About to sack CM, but need help

[DuchessofPsmith]

My name changed because, frankly, I'm scared.

We've had her since September to look after our (now) 23-mo DC and are beyond exasperation. She's repeatedly proven that his care, development, even health &safety, is pretty low down her list of priorities. Also, we're recently really cottoning on to just how much she's lied to us, and how skilled she is at it (deflection, elaboration, etc). (examples to follow).

I'm pretty well versed in employment law (anyway, she's on sole trader status) and we're getting alternative care lined up, so I'm not too worried about those fronts. But I am REALLY dreading the confrontation! She has a hair-trigger defensive button: we can't even discuss general things or ask a totally benign question without worrying about her flying off the handle. So we honestly don't know what she's capable of.

So I guess what I need is both moral support and, if you have any, some strategy. Do I have any "big guns" I can pull if need be? For instance, we've paid her to the end of the month (and she also owes us for a day last week), what if she refuses to work any more? Can I grass her up to NCMA or Ofsted, for instance?

Many thanks!

Examples here, if you're still not finished reading...

1. Her first attraction was because she's a qualified instructor in a sport we'd like DC to do. She's said she's taught him some of this, but we've seen no photos, video, and all attempts on our part to come and see him do it have been fobbed off.

1. We didn't know this until it was resolved, but she had been driving our DC (and others) around in a car that had no MOT (or presumably insurance) and was unroadworthy from October til January.

1. She's misrepresented what the day nursery said about his progress and her part in it - She said they were moving him up to the 3+ room because he's so brilliant, and can they start having him 5 mornings a week? Turns out they had told her that he can't even move up to the 2+ room when he turns 2 because, although "academically" he's doing well, socially he's lagging, because of his - exact word they used - sporadic attendance (she's the one who is supposed to bring him, and has changed his time to suit her schedule).

1. Similar lies about what the doctor said. She'd tell us the doctor said he had to stay away from her other children (and the day nursery) for XX days, when (on at least this last occasion, when I actually checked), the doctor had not specified a timescale, just a "symptom scale" which DC had passed.

1. The day journal is sporadically filled out, and she's defended one whole day not having any information at all because my partner had collected DC early. In other words, she waits til the end of the day to fill in everything? Also, any requests to see his development book have also been fobbed off.

1. One of the first things I specified to prospective childminders was "no smoking". She doesn't but she has a live-in partner who does. I'm not sure he doesn't around the children, but I know he's done it in the house, even though she swears blind she doesn't let him. Also, at base, we hadn't known he was a live-in partner when we first interviewed her, and his smoking would have been a deal-breaker.

1. She lets her dogs poo in the garden the children play in. DC has come home with poo on his shoes - I used to think they had the worst luck on their walks to the park, etc, before I twigged.

Isn't the easiest way to simply give her whatever notice she requires without getting into any arguement?

Tell her its not working out and you are giving her her 4 weeks notice. Refuse to get drawn into any arguements. Do you think she will not look after your DC adequately after notice is given?

agree. just poklitely say you are terminating contraxt with XXX weeks notice, as its not working out

thats it NO MORE

then if she gets nasty, say that if she even dreams of fucking you about you will mention above issues to Ofsted

be calm, firm and professional

My ec CM was a scary cow too! But you will feel much better

and dont get too stressed over a few days extra here or there, really its just not worth it

I once got into such a fluster paying ex CM I dropped a fiver on her floor (she never gave back) and ended up using her her for 2 more weeks than I wanted/ c'est la vie

Because I honestly don't trust her not to throw a strop and refuse to work any more for the time we have paid her. And, yes, I really do wonder if she's going to pull any more stunts.

As a CM you don't employ her, so technically cannot sack her.

You can give notice as stated in your contract - most CMs have a 4 week notice period for which they should be paid. HOWEVER for me (and I'm a CM) the deal breaker would be the car and dog poo issue, the other things not so much.

I would suggest that you give notice with immediate effect, as you've paid until the end of the month that should cover the four weeks. If she refuses to take your children for those four weeks, Ofsted won't be interested as it's a contract issue and they don't get involved in those. NCMA are unlikely to be interested as you are the parent

IOfsted may be interested in the car as if she is using it for work purposes it would have been a requirement for her to have the appropriate MOT and insurance in place. The dog poo in a play area should be covered by a risk assessment, which again they may be interested in as it is a welfare issue. No-one should be smoking in the premises whilst children are present, but I would imagine that is harder to prove.

So I can snitch her out to Ofsted? What would they do?

If she has a live in partner has he been CRB checked? If not you could use that as a means of withdrawing without paying notice (which I assume is what you want to do).

If you are happy to pay notice then I wouldn't enter into a debate. I would report her to Ofsted re the car and partner (if not CRB checked). I also wouldn't keep my dc there whilst serving notice if you are so unhappy.

Completing the day journal at the end of the day is perfectly normal (at least that is what my vg CM did).

I would also just give her notice and not take dc there anymore. paying double for a while would be absolutely worth the better care.

If you give the notice agreed in your contract she is obliged to work it. If she doesn't then you can take legal advice but Ofsted won't get invoved in payment disputes, their concern is only with the health, safety and happiness of the child.

