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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to take my grandma out for mothers day

76 replies

TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 14:56

I probably Abu and its very trivial really...

Today my mum informed me that she had booked her holiday over mother's day so I would have to take my grandma out for lunch.

Now I love my grandma I really do and any other time I would take her out willingly but;

It's my very first mother's day as a mum. We have been having a few problems with DD health recently and DH and I were looking forward to spending the traditional mothering Sunday lunch time together as a new family as a time to be together and relax.

I also think its rather off of my mum to be guliting me into this as it was her choice/fault for booking her hols over mother's day.

AIBU to not want to do this? I am aren't I?

OP posts:
PopcornMouseInBoots · 02/03/2012 14:57

Nooo YANBU at all. Your DM should take her out the week before her holiday instead instead of skiving :o

Sparklingbrook · 02/03/2012 14:57

I think your Mum IBU. She can't tell you what to do.

Kikithecat · 02/03/2012 14:58

How about telling your gran you want to treat her to lunch but on a different day? She'll probably understand you want to be looked after yourself on your first Mother's Day.

fedupofnamechanging · 02/03/2012 15:01

Tell your mum that you already have plans and so she will have to take her own mother out for lunch. And to ask you in future, before deciding what you will do with your time.

Agree that you should maybe see your gran on another day though.

Sparklingbrook · 02/03/2012 15:03

Actually Teacup does your Grandma even want to go out for lunch? I hate going out for lunch on Mother's Day, everywhere is heaving.

carabos · 02/03/2012 15:04

Your grandmother is not your mother, therefore you have no obligation to her on Mothers Day.

senua · 02/03/2012 15:08

Now this is a tricky one. You are supposed to treat you mum on Mothering Sunday so, if the treat she asks for is 'babysit gran', then what's a girl to do ...

Original poster
TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:10

You would think I could just say "no" to my mum but she is an expert in laying on the guilt. She is right about one thin though, I wouldn't want my grandma to feel hurt at being left on her own.

Sparklingbrook....good point. No idea can't really find out without suggesting the idea though.

DH thinks my mum is being very rude but thinks we probably should take her out if it means she won't feel hurt.

OP posts:
Original poster
TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:11

Sensual....I think that was what my mum was thinking!

OP posts:
Original poster
TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:11

Oops my iPad added the 'l' to the end of sensua!

OP posts:
senua · 02/03/2012 15:13

Erm, how did senua become sensual !?Shock
Is it you or autocorrect with the perverted mind?Grin

GrahamTribe · 02/03/2012 15:13

Your mother's rude and pushy but in your shoes I'd relish the opportunity to spend time with my Grandmother so would agree willingly. Mothers Day to and with a 0-1 year old will be the same as any other day, your DC won't appreciate it. Grandma will though.

senua · 02/03/2012 15:16

No, no, no Graham

This is her chance to train up her DH DC in the correct manner of Mothering Sundays for the next fifty-odd years!

GrahamTribe · 02/03/2012 15:21

God willing her DC will be there for the next 50 years. Grandma, sadly, probably won't.

Sparklingbrook · 02/03/2012 15:22

Anyway it's Mother's Day, not Grandmother's Day isn't it?

Original poster
TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:23

Now I feel really guilty!

OP posts:
NoMoreMarbles · 02/03/2012 15:27

i dont think YABU at all! my mum would prob do this too (although her mum is not with us any longerSad) but i have long since stopped paying much attention to the guilt trips...

would it not be feasible for your grandma to come to your house for mothers day lunch? that way your DH can treat both you and your GM and you can lay it on thick about your mum sunning it up leaving GM behindWink plus your GM could spend some quality time with you and your new baby (congrats!!) and you still get to put your feet upSmile

Original poster
TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:32

I looks like ianbu to feel the my mum is rude
Ianbu in not really wanting to do this but

I will end up taking grandma out/having her here as I really don't want her to feel alone.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 02/03/2012 15:34

Well presumably you'd have been taking your mum out on mother's day anyway? Being as she is your mother.

blushingcrow · 02/03/2012 15:37

If shes all alone I would invite her to yours for lunch .

Poor Grandma Sad

valiumredhead · 02/03/2012 15:39

Take your grandma out or invite her to your place, you say you want to spend time with your family, well she is your family too, she'd probably be delighted to spend the day with her great grand child. I wish I had spent more time with my gran Sad

Original poster
TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:40

Well no actually. I knew she was thinking of going away then as she had asked us if we could dogsit around then and she has three other children who I was hoping would take charge for once if she were here.

Now I feel guilty for not intending to take my mum out! I can't win can I?

OP posts:
fluffiphlox · 02/03/2012 15:40

Don't set foot in a restaurant on Mothers' Day. It is hell on earth.

Original poster
TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:42

I do see her a lot. In fact will be off round there shortly. We have a rage family and see each other often. With all our stress lately I just relished a bit of time with just DH and DD.

OP posts:
trikken · 02/03/2012 15:43

my mother is the same and I would probably go out of guilt, not that is the right thing to do but if I didnt I wouldnt enjoy the day anyway for feeling guilty so itd b a lose lose situation but if u go at least u know your gran will be happy.

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