Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To not want to take my grandma out for mothers day

76 replies

TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 14:56

I probably Abu and its very trivial really...

Today my mum informed me that she had booked her holiday over mother's day so I would have to take my grandma out for lunch.

Now I love my grandma I really do and any other time I would take her out willingly but;

It's my very first mother's day as a mum. We have been having a few problems with DD health recently and DH and I were looking forward to spending the traditional mothering Sunday lunch time together as a new family as a time to be together and relax.

I also think its rather off of my mum to be guliting me into this as it was her choice/fault for booking her hols over mother's day.

AIBU to not want to do this? I am aren't I?

OP posts:

Original poster

TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 15:44

Large not rage...bloody autocorrect!

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 02/03/2012 15:47

But presumably normally you or your siblings would have done.

Anyhow...welcome to the dubious joys of mothering Sunday! It's always the same every year. Last year we had mum, my elderly auntie and MIL on Mothering Sunday. it was lovely as it happens but far from restful

valiumredhead · 02/03/2012 15:51

I don't get Mothers' day angst in the same way I don't get angst about Christmas presents not being specifically what I wanted... I must be missing the 'angst' gene

NoMoreMarbles · 02/03/2012 15:51

i dont take my mum out on mothers day either TBH i visit her and take flowers/cake etc but never out. she likes staying in and i have Dd so the day is for me aswell... i also have 2 brothers and a sister all of whom are childless at the mo so if mum wants to go out they can take her out...

blushingcrow · 02/03/2012 15:54

I couldn't care less about Mothers day , but my mum likes it so we all make the effort for her.

I'm happy with a bunch of daffs tbh

Shutupanddrive · 02/03/2012 16:00

Why can't you just invite her around for lunch as you are already making lunch, one more wont make that difference surely?

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 02/03/2012 16:05

Well YANBU to want your first mothers' day to be about you and your new family and your Mum is BU to pressurise you into relieving her guilt. BUT if your Grandma is going to be on her own and would like to go to lunch I think I'd take her. You can always do something just the 3 of you on the Sat and DH can make a fuss of you on the morning of mothers' day.

LittlePebble · 02/03/2012 16:09

Could you have lunch with DD and DH then go to your nan's for afternoon tea and cake or see her in the evening so you get your time alone and quality time with Her?

switchtvoffdosomelessboring · 02/03/2012 16:10

See the problem with mothers day is that not everyone can get to relax. Now as a mum to LO's you should get to relax and lie in bed all day eating grapes chocolate, but what happens (in my house anyway) is that you get presented with a box of chocs and (insert number of children) pairs of beady eyes. They all squeeze into bed with you and 'help' you eat your chocolates, returning half eaten coffee flavoured ones to you and wiping their lovely little hands on your duvet cover.

After the chocolates are gone (3 minutes) you have a cuddle (1 min) then they start getting bored and fighting. You send them downstairs with dad 'to make breakfast'.
They return 10 minutes later with toast and coffee. Then climb in beside you to 'help' you eat your toast.

You then persuade them to go and watch telly downstairs but your chocolate smeared, toast crumbed bed has lost its appeal.

So you get up anyway, but are expected to be 'grateful' for your lie in. After you have put the washing on (the sheets and duvet)and changed the bed you get everyone organised to visit mum and MIL, where they expect to be spoilt as its mothers day. So you either go to a busy overpriced garden centre cafe or run about making cups of tea and cakes.

I can hardly wait.

OP invite your gramdma round and put some old movies on and eat junk all day.

mowbraygirl · 02/03/2012 16:15

I wouldn't take her to a restuarant on Mother's Day as others have said the places are usually heaving with people and so noisy and the prices are usually increased for the day. Most of the places around here are already booked solid as my friend has found out.

Why can't your mother take her out for a meal before she goes away on her holiday or on return. After all this will be your first Mother's Day and it would be nice to spend it with your DH and DD.

ssd · 02/03/2012 16:20

brilliant post switch

HolyNoSheDittantBatman · 02/03/2012 16:21

I would just look at it that Mother's Day is a meaningless day designed to sell cards, chocs, flowers and raise restaurant prices.

If it means a lot to your mum/gran take her out for lunch and feel good about yourself for doing the right thing.

Then pick any random sunday and declare it mother's day (inform DP which day it will be in advance) and spend that Sunday doing whatever you wanted to do on mothering sunday. If you want to go to lunch/dinner prices will be lower, everywhere won't be packed and it'll be easier to get a babysitter if you want to leave DD. Sorted.

Gribble · 02/03/2012 16:22

Ahhhh poor Granny. Cant you just take her out for lunch and do the relaxing wholesome family thing after she has gone home (surely you dont just get Mothers Day together? )

It would be nice to spend it as a new family, but think of your poor Grandma on her own on Mothers day. Id give anything to be able to spend it with my Nana, 12 years on and its still hard for me and my mum on Mothers day because she isnt here for it.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 02/03/2012 16:23

Suggest to your mother that she takes your Grandma on holiday with her.

Then when she says she can't possibly, tell her you can't afford a meal out and had been planning to stay at home, especially as they bump the prices up for the day, so could she please contribute to the cost as she has seen fit to volunteer you without asking.

Then have a good time with your DD and your Grandmother. You might find it's more relaxing with an extra grown up to help entertain the baby.

valiumredhead · 02/03/2012 16:23

Me too gribble

Gribble · 02/03/2012 16:25

Valium I'll raise a glass to your Nan on Mothers day

Errr......anyway .......

valiumredhead · 02/03/2012 16:27

Thanks gribble me too x

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 02/03/2012 16:29

OP if you are at home the 3 of you it will be like any other day. Your DC is too little to know what is going on.

See your Grandma.

Although your mother is being highly unreasonable to book a holiday and then assume that you will take over in her absence.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 02/03/2012 16:31

Actually me too Gribble.

My Grandma died 5 years ago, and much as she had become a bit of a PITA because she would try and get out of her wheelchair when we were out and fall onto the floor , I would have given really rather a lot for her to be able to spend my first mothering Sunday with me.

Original poster

TeacupTempest · 02/03/2012 17:03

I never knew how complicated and political mothers day could be! It's a good job my mum s on holiday, too many mothers about!

Right, grandma will be invited to whatever it is we decide to do and I am sure we will all enjoy it!

Done

OP posts:

beezwax · 02/03/2012 17:16

Oh come ON, what harm can it do ffs?

Take granny out and show her a good time.
She won't be around for ever.

Gribble · 02/03/2012 17:19

Ahhh good on you op. Get her pissed, drunk grannies are ace

HoneyandHaycorns · 02/03/2012 17:21

Yanbu to be annoyed, but I think you're doing the right thing to include your grandma. You might regret it if you didn't.

Fwiw, I don't get the angst about mother's day. I try to show my appreciation for my lovely mum all year round, and don't need a special day for it. And I know my dd appreciates me too, without having a hallmark card to tell me so. I far prefer the spontaneous little notes and pictures that I get just because she loves me to the fancy cards that she has to give me because it's mother's day.

It really is no big deal.

valiumredhead · 02/03/2012 17:22

I agree honey

Angeleena · 02/03/2012 17:22

Hmmmm.
Wonder why you have a large family but only you are available for DG.
Take DG out on Saturday, as the restaurant was booked up for Sunday, inform large family that DG is at home for Mother's Day and have the Mother's Day of your choice.

Flip

1 2 3 4