Sorry for such a tediously long post.
Our nanny has been with us for 4 months now. I originally advertised for a nanny/housekeeper. When she started she was doing so great over and above expectations, we gave her a very good bonus for xmas as well as some lovely xmas gifts as she spent xmas away from her family.
Over and above looking after DS1 who is 4 goes to nursery till 15h30, there is DS2 who just turned 2. I am also 8 months preggers. So we advertised for someone to look after 3 kids just so they are well prepared. We have a cleaner coming in once a week for about 4hrs.
The housekeeping duties for the nanny include :
- Making the kids beds and tidying room
- Folding kids laundry (I put it in myself, as they may not read washing instructions). Whatever needs ironing, the cleaner will do.
- Tidy up after kids
- Bath kids
- Cook simple dishes, if I don't. and supervise eating
- Put up blackout blinds in kids room
- Emptying the dishwasher (somehow, I hate this job myself, and always delegated it, previous AP did not mind as she never cooked, but ate and felt she could do this)
- Take out bin when full.
She did almost all this at the beginning and told me she was a good cook and offered to cook a few meals for us - which we told her were excellent. Though I cook most of the time, as I appreciated this to be an extra for her - though I did mention cooking in advert and JD. She no longer cooks. Always puts chips and nuggets in the oven cause the kids are refusing to eat veggies, even though I told her to put cheese, ketchup etc. in it just to get it down them. The other day I asked her to boil rice and make a pork for me as I had to urgently go to hospital with pregnancy issues ( and hit and run, another long story - it's not my month), and would not be able to cook. It was 16h00, but she said she did not want to burn the food as she has to look after DC at the same time and may burn the food - this was for her to cook for DC as well. Then yesterday she said she does not like cooking since she moved out of her parents house. WTF? She was cooking fine for the last 3 months, as she would give DC a task and cook while looking at them from the kitchen. I also have always been able to do the same. But I decided not to push this, as I would rather she looks after DC first.
For the past month she :
- Goes to the gym in the morning and comes back around 8h05. I had told her DS1 has to be up by 8 in order to prepare for school. Nowadays both kids get up at 7h00. So by the time she comes back from gym, the kids are dressed and eaten. She then leisurely takes a shower and takes DS1 to school. According to the JD, the job hours start at 7h30, even though DC were waking up later, but I said she may empty dishwasher at this time and make them breakfast, so it's ready when they do wake up. If she is fast, she could shower at this time and have breakfast her self. Our previous AP did that, or showered at night. She insists on gym in mornings rather than evening cause she says it gives her energy.
- Does not empty the dishwasher. But she has all the time between the 8h05 and 8h45 when DS goes to school. She then takes DS2 to babygroup/park/play directly, even though they start at 10h00/10h30 mostly, and have no real entrance time. To me she is avoiding the dishes so I have to take them out. She is not forgetting, cause she will put dishes in the sink when dw is full, even though I told her I hate a sink full of dishes like a student digs.
- She does not take out the children laundry and fold it. I have been helping her with this since the beginning, but now she leaves it completely.
- Does not make the childrens bed and take down blackout blinds. I have always helped with this too, but made it clear it's because she is getting used to kids routine.
- Does not tidy up after kids. Puzzles are all over the house as we speak. Also does not wipe after kids eat, so their table is always grotty. Also I clean up after bath, always have and did not mind.
While I was happy to help here and there, her heart is just not in it at the moment. I find her also very forgetful and does not listen to my instructions. Told her to always take her phone, oystercard and some cash with everytime she goes out as I may need to contact her, she may need to hurry home and take a bus (we buy her monthly buspass), or need to enter somewhere needing cash - which she takes from the kitty money. She always forgets these things -even though one of the presents for xmas was a handy small wallet to fit all this. A few days even forgetting the keys and had to get security to open. She then leaves lots of glasses and dishes all over the house, as she could not be arsed about taking away after drinking or eating. Other day DS2 unrolled toilet roll on the floor of bathroom, she could not even pick it up and put it next to the sink where there is lots of space.
At interview I said I was anal about keeping clean - am not really, just tidy, and she assured me she was too. A month in, her room looks like a bomb went off. I asked if she is happy here and with the work and also at home things are ok. She said all is well, and just blamed sloppiness on a cold/headache/ sickness etc. Now the cold season is over, I see no improvement. I wonder if someone advised her to just look after DC, not housework too.
I have already silently fumed and decided that if all she wants is to look after DC, I have to agree. But am upset, cause that was not the job I advertised - I said housekeeping too (which is not too much by my standards, as AP did all this, -but had 1 child to look after) and that is what I am paying for. Also quite annoying as am tired beyond belief with pregnancy, school search etc. at this stage.
Am having a 121 with her on Monday and I expect she will say the work is too much. She is generally a nice girl and gets along famously with DC, so don't really want to let her go. When AP left, friends recommended two girls, to temp with us while we were looking, who each stayed with us for 6 and 3 months respectively, before moving on (they were not real nannies). So don't really want to parade lots of nannies for the DCs.
Am SAHM for now, doing freelance now and again - less now with pregnancy, and always let the AP/ Nanny do as she pleases like an adult and not look over shoulder. Friend warned me that naturally if I am at home, the nanny will just decide to cut off some work for me to do, as it may look like I'm just on the computer all day. My sore back is preventing me from leaving the house all the time to some cafe, also they are not here most of the time anyway, so I get to get on with research then.
If I agree with job descrp. cut, can I then postpone DS2 entry to nursery which was supposed to be next term. I will look after DS3 for the first 8 months or so as he will be too small. I still will want a nanny to help with the other two , what with sleepless nights and all. Was hoping this one was a keeper, so I could look at changing careers, doing courses, but don't think that will happen.
Which battles to fight? and what should I let go?