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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy dd (age 6) shalwar kameez?

77 replies

faintpinkline · 28/02/2012 19:32

Even though she is blatantly white and European. Lots of her friends come from Asian families and she keeps asking for them to wear to parties because she thinks they're so pretty.

A couple of people have suggested she'd just just look ridiculous and it would look like I was just trying to be politically correct. AIBU to just ignore them and indulge her (with some cheap but pretty ones?)

OP posts:
viagrafalls · 28/02/2012 19:34

Who cares what they say? I think its a lovely idea and your DD naturally wants to wear something similar to her friends. YANBU

pigletmania · 28/02/2012 19:35

You go for it, why not. I expect she will look lovely in it. There is no rule to say that only people of a particular culture can only wear x clothing and nobody else can, is there

keepingupwiththejoneses · 28/02/2012 19:36

If that was me I would ask one of the parents of her friends how they feel about it. It is ok for you to say it is ok but it may cause issues with her friends families. If they say it is ok then fine, buy her some (you can get nice ones on ebay), if not then no!

HalfPastWine · 28/02/2012 19:36

I think it would be a quite a novelty for her to wear them to a party. No reason why not. In fact, I quite like them myself and wish some designer could bring some kind of fusion between those and western clothes. I think they'd look great in the summer, really colourful and cool to wear.

ZillionChocolate · 28/02/2012 19:37

I think it's fine. Maybe ask her friends' mums where to buy one?

SarahDoctorIndyHouse · 28/02/2012 19:37

She manifestly would not look ridiculous.

You might conceivably look as though you were trying to be politically correct but a) what's wrong with that?, b) you'd be more likely to look like you have a bit of imagination, along with your very clued up dd and c) there is NO c!!

Bicnod · 28/02/2012 19:37

I just had to google shalwar kameez Blush

Your DD is right, they are very pretty. I would just buy them for her if she wants them and sod what anyone else thinks - I bet she'll look lovely :)

DonInKillerHeels · 28/02/2012 19:39

I wear shalwar kameez, or more precisely churidar kurta, or kurta with jeans. And I'm white. If she wants to wear it, good for her. You could consider a "Westernised" alternative of tunic over trousers or leggings though if it all seems a bit too much.

SarahStratton · 28/02/2012 19:40

I love them, I love the whole Bollywood look, and if I thought I could get away with it, I would. As a pale blonde from Lincolnshire, I would look bloody silly though :(

Anonymumous · 28/02/2012 19:40

Swoon - I love those Asian clothes! Not just the ladies' clothes either - I went weak at the knees at the outfits the male Masoods wore to Syed's wedding in EastEnders. I would LOVE to see DH in something like that, and he is 100% English! Grin

I'd say go for it - no-one complains when you dress the children up as cowboys or nurses or princesses, so what's the difference?

TidyDancer · 28/02/2012 19:40

Oh I'm sure she'd look lovely. :)

lisaro · 28/02/2012 19:41

If that's how she feels 'dressed up' then why not.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 28/02/2012 19:42

Let her. She is right and they are gorgeous. I wish I could pull one off, or had the excuse of childhood to wear one anyway.

yummytummy · 28/02/2012 19:42

of course, its a lovely idea she will look gorgeous! all little girls love to dress up. its actually flattering to your dd s friends she wants to be like them. the website www.rupali.com has some nice stuff for girls and not too pricey. enjoy shopping!

yummytummy · 28/02/2012 19:43

sorry, its www. rupalionline.com

Mrbojangles1 · 28/02/2012 19:43

Well I say go for it I live in a highly Asian area I am black by the way and I own to saris one which I brought for a black tie even for my oh work and I have to say I rocked it every one was telling my oh for days how lovely I looked after

I wouldn't wear a langa it's a bit ott for me but why the hell not and I assume all the people that are telling you not to are white well they can shove it

Oh I also by the Asian sparkly slippers with beads but to any others they don't mix with rain lol

Primafacie · 28/02/2012 19:43

Not at all ridiculous, unless you think Asian girls wearing jeans/other Western clothing ridiculous too

FrillyMilly · 28/02/2012 19:55

I dont blame your DD. They are beautiful! I want to wear them.

HooverTheHamaBeads · 28/02/2012 19:57

The outfits on that website are just gorgeous, I'd let her wear one for sure.

ChunkyPickle · 28/02/2012 19:59

I've ordered stuff from Rupali, and worn it to weddings - it's beautiful, and you can wear them whatever your colour. The catalogue has little blonde curled white girls modelling as well as other races so the shop clearly doesn't think it's silly for europeans to wear them!

mrspnut · 28/02/2012 20:00

My dd1 had one when she was about that age. We lived in Hackney and we bought it from a shop in Bethnal Green. All of her asian friends loved it and we never had any negative comments.

beatricequimby · 28/02/2012 20:01

Absolutely, why not? They are pretty clothes, no Asian families will have a problem with it, they will probably think its quite nice.

GrahamTribe · 28/02/2012 20:06

YANBU of course. Shalwar kameez are so pretty, your DD will look lovely. I'm guessing that the friends who object aren't Asian either?

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 28/02/2012 20:08

I agree - go for it! Most shops stocks such an array of colours that you'll definitely find something to suit her.

thebestisyettocome · 28/02/2012 20:11

Lots of non-Asian women wear them especially if they've been invited to Asian wedding etc.