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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think it is too young at 11 to dye hair

24 replies

imnotmymum · 07/03/2012 07:36

I have girls 13,11 and 10 and are all into fashion etc but AIBU to be shocked that girls are dying their hair[usually red] at the age of 11. Some girls in my DD2 have dyed their hair a few times and I just think we should celebrate how they look and think the chemicals must be damaging in future. This said I have dyed my hair in the past [including red, nothing against the colour it lovely] but much older. My girls have not asked to dye their hair but if did would be a resounding no! My DD1 friend got a hair dye as a treat !! OK am I being unreasonable

OP posts:

JaneMare · 07/03/2012 07:45

"It's all that the young can do for the old, but to shock them and keep them up to date" George Bernard Shaw

FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 07/03/2012 07:50

I'd let them use one that washes out in a couple of weeks over the school holidays, but I would say no during school time. Not all of them are damaging to hair, some of them can actually be quite good from what I remember of my teenage hair dying days.

takeonboard · 07/03/2012 07:52

YANBU I think 11 is far too young to dye a girls hair.
I remember desperately wanting to dye my hair and not being allowed until I was 16! And my parents weren't strict at all....

BodaciousTatas · 07/03/2012 07:52

Dd has been using semi permanent dye in a range of shades from red to purple since she was 12. Not for everyone but it just doesn't bother me.

As for her asking me to get her treagus (sp) pierced that'll be a no for a couple more years yet.

Dee03 · 07/03/2012 07:54

I think I started dying my hair at around 13...and have been ever since

Beefwellington · 07/03/2012 07:58

I started colouring my hair from first form or year 7 as it now known, I used hint of tint or the shaders and toners range which came in those sachets, they washed out in about 3 washes. Great fun! Although having brown hair mean it was less noticeable than my blonde friends but black was a big mistake!

DilysPrice · 07/03/2012 07:59

I might let DD do a wash-in wash-out at that age (which most red shades will be). I certainly spent my early teens doing all the shades I could get from Boots.

Hair is dead however - worries about damaging it permanently are unnecessary.

Callisto · 07/03/2012 08:05

Wash-in sachets fine. Permanent colour not fine.

Original poster

imnotmymum · 07/03/2012 08:06

Janemare I am up to date ha ha [thought this might make me sound like I was out the dark ages] just think girls look lovely with their natural colour and having been all the colours of the rainbow I think natural is best. It is just that bright red ... they all look the same !!

OP posts:

Rhubarbgarden · 07/03/2012 08:11

I started bleaching mine at about 12. My mother said 'You've gone mouse. Time for a few 'flashes'' and carted me off to the hairdresser. I've been bleaching it ever since, and I fully expect dd to do the same when she reaches that age, like her mother and grandmother before her, as she has exactly the same hair.

northcountrygirl · 07/03/2012 08:14

I started dying my hair when I went to high school - so I'd be almost 12. It was back in the 80s and I, like most of the other girls, also had a dodgy poodle perm as well.

I've told me 11 yo she cam have highlights when she goes up to high school too. Her Dads not mad keen, but I don't see a problem. We aren't all blessed with hair that deserves celebration!

Original poster

imnotmymum · 07/03/2012 08:16

But without being a spoil sport what will kids have to look forward to at growing up highlights dying hair at 11 etc. seems they will have been there and done that and grown up to quickly.

OP posts:

LST · 07/03/2012 08:26

I started dying my hair at about 12/13. I was a bit of a goth and went from my lovely blonde to black!! I looked like Wednesday from the Adams family, which at the time was my desired look! Now at 21 I have dyed it every colour imaginable and finially after having DS thought I couldn't be arsed any more. Dying my hair was the worst thing I did. Tbh if I had a daughter I wouldn't let them until they were older.

Slartybartfast · 07/03/2012 08:29

dd, 12, wants to dye hers and i wont let her.
i cant find any of those wash in sachets any more, only the more expensive bottles which last for 28 washes. which i relented for my older dd 14. but its a no no for my 12 year old

Slartybartfast · 07/03/2012 08:30

i used to put food colouring on my hair until i eventually bleached it

northcountrygirl · 07/03/2012 08:37

I don't think they are growing up too quickly though - I think compared to how we were brought up in the 80s they are really quite sheltered. I used to go all over from quite a young age really. I had a Saturday job at 13, took part in a bit of underage drinking from about 14, went shopping into town from the age of 10, went off on my bike from about the age of 8.

Our children probably won't do any of these things until they are much, much older. So that's what they've got to look forward to - independence and a little freedom!

covermeup · 07/03/2012 08:41

I used to craze my mum to let me dye my hair from when I was about 11/12. She never let me and by the time I was 'old enough' I wasn't interested anymore! I'm glad she didn't let me from that age tbh as it would just be another thing as a teenager to worry about or compare to other girls.

covermeup · 07/03/2012 08:42

My mum did used to put red food dye in the ends of my hair for red nose day though! I loved it! :)

Mrsjay · 07/03/2012 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjay · 07/03/2012 08:43

I think its too young I guess their parents dont I let dd dye her hair for going back to school after christmas she was 13 was just a wash in out one , I suppose the world has moved on I started dying my hair at 14 I had red highlights , purple hair black and purple hair , not all at once of course , at 11 girls are starting to grow up and establishing who they are and maybe red hair makes them feel good about themselves , It grows out or washes out ,

Mrsjay · 07/03/2012 08:45

Oh and and my daughter has the driest hair even is like straw bless her and the dye added a lovely shine and condition to it

Theas18 · 07/03/2012 08:45

Don't sweat the small stuff....

If it complies with school rules (these are that t should be a "natural shade" so red/back/blonde allowed not green!) then i think it's a battle not worth fighting over.What ever happens it'll grow out eventually.

Reserve the battles for tattoos/piercings and behaviour!

Mrsjay · 07/03/2012 08:46

@ the thought of my poodle perm ,

pissovski · 07/03/2012 08:53

been using hair dyes since i was about 15 (and developed a grey streak!) To begin with I always used Harmony or Shaders sachets (still available in Wilkos!). Don't think my mum was too keen but i just did it when washing my hair and she rolled her eyes when she saw it :o Since my mid 20s I have been using Clairol Nice n Easy, as the grey has got worse :(

Superdrug do good wash in wash out ones in a little bottle for about 99p

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