to give my toddler cake, chocolate sweets etc

[dappply]

My husband has just said he thinks i give my toddler too much sugary stuff and that he's not sure he should get it at all. I want to double check myself to make sure he hasn't got a point.

DS is nearly three. His diet i think is really good, for instance yesterday he had

breakfast - branflakes with raisins and sunflower seeds, natrual yoghurt and chopped up pear and blueberries. Diluted orange juice and water.

mid morning - couple of oat cakes, grapes and strawberries.

lunch - bowl of homemade lentil and veg soup, grated carrot, courgette, cheese on a piece of wholemeal toast.

dinner - courgette, pepper, onion and mushroom omlette with cheese and bread and butter. raspberries and natural yoghurt.

and that's pretty normal really.

this week treat wise he had a chuppa chup lolly last sunday, a quarter of a twix on wednesday, a chocolate biscuit at playgroup of friday and a quarter of a cupcake and a chuppa chup today. DH thinks this is too much sweet stuff in a week.

My attitude was that i didn't want to refuse him sweet stuff as a rule, so as not to make it forbidden fruit, just to make sure when he does have it that it's not much, and that it's after meals. and to make sure he's not getting loads of hidden sugar in his diet, like in cereal and stuff, and to homemake the vast majority of things.

Am i being unreasonable? i can't find any guidelines anywhere

cake mixture, i don't think i'm trying to hard or stealth boasting. I'm just eating the way I've always eaten and asking a genuine question.

Don't understand why you think it's alot if you spend that every fortnight? So £230 ish a month on food is alot? about £60 a week for three? (that includes cleaning stuff, loo roll, washing powder, beer and wine for DH). Crikey.

will look into the fibre thing thanks! i buy brown rice, brown bread, but he also has white pasta, potatoes, cous cous, white rice in rissoto. i suppose there's lots of fibre in fruit and veg too, which he eats loads of. Although to be honext it doesn't seem to fill him up too much. He had muesli, fruit and yoghurt for breakfast with me this morning, then demanded some of his daddy's bacon and sausage roll an hour later.

You are spending over £200 a month on food for two adults and a toddler . Yes, that is a lot!

Sounds fine but substitute cake for lollies (cake contains eggs! And lollies are just sugar and a choking hazard and teeth totters.) bran flakes too high fibre, your other breakfast stuff sounds nice. Great diet, well done, I aspire to get my 14 mo to eat like that.

DS eats the same amount i do most of the time, sometimes more sometimes less. So it's for three really. I personally don't think that £20 a week each for 21 meals and snacks and all household stuff and alchohol is alot. But kudos to those that do it for less!

You could also make fruit pancakes with cream if you want to give him something sweet?

Sorry - I thought you said £150 a week! do ignore me
On reflection I do spend a lot less than I actually said -more line £60 a week total

You may not think it's stealth boasting but it does come across that way (sorry)
Ditch the branflakes altogether though - they are not for children

£60 a week is still ridiculous for a family of 3! I spend about that a month

60 a week is not a lot. You spend according to your means but to say 60 a week is too much is not the case

Puds - out of interest do you buy much meat or fresh fruit and vegetables? I don't think I could manage to spend only £60 a month for DS, DH and me.

60quid a week is quite easy - if you buy good meat, or just particular cuts, expensive fruit (raspberries etc.). You can have chicken as Frozen chicken legs or fresh breast, the same with fresh good quality vegetables vs frozen vegetables. Strong interesting cheese vs mild tasteless cheese. There's no real nutritional difference (there obviously is some, but none that matters) so it's purely your choice.

I'm sure everyone could spend less - we spend 50 a week on 2 adults and a 8.5mo (no special baby food) but could certainly spend a lot less and have just as a nutritious diet, it just wouldn't be the things we enjoy.

