Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is she BU? Want to strangle her.

102 replies

poissonchat · 01/03/2012 23:13

Hi,

Just got back from a girly minibreak abroad- and everyone has come back pissed off with one another over one of our ex-boyfriends. I will give my friends new names, Emma, Amy and Ruby.

Yesterday night, we were talking about ex-boyfriends. Ruby is in a happy relationship new with a nice guy, but has had a string of idiots before- the last one which she is particularly sore about due to him leading her on a treat for the best part of a year. Let's call him Ben.

So me, Emma, Amy and Ruby are sitting down in a nice restaurant, and Ben comes up in conversation. Ruby is quick to change the subject- but Emma jumps in with this gem which apparently happened the day before we flew out; Emma works in the same office as one of Ben's friends, albeit a different department- they don't really know each other. Anyway that afternoon at the watercooler, Ben's dickhead friend says something along the lines of this; 'Oh, you're Ruby's friend? My mate Ben had her! Apparently she's got a really weird vag, have you seen it?'

Me and Amy are absolutely mortified and Ruby is extremely distraught for two reasons- she was never 'had' by this guy as she refused to unless she was officially his 'girlfriend', so the fact that he's going round implying that he's slept with her to random people (him and office dickhead aren't really that close, did the same course at college or something) and also she has a complex about her 'downstairs' which we've tried and tried again to convince her that it's nothing near embarrassing bodies standard (I think you can guess what Ben seemed to think was weird about it ;[)

Emma is insistent that she's done nothing wrong as 'she would want to be told' and 'we are on holiday, but it's the last night so nothing has been ruined' and 'it was probably best to do it now because we can all support her and bitch about him. Oh and Amy seems to think there's nothing wrong with it too as we're all 'so close'. Ruby was upset, not sobbing the place down- but certainly watery eyes and being off with us all evening, and when she got back to the hotel she was texting Ben demanding what he's been saying about her. She also is planning to book in to get her labia amputated (well, that's EXACTLY what it is, call it labiaplasty or whatever you want).

I've gave Emma a call and told her it wasn't on, but she told me to give it a rest as Amy thinks I'm taking it too far and Ruby wasn't that upset anyway (?). I seriously don't want her to get away with it, because I think it was vile just announcing that out at the table and putting Ruby in that horrible position :(

Is she BU?

Sorry for all the new names, (it's like a little story!) but it's easier than going 'he/she/her friend/her boyfriend/our friend/hairdresser's cousins' friend)

OP posts:
sleeplessinsuburbia · 02/03/2012 00:26

That's a different story, your friend was enjoying making the other friend feel bad. You should have called her on it and called the ex a dick and told her she was being mean.

Your friend has set herself up for this by telling people she has a weird vag. I doubt most men who sleep with women could describe a vag - weird or otherwise so the story has probably grown out of proportion. I've never discussed my vag with anyone but if I ever do I'll be sure to describe it as normal!

Tell your friend not to be upset that someone who has never seen her vag describes it the way she does- it's expected. Tell her to send him an email requesting that he stops discussing her bag with others. The end.

suburbophobe · 02/03/2012 00:29

she needs to overhaul the type of men she hangs out with...

PigletUnrepentant · 02/03/2012 00:33

Strangle her, then go for Amy for being an insensitive bitch.

If we all went around telling each other their unpleasant truths, the human race would have disappeared from the face of Earth millions of years ago.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 02/03/2012 00:39

Get her a voucher for a vagazzel or whatever its called maybe?

HeadfirstForHalos · 02/03/2012 17:14

Emma is a twat and needs to apologise unreservedly to Ruby.

beezwax · 02/03/2012 17:21

Yes, Emma is a fucking cunt.
And if she's a cunt to Ruby then she's a cunt to you too.
Or at least she will be.

valiumredhead · 02/03/2012 17:25

I tried to read it, but still don't get it... who has the weird fanny?

TheLightPassenger · 02/03/2012 17:32

very well said Animula. Is there any chance that Emma could have been making this encounter up, do you think OP? Sounds like Emma knows exactly what buttons to press....

abrakebabra · 02/03/2012 17:34

'Oh, you're Ruby's friend? My mate Ben had her! Apparently she's got a really weird vag, have you seen it?'

