i hadnt heard at all when growing up and it really stumped me , so rather than admitting that i couldnt for the life of me get what he was saying , i gave up .
I also remember looking after a patient who had had a stroke , the Dr came and told me he thought it had extended because his speech was unintelligable, i was suprised because i had only been with the patient 5 minutes before . Went with Dr to see patient , patient was from a very rural area of Yorkshire and his speech was fine , spent the next few minutes acting as an interpreter between the bloke from up the dales and the Pakistani dr as neither really had a clue what the other was saying !

porcamiseria · 14/03/2012 08:14

bollocks, if you dont understand, you dont understand!

I work for a global firm and we struglle ALOT with international conference calls, factor in a strong accent and a bad line and we are dying!!!!

Shutupanddrive · 14/03/2012 08:26

Yabu, it's not as if people can't understand on purpose! Hmm

Original poster
lostboysfallin · 14/03/2012 08:33

Yes, I think my OP was badly worded, apologies
Its not good to assume everyone knows what you mean.
I purposely kept it short as I just wanted an open discussion, didn't want to give too much away
I don't have a particularly strong accent, just a regular English one. The person who made this comment was Australian, and I believe a little closed minded in other areas(race, homosexuality, etc)
The comment was hurtful and judgmental and i know however hard i had to try to understand someone, i wouldn't be dismissive like that.

I've worked with a lot of different accents over the years, recently I really had to struggle to understand a very strong Portuguese accent from a techie I had to work closely with, I just had to pay more attention!

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 14/03/2012 08:37

YABU Im an neither ignorant or stupid , some accents are hard to recognise my own can be difficult for my english friends and they are not stupid either , sometimes how hard you try and understand an accent , some are a loss to me ,

melika · 14/03/2012 08:39

Er, no, I can understand asian, black and Irish accents, no problem. Because I have grown up with them, but French and Polish are very hard for me to understand, it's not my fault I am not used to them!!!! The other day, (on the phone to my bank, call centre in Scotland!!) I really, really could not understand a word she was saying. Is that my fault????? It's her job to make herself easily understood, after all she is talking to people all over the UK.

YABU!

TheMerchantOfVenom · 14/03/2012 08:39

So you're clearly talking about a twattish individual, using this particular outlet for his/her twattish tendencies.

This is a problem with that person, clearly.

StrandedBear · 14/03/2012 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TubbyDuffs · 14/03/2012 08:43

I live somewhere where most of the population have English as their second or maybe third language, and I talk quickly and therefore do get people misunderstanding me. The onus is on me to make myself understood.

I do struggle with some accents, for example Romanian (one of the mums in my son's class), but I would never not speak to the lady and do try my best to understand her, as she tries her best to make herself understood!

KalSkirata · 14/03/2012 09:06

'Its ignorant to not attempt to understand someone, to try, not to write them off as stupid and therefore unimportant because they don't talk the same as you'

Thats phrased better. I agree with that. I watch ppl ignoring my friend with cerebral palsy because his speech is unclear (very unclear) and dismissing him.

GladysLeap · 14/03/2012 09:19

YABU

I do think that if you are in a customer-facing job especially on the phone you should speak clearly so that people can understand you. It is very frustrating to ring your bank and have to keep saying "I'm sorry can you repeat that?". I find some Scottish accents almost impossible to decipher, and came from an area with a high proportion of Asian doctors, some of whom had such thick accents that you just couldn't follow them.

We moved across country a couple of years ago. I found the first couple of months at work really hard because the accent was grating and poor DH couldn't understand his colleagues at all. 2 years on I'm used to it so when we go 'home' the accent there grates, and Dh can understand what everyone says (and is picking up the local idioms Hmm ). It is far from ignorant, but a question of hearing and comprehension especially when you get older

CharlieMouseWillDoIt · 14/03/2012 09:24

I think sometimes if someone is struggling to understand you, it helps to re-phrase what you're saying, rather than repeating the same thing over and over.

An example... my baby was breech and my waters had broken so had gone to the hospital at 4am. The obstetrician kept saying something which I just couldn't understand. Turned out he was saying it had to be a "fact" that I was in labour and therefore couldn't just do a caesarian there and then without examining me. He had to say it so many times before I caught on... If he'd rephrased it by saying something like "I need to be certain that you are in labour"/"need to be sure you're in labour", I probably would have understood sooner.

ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2012 09:27

I tried to understand the Glaswegians I have met. There have only been 3 so far and I had no idea at all what they what talking about, not the foggiest.

ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2012 09:32

I met one in Greece when I was a student and we went to a couple of islands together. She talked a lot. I really almost never knew what the topic was even. We got on somehow. The next was teaching English in Spain and I met him in a pub in Sevilla and sort of communicated over drinks. I only managed to understand that he taught English to Spanish people and came from Glasgow. I spent a whole evening in his company but that is all I understood. The third sat next to me in a plane from Heathrow to New Zealand. It is a long flight. No idea really what she was talking about.

I did genuinely strive to understand but in the end, I just nod and smile. There is only so many times you can ask someone to repeat things and so on. They seem to be very easy to get along with because they don't seem to bother much whether what you say is related to what they have said or even to mind if you are obviously not taking much in, just quite companiable, easy-going people I thought but really try as I could, I couldn't understand them. It is not always just not bothering or being ignorant.

sozzledchops · 14/03/2012 09:32

I have a strong accent to many people and had problems being understood at times. I do understand it can be hard and I have had problems with some accents myself but travelling all over the world people always made a big effort to understand and communicate, especially when english isn't their mother tongue. The biggest problem I had was when I moved to the south of England, some people really just do turn off without making an effort and I took some of it as a sort arrogance that they are so used to their accent being the preferred, accepted and most heard one compared to this foreign rougher sounding one. Not everyone of course but it was there.

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