Certainly nothing wrong with a bit of cake or chocolate for a baby - or anyone else, bad diets are not bits of cake or chocolate.

wasn't really intending for this to be an aibu to spend £60 ish quid a week on food, i'm comfortable with that, we can afford it and i do make an effort to buy locally, healthily, ethically and environmentally, which is always gonna be a bit more expensive. But i'm comfortable with that. i'd rather spend that extra £20 a week on that than on an expensive car, sky tv or something else. but that's my call. not a judgement on anyone else. we've all different prioritoes.

thanks to all, especially those that have supported and complimented me that i haven't replied to personally. you're very nice, ta! x

Puds you're either a genuis, eat virtually nothing or eat nothing but noodles

Blimey, it looks like a tasty menu but that would be WAY too much fibre for me or DD. We would literally be on the loo all day! However, if your DS is not he is probably very healthy and happy. I am a fan of a very balanced diet and I actually think it is healthier to include small amounts of sugary treats occasionally rather than create this great big "thing" around them. I always think that if you have basically very healthy food in the house and just the odd induldgent treat then your DC will be fine. Obviously teeth brushing is important too. I have hideously filled teeth and was determined that DD would have no fillings which, thankfully, so far she doesn't!

YANBU and I don't think it's an unrealistic diet on OP's budget. DD has similar and we spend about the same. We also get fruit at the market which is much cheaper than most supermarkets most of the time.

DD does have a few more biscuits thrown in though

Oh but agree that the lollies are crap - sounds like he'd probably enjoy a cake etc. just as much!

Op, his diet sounds fine ( so does your shopping list and budget) but what worries me is if he has a quarter of a cake/quarter of a twix...... Then who eats the rest!??

you don't have to defend yourself dapply... the posters jumping in to tut at you/accuse you of boasting/or gang up together with a cliched bitchy eye roll are just being a little bit mean.

£60 a week is not a lot. I spend about £80 and the DCs sometimes have school dinners on top of that. What your DS eats sounds ideal. Lots of raw veg/fruit and seeds etc is a great thing.

I think your DH is BU - denying children is the best way to make them desperate for something. Stick to what you're doing and tell your DH to lighten up a bit

ta you lot, that's nice to hear

He seems to be OK on it fibre wise, has a poo pretty much the same time everyday happily and easily and it always looks like a fine poo to me.

yeah he loves cake. when he goes to his gran's (DH's mum) she makes amazing cakes for him. when he comes back he won't stop going on about cake. i think i'm a bit of a dissapointment to him in the cake department.

the twix was split between me DH and DS, not quite evenly the cupcake split between DS, his friend, me and my friend. YUM!

You split one cupcake between 4?? YABU.

Yeah, that's a fair point! And I'm 7months pregnant! ( deliberately omits the bar if dairy milk and mini magnum ice cream that have been scoffed today ahem)

Dude honest to god, if I could even get my 10yo to eat as well as that, let alone the toddler who seems to think chocolate coins are what 5-a-day is measured in, I'd be bragging all over the internet. I don't think a couple of lollies will kill him. I know they're supposed to be terrible for teeth but when I was a kid we had them all the time and I've got no fillings now, so it's more whether you look after your teeth in general I think. I personally wouldn't give high-fibre cereals to an under-5 but you know, if he's healthy then it's obviously not doing him any harm. Tell your husband that when he's the one doing the childcare he can collapse under the strain and feed the toddler mars bars all day restrict sweets as much as he likes but you don't see the point.

I wonder if because I've also fed him brown bread, fruit, veg and majority while grain, and tbh he's also eaten like a horse, whether he's used to it and it's not a problem for him. I can't stand white bread, not sure I can bring myself to buy it for him ( unless it's a fresh French stick or a buttery crumpet) ?

Cheers dude! X

What are you all thinking the problem
Fibre is? The bran flakes? Or the fruit and veg? Or the brown bread?

If he's eating a healthy diet then the odd sweet treat shouldn't matter. I didn't realise no high fibre also applied to toddlers, so I will stop giving then to DD. She always wants some of mine when I have them.

With sweet things frequency is key. 1 chocolate button every day is worse than 20 on a Saturday eaten all at once.

DD loves the yoghurt covered raisins/raspberries/whatever berries. I try not to give them to her too often, but then I'm very PFB and a little bit neurotic.

Of course I'm not a nutritionist.