Yes, that sounds like the kind of thing someone would say to a virtual stranger at a watercooler Hmm

I'm lost anyway, I don't really get what's supposed to be weird about her vagina. Is it green or something?

ChuffMuffin · 02/03/2012 17:39

I'm confused.. if Ben "never had Ruby" as "she refused to unless she was officially his 'girlfriend'" then how does he know what her miffy looks like?

But alas, Emma is indeed an insensitive cowbag if she knew Ruby was particularly sensitive about what Ben alleged. If that makes sense.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/03/2012 17:46

I think this should be posted on Feminism - it's beyond shit that someone is worried to this extent about their fanjo lips.

Ben is clearly a massive misogynist - it is NOT ok to talk about other people's personal body parts to randoms - it's just not.

However both of those men are pricks, the second one for passing that on.

Your friend needs some self esteem (not a labiaplasty) so she can shrug it off - I've seen a lot of vaginas and there is no 'standard' - everyone has weird little bits somewhere, it's what makes us human.

ariadneoliver · 02/03/2012 18:08

Poisson, isn't that French for fish?

Surely I can legitimately use the word 'fishy' now. Grin

LentillyFart · 02/03/2012 18:25

Not bad. Not bad at all. I mean, not brilliant you understand, but not bad. I dunno - shall we say 5/10? You can appeal, of course, OP but then I might have to downgrade you so probably best you don't.

I am old enough to know better about many many things and I can honestly say that no friend of mine has ever shown me her vag. Ever. Statistically I suppose at least a small percentage of women I've known must have had weird vaggies but nobody's ever mentioned it much less laid down, spread 'em and invited a viewing.

LineRunner · 02/03/2012 18:28

Why would Emma have seen Ruby's vagina?

That gem alone screams Fucking Bullshit. Smile HTH

Moominsarescary · 02/03/2012 18:29

Not even a 5, op only came back to tell us we were mean.

KatieScarlett2833 · 02/03/2012 18:31

Bens a cunt but to be fair he has had a close up at her vaj.

It must be noteworthy for Ben to have focused on that while he was getting his rocks off.

Friend misjudged freaky-vaj's level of insecurity over her problem area

No malice meant IMO.

DublinMammy · 02/03/2012 18:40

Did this all happen one time at Bandcamp?

Onesunnymorningin2012 · 02/03/2012 18:55

My best mate once showed me her fanjo, so I could admire her new piercing.

That was a fucking weird evening.

TheVermiciousKnid · 02/03/2012 18:59

My friend Ruby has spent about an hour crying to NHS direct today and her new boyfriend is concerned.

Really? That alone has me going Hmm.

bochead · 02/03/2012 19:03

Fast forward 10 years and spiteful bitch will need to reassure her through the trauma of finding that the lump in her left boob has just come back for the 3rd time. At that point poor Amy can let her know her husband's having an affair.

Drop the bitch like a red hot brick. The only confidence that should be shared is that her company is no longer appreciated. One to one this would have been bad enough, but at a public dinner? Nasty character that woman has for sure.

Tell Miss fretful about her ferjango that it's a basic fact that by the time a good man gets to bump uglies with a decent woman's uglies he's too bloody grateful to run around being so nasty. Her current bloke will confirm that for you, (esp if you tel him there'll be a waiting perod post surgery [wnk]).

Ben is a bloke who won't get laid by anyone for a loooong time by anyone with a half a brain cell if that's how he behaves. Not getting any, so getting the hump and then spreading nasty rumours round the office (playground) isn't the way to be the next "Hoff" no matter this worm's illusions. Women want a bloke who can function at the adult level sexually.

LineRunner · 02/03/2012 19:07

I would shoot all the messangers on this one.

ViviPru · 02/03/2012 19:10

My bad day suddenly isn't so bad. Thanks all :)

Proudnscary · 02/03/2012 19:11

What is going ooooonnnnnn?!

LineRunner · 02/03/2012 19:15

messengers

SilentBoob · 02/03/2012 19:16
Swipe left for the next trending thread