AIBU in thinking cuddly toys shouldn't have huge bollocks?

[TiggyD]

I found what I thought was a cow in the nursery I was working in the other day. Except when I looked at the huge dangly pink thing under the stern of it there were no teats, just scrotum. Now I understand that testicles are nothing to be ashamed of. Churchill had them, Brunel had them, even Hitler had one, but I don't think they're appropriate on a cuddly children's toy. Yes, there was a cuddly cow that had udders which are basically four pronged boobies, but that's different. It was also the size of them. Bulls do have balls down to their knees, but if you're making a child's toy you could at least scale them down a bit.
AIBU?

bloody hell, tiggy, they're some big bollocks!

why? I mean - why? I know, let's make a nice cuddly toy with MASSIVE nads. That'll be all cute and cuddly [boggle]

What's really bothering me about the cuddly nutsack is that the rest of the toy seems cutely chunky and truncated. But the scrote is anatomically accurate in a way that's totally out of keeping with the overall design.

Surely a bull ballbag that was in keeping with the rest of the toy should be unrealistically fluffy, oversized and round?

If I had a toy company I would either make toys sans bollocks or I'd make them with realistic bollocks. I wouldn't make them with balls twice the size. Imagine if a real bull were to see that toy. He'd get a complex about his body image. He'd start sending off for those weird offers you get through the internet. "Why can't I trip over my own gonads?" he'll say to himself. "All the cows will laugh at me!". Or maybe it's already happened and that's why farmers use artificial insemination? (Though I think that's just down to farmers being kinky).

But Tiggy, the toy bull has chunky, cuddly legs and a chunky, cuddly body. He should have chunky, cuddly balls as well if he's going to have balls at all. It's a design thing.

Yy Maryz. He needs at least a bit of Elastoplast on the bottom of his nutsack, to prevent random injuries while grazing.

Wow that's a frightening pic, a bit like a wall of cuddly boy cow toy flesh. Almost an extra leg!

I would suggest velcro bollocks so you could castrate him in an instant to avoid questions with nursery children, but 'reinstate' him for biology lessons

No Maryz, he has no penis.

Or at least he wasn't showing it when I was taking pictures. Maybe I need to find a 'fluffer'?

but then I see a flaw in my plan, as you may find an innocent child cuddling the separated specimens thinking they were a sweet stuffed plums toy.

mother at collection time "why is my child cuddling bollocks?"

If his balls could be velcro'd on and off they would have to be kept in a locked cupboard for safekeeping. Otherwise the potential for traumatised nursery-aged children doesn't bear thinking about.

'Mr Tiggy! Mr Tiggy! Tarquin said if I didn't let him have a go on the ride-on he'd pull my willy off! He showed me on Mr Scrote the Cow! I don't think my willy comes off! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!'

cross posts

"AIBU to think my PFB's nursery shouldn't be teaching children that testicles are removable?"

My boys need that toy! DS, before he turned 3, famously informed everyone at a community centre creche about our tup's infected testicles that were dragging on the ground...

I felt awful for them as I thought (as Tiggy obv does) that it might put them in an awkward situation, but they were great and there was no hushing of him, or changing the subject. In fact he was able to tell them all about how they identified the infected testicles and why it meant that he couldn't be the Daddy sheep this year .

I do worry what the other children told their parents...

If his balls could be velcro'd on and off they would have to be kept in a locked cupboard for safekeeping

is it true that the British Museum has cabinets containing all the willies the Victorians removed from their classical sculptures - all neatly labelled? You're envisaging something similar for nurseries? If they weren't labelled it would cause great confusion in years to come when Mr Bull(ock) had been destroyed by a mum washing it.

So who wants him for the class toy?

Yuck

That's...interesting.

Tiggy, next time take a picture of the whole toy as well!

I don't think his balls are too big, it's just that his legs are too short. Maybe the less well endowed males of our species could use that excuse "No my willy isn't small, it's just that I have long legs."

I am glad toy manufacturers are being anatomically correct. I remember looking at a Baby Einstein book and seeing a lovely cow with pink udders then the text referring to it as HE.

Oh, bollocking bolloocks, I missed the great Unveiling of the Gonads yesterday! RL can be a real fucker sometimes...

They are impressive.
They are also just wong: too pink, too large, too cuddly.

Mind you, he could be a really, really old bull with a saggy scrotum in need of a jockstrap/ball hammock

My sympathies lie with the poor child person somewhere who had to make those and attach them to the cuddly cow!

Silverlace...pity my dachshund in the snow!