If she is that unreasonable why do you trust her with your child?

You cannot sack her, she is self employed.

If you are so worried about her temper take your dcs out of her care - never mind working out her notice.

Doesn't have to be confrontation - just hand in your notice and if and when she queries it , have a conversation with her.

Give notice asap. Pay anything outstanding and hopefully you'll be able to leave it at that.

They could turn up and do a no-notice inspection.

They could contact her and let her know there has been a complaint made against her to them.

They could log the complaint and leave it at that.

They could do nothing.

Equally, if they get in touch with her, she could say it's all lies and that you're just trying to get out of the contract. There's nothing to stop her going and cleaning all the poo out of the garden. She may have already declared to them that her partner is living there (Ofsted would have to have CRBd any over 16s living in the house) so that wouldn't be an issue and she could say he smokes in a part of the house that isn't registered, or in the garden out of working hours.

When I was working, sometimes I waited until the end of the day to fill in the diary as there just wasn't a good time in the day to do it (to be fair to your CM) but you should be able to go in and see his Learning Journey with observations etc in at any time. Under the Data Protection Act you have the right to see any information she holds on you and your son, and in the Learning Journey should be records of what he's done with her in relation to the EYFS so she can prove that she's done the sporting activities etc with him

Ultimately, if you don't trust her, then IMO even if she is willing to work until the end of the paid period I wouldn't be happy to send my children to her. Even if finding alternative childcare is the biggest inconvenience in the world it would be better than another three or four weeks wondering what else is going on.

sorry -OP- my mind is boggling on several scores

1. you let her take your child to the doctor? that is a parents job
2. she is not taking him to nursery
3. she was driving uninsured for months
4. the garden is a health risk
5. you dont trust her
6. YOU ARE STILL TAKING HIM?

I was in a similar situation my self with a nursery. I collected DD early, to find her in the garden, sunburned and eating dirt.

She simply never went back- why would she?

give the woman notice- today- if you are up to it, raise the issues and argue re fees and notice- if you are not, swallow the cost- take some leave or something.

Have you already reported her for driving with no MOT?

She's not always like that, or at least we haven't seen too much of it. There have been good times as well as bad.

But it feels like she realises now that the lies are coming unravelled, so whilst she had so far been behaving "reasonably", I really do wonder what she's going to do when she perceives she's challenged.

Just politely give her 4 weeks notice.
I usually fill in the daily journal at the end of the day when I have 10 minutes spare when people are eating. the rest of the day I'm looing after children!.
I presume partner is CRB checked, and TBH, why would she go into the inas and outs of who lives there? presumably he's out for most of the day?
The dog poo, shouldn't happen, but accidents occur, she might not have noticed it.
I think you're looking to "get her into trouble" when the best thing to do is just leave n reasonable terms.

How did you know her car had no MOT?

Agree with others. Give her her notice politely and without discussion, or keep it vague- 'it's not working out', 'my circumstances/requirements have changed' etc. If you feel compelled to report her, maybe do it afterwards, don't get into an arguement and threaten her with it- and IF an arguement really does ensue, you really won't want to send your child to her during the notice period at all.

If believe your child's care really will be affected by your decision, or is already way below what you expect, then don't send him to her. Sounds like you've paid any notice already? I know it's easier said than done, but surely a double childcare bill for one month will be worth it for your peace of mind?

Good luck with it all.

Thanks for all this, guys.

Moogster she told us, but only when we noticed the car was at the shop, finally getting up to roadworthy standards.

Did she tell you it was getting up to roadworthy standard or did you assume that?

You don't trust her and with good reason (the lies and the car and the dog poo).I think once the trust has gone then no chiildcare arrangement will work.If I were you I would get your son alternative childcare ASAP (the nursery?), check your contract for the notice period and then hand your notice in. If you can, then pull your son from there immediatley and put up with a double childcare bill for a month. If you need to use the childminders whilst you sort something else out then just make an excuse for why you are moving your son. It's really not worth rocking the boat for the sake of a few weeks money. I have removed my children from two sets of childcare so I know it can be difficult but you must remember you are the customer

Valium (love the name, btw): I think it's roadworthy now because it has its MOT now. But, yeah, that raises a whole 'nother question.

Are you sure it wasn't just in there for its normal MOT though? What makes you think it didn't have one and was unroadworthy?

Because she did finally say it hadn't been, nearly after the fact. She didn't seem to think it was that big a deal - the main element of it we heard from her about was how much money it was going to cost her, that she was thinking about selling it, etc.

This speaks to another thing. She's really bad with things, disorganised, etc, but our main concern is that she has her priorities elsewhere. At the time that she was fretting over £1-2,000 of work to her car or getting another one, she was also buying land and buildings for her sideline business. I didn't want to load up my already-too-long OP with that, but that's underlying a lot of the care issues. My DC's involvement in the sport (can't say what it is, that'd REALLY out me) seems to consist of helping her out - I hear about that all the time, but not him actually doing the "end user" parts. TBH, I love the idea of him learning how to work and help out, etc, but that's not the all of why we want him there.

I'm rather intrigued as to what the sport is that you are hoping she will be doing with your 23month old DC? .