to think "no actually, the stress of stopping smoking won't be worse for your unborn baby than you smoking"

[UphillBothWays]

I'm fed up with hearing this as an excuse for continuing to smoke in pregnancy! I've heard people say this in real life, on TV, and now Stacey Solomon is claiming her doctor OK'd her smoking too.

Yes, quitting smoking is hard, but don't claim it's better for your baby to be exposed to carbon monoxide, cyanide and nicotine fgs.

I would have a lot more sympathy if they said "I know it's awful and I'm trying my hardest to stop but I'm struggling and have slipped up"

woop my midwife told me that too, she said that in certain circumstances, a cigarette would be less harmful than the stress it helps alleviate. Not that it was ok to continue smoking in pg, but in times of immense stress cortisol is released which can be harmful to long term development of a child too. If the cigarette reduces the immediate stress it reduces the cortisone levels. Not talking about stress of quitting. More the stresses that go with bereavement etc. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but certainly some medical professionals give te advice SS was given, or versions of it.

Not that I would ever ever tell that to anyone I know who smokes and is trying for a baby/pregnant. That would be the perfect excuse they would be looking for 'oh i am feeling stressed'

YANBU!

Some people find it stupidly hard to stop however. I was pretty lucky and stopped smoking when i found out i was pregnant (no word of a lie)

granted, i get cravings if i smell people light up but ive not touched a fag since spring 2011.

maybe it depends how much of an addictive personality you have?

its still bullshit to claim its better to carry on rather than stop cos of the stress

EirikurNoromaour - Have you ever quit smoking after years? People say it's a hard thing to withdraw from because it feels bloody hard. You can focus on the facts all you like but when some are in the situation it feels like the hardest thing ever, with or without support.

Ss is one of the more stupid individuals out there. She gave her Bulldog away when she was no longer a "cute lil pup" so let's hope that the baby stays "cute"

why do you think psychological = easy though?

I did the Alan Carr Easyway smoking cessation course. At one of the refresher courses there was a pregnant lady. She was an emotional wreck, because she was trying so hard to give up, but just couldn't!
She couldn't sleep due to the guilt...she was a mess.
She felt dreadful, it wasn't that she didn't give a shit about her baby, but she simply found stopping smoking beyond her.
I stop smoking with every pregnancy for a year or two-I am really determined that I am never going back on the smokes this time. But I would never judge someone who keeps smoking.
It is really fucking hard to stop! I drink two cans of coke zero a day. Shoot me.

YADNBU.

However

When I was pregnant with DD2, and going through an exceptionally difficult time with life, I was told exactly this by my GP. I was only smoking 2-3 a day and I did give up, but I was told this.

*Stopping smoking can cause huge stress and physical symptoms though, so I can see why people try to make that argument.

But at a fundamental level - do we have the right to judge? And if we do, are we just seeing the woman as an incubator for the baby? Do we have the right to judge her if she eats non-organic food or has a drink with aspartame?*

Firstly, stopping smoking is not that physically stressful. The stress levels of wanting a fag and not having one is not as bad for your baby as filling your bloodstream (and placenta) with toxins.

Secondly, people DO judge mothers who put their own desires before the health of their baby. I do and I make no apologies for it.

Thirdly, 9 out of 10 cot deaths were babies of mothers who smoked.

No excuses. None.

Yes I have, 3 times. Once after 6 years, once after 9 years and permanently after 12 years (the hardest in theory as no pregnancy to spur me on)

It is hard psychologically

It is not hard on the body. It just isn't. There are no risky or unpleasant effects from nicotine withdrawal. The stress is all in the mind. Not to say it's not real, but it is not physical.

AlOuise totally agree she's unbelievably thick.

That;s interesting as I know a non smoker who had a cot death (not saying that disproves the stats at all, do believe they're true)

Does make you wonder what the other causes are though...

i think it is utter bullshit saying a mother doesnt care for their child if they cannot give up. Whenever said that well good for you that you managed it with no patches etc. Not everyone is the same and some peoples pregnancies are more stressful than others.

If they tried/trying they are not bad people.

Stealth, that is my opinion. I'm an Allen Carr zealot and I fully believe that as soon as you find the key that makes smoking less desirable than non smoking, the psychological stress goes away. For me, protecting my baby was a strong enough motivator to remove the desirability of smoking so it was easy.

There are various factors which have a proven link with cot death- overheating, the baby having some underlying viral infection... And Having a parent (father not just mother) who is a smoker, whether that parent smokes in the same room as the baby or not.

You'd think that link would be enough to get any parent to give up

Do the pitchfork brigade really believe all they read in a tabloid? Really? Is this as far as education has permeated? Reading celeb tattle and believing it all and posting about it just to give a woman a slapping?

Sometimes, I am really ashamed to be a woman. And no, Bellstar, AIBU a couple of years ago was a hell of alot better with posters posting about themselves and their own AIBU situations... not this, judgemental crap from inadequate people who are so insecure that they need to put another woman down. But you go ahead knock yourself out if it's your pleasure to do that.

oh iswym

that was to Eirik btw - I get that she is saying it's just psychological, not that that's not bad, but that it doesn't translate to bad for the baby

I certainly don't believe everything I read in a tabloid. I don't think many people do unless they're really dim

But I am also sure even a tabloid won't actually completely make up the fact that someone is smoking. I can't begin to understand why anyone reads the Daily Fail. But neither can I begin to understand why a pregnant woman, already a parent , smokes.

But psychological stress can surely have an effect physically? My anxiety is all in my mind but has a big effect physically.

Sorry, was away having my tea, I had a smoking coat that was kept in the shed, also was obsessed with hand sanitizer. My parents both smoked inside their house and were told we would not be visiting unless they started smoking outside and de nicotined their house. They haven't smoked inside since.

A smoking coat in the shed?! Not sure what that's got to do with anything! You breathe the toxins in!

Domestic- yes it can in extreme cases. Anxiety such as you describe in yourself is really unusual. In most cases it doesn't cause physical effects.

I tended to smoke while DD was napping and wouldn't need to be picked up for a while.

FSID says 30% of cot deaths are avoidable due to smoking. Hardly 9/10, which was from a study done by Bristol University.

Still, 30% is 30% which could, and should be avoided.

Although I still think it's entirely plausible that she has been told this by her GP

I was told by doctors in both of my pregnancies that as long as I smoke less than 5 cigarettes a day it'll be ok.

That would be by two leading gyn-obs, one in New York, one in Paris.

Right or wrong, this advice is still being given.

Btw, do you all get so judgy when you see an obese pg woman exiting McDonald's? Do you post about it on MN?