AIBU in thinking cuddly toys shouldn't have huge bollocks?

[TiggyD]

I found what I thought was a cow in the nursery I was working in the other day. Except when I looked at the huge dangly pink thing under the stern of it there were no teats, just scrotum. Now I understand that testicles are nothing to be ashamed of. Churchill had them, Brunel had them, even Hitler had one, but I don't think they're appropriate on a cuddly children's toy. Yes, there was a cuddly cow that had udders which are basically four pronged boobies, but that's different. It was also the size of them. Bulls do have balls down to their knees, but if you're making a child's toy you could at least scale them down a bit.
AIBU?

'Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is on the kitchen wall
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Chopped it off when he was small.
She threw it, into the apple tree
The wind blew it into the deep blue sea
Where the fishes got off their dishes and ate scallops and bollocks for tea'

The version I knew as a kid was slightly different Coldtruth:

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Chopped it off when he was small.
She hid it, in a chestnut tree
The wind blew it out to sea
The fishes, got out their dishes,
And said "Scallops and bollocks for tea"

Lol

Another one marking my place for the 'bollocks unveiling' this evening.......

Marks place

Marks place!

Come onnnnnn!

Btw, seeing as in every version of the song about hitlers balls says his mum chopped one off, did she really?

I presume he was naturally mono-orchid. (my last dachshund was till the visit to the vet).

Time for a limerick while we wait?

There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were different sizes
One was so small
It was no ball at all
While the other won several prizes

Most of the thread had me but this

"Worra I usually take stuffed toys into the locker room in the staff area to photograph their genitals."

did make me .

The pictures are uploaded on my profile. Come and stare in amazement at the largest clackerbag south of Oxford.

OMG I logged in just in time.

Such nadgers. On a cuddly toy. And weirdly elongated as well

are you sure those arent just teatless udders ... does the thing have horns??

You're clutching at udders straws, squeaky. Them's love spuds for sure

They're the right shape for bull bollocks (google bull balls) and yes, he does have horns. Compared with the real things, the toy's happy sack is a bit exaggerated.

Good Lord

I hope the pious newbie doesn't wander in here, Tiggy's pic will give her the vapours.

Actually, you'd better lie low Tigs, not being a mum, etc. She thinks this site is only for Naice Mummies like moi

Wonderful thread.

Until you have seen the unfurled penis of a giant tapir you haven't lived.

MOST impressive.

Oh I'm now inspired to take a photo of Hairy Mclairy, DD's stuffed dog which was given to her by friends who got it as a free gift when they bought a camera in Japan. He has a small set of cuddly stuffed genitalia, but no eyes.

I shall try and work out how the profile picture thing works - I may be some time.

Jesus Fucking Christ do not, repeat, NOT, do a Google Image search for Giant Tapir Penis with Safe Search off

If the pious newbie turns up, would it be wrong to tell her to fuck off?

Oooh Stratters you've changed your name! Suits you.

Now that's a bawbag :)

Ooh, I didn't recognise you Splatters! Hello.

Seconded, Creepy

Don't forget to bleach the eyeballs as well, The Dowager. I consider myself to be a man of the world when it comes to search terms I might randomly google after MN threads but that one was terrible.

Tiggy - is the thread about your date with a lady still about? I fear it was in Chat and may shortly disappear. It really does need moving the Classics you know. I always snigger when I drive past Halfords now