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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy dd (age 6) shalwar kameez?

77 replies

faintpinkline · 28/02/2012 19:32

Even though she is blatantly white and European. Lots of her friends come from Asian families and she keeps asking for them to wear to parties because she thinks they're so pretty.

A couple of people have suggested she'd just just look ridiculous and it would look like I was just trying to be politically correct. AIBU to just ignore them and indulge her (with some cheap but pretty ones?)

OP posts:
iFailedTheTuringTest · 28/02/2012 20:19

Go for it. Pretty and practical.

I'm sure I heard a tale if one of the big banks offering a choice of a skirt suit or a shalwar kameez as their uniform for female customer facing staff and being surprised at how many women who wernt from Asian backgrounds chose the shalwar kameez.

Original poster
faintpinkline · 28/02/2012 20:27

Thank you - I really do know very little about it though we live on the edge of an Asian area with lots of shops so won't have a problem sourcing them but thank you for the web sites its good to have ideas before we go shopping.

I don't think any of the Asian families we know will have a problem for a second. DD loves visiting them and dressing up and knows far more about their culture than I do. She can even speak basic Urdu as some of the older generations do not speak English. As some of you guessed it only whites who've told me I was being silly / too politically correct

I'll make some time at the weekend and take her shopping. I know or at least hope she'll be delighted and I think she'll look gorgeous.

OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 28/02/2012 20:38

i doubt your dd would be mocked at all, you maybe if you turned up in a sari but not in a horrible way. i have worn a sari on a few occassions and love wearing it i feel so elegant but took ages to dress (lots of pins) some of my aunts found it highly amusing that i wanted to wear a sari Hmm

NotYetEverything · 28/02/2012 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lurkerspeaks · 28/02/2012 20:42

I have a number of asian friends (I'm pasty white myself with a funny regional accent) have tried to get me into trad dress (both SK or sari) for various functions.

I've always resisted as I was worried about looking ridiculous but they have been very encouraging/ positive. in fact, it was my decision not to wear a sari, which caused upset at one of the weddings I attended. The Mother of the Bride, whom I've known well for 15 years or so and who I regard as semi-mother figure, was v. displeased and made it known as she had wanted all the girls to look the same in photos. The rest of my friends had complied and I hadn't (oops).

Original poster
faintpinkline · 28/02/2012 20:43

LOL Notyeteverything - at times DD can be so sensible DP and I wonder if the hospital sent the right baby home with us as there's no way she can have inherited her practical and commonsense nature from us Grin

OP posts:
PeppyNephrine · 28/02/2012 20:44

I begged my mother for a sari at that age, I was desperate for one, all my friends had the most beautiful ones. I never got one, but I'd say now we just couldn't afford it. I ached for one as a small girl though, it would have made me so happy.
Do it, of she wants it. Why the hell not?

lurkerspeaks · 28/02/2012 20:44

Oh and having watched people struggle with Sari's on many occasions I reiterate what Freudianslipper says. The last few times us white brits have worn asian stuff at wedding some of the 'aunties' have offered to help those in Sari's to dress.

Observing this as a non participant it seems to involve getting a lot of pins stuck into you and then being told to stop moaning!

MarquiseOfMelburnia · 28/02/2012 20:45

I think it's very sweet! I'm sure your daughter will look adorable and her Asian friends and their families will be delighted.

HoneyandHaycorns · 28/02/2012 20:47

Go for it. DD has loads of these outfits (her dad is Asian) and often lends them to her friends. They look really cute. :)

Firawla · 28/02/2012 20:47

I would get it for her, it sounds like it will make her happy and she would look nice for parties as she says, there's nothing wrong with her wearing it just because she is white european, i hope no family members or ne1 will tell her she looks 'ridiculous' as that would not be a good message to teach her :(
I think someone already mentioned rupali, if you get from there or suitsmeonline.com there should be loads of cheap ones (quality is okay for the price, ive not had girls stuff but boys ones and was fine)

LetsKateWin · 28/02/2012 20:48

THis is a good website

AwkwardMary · 28/02/2012 20:49

YANBU. If my DD asked I wouldn't think twice. They're very pretty.

Catsmamma · 28/02/2012 20:49

oh i am sure no one would be offended!

way back in the eighties we had a diwali evening and the girls hosting could not wait to play dress up with the rest of us...saris and the lovely trouser suit

I have a few of the long tops (kurtis?) I wear them with leggings or skinny jeans....have ordered from Rupali before now and they sre usually fab. ....especially the sale stuff.

AwkwardMary · 28/02/2012 20:51

Faintpink my nephew also speaks decent Urddu...one of the benefits of going to a very mixed school is that he has a much wider circle of friends from differing cultures and often goes to tea at their homes. He loves showing off his language skills.

Mimishimi · 28/02/2012 20:54

No. My mother regularly wears them and loves them. When there were floods in Queensland, Australia a group of online mothers sent new dresses to a family with a little girl (8) who lost all of hers. As well as the one I stitched, I sent her one of DD's old salwars ( still in near new condition as she had grown out of it very quickly) and the little girl apparently loved it. She lived in a rural community and probably would not have seen them very often.

diplodocus · 28/02/2012 20:55

I brought my DDs one back from a work trip to India. They love them and look gorgeous in them. The only thing I would say is that if your DD is slim the drawstring waists of the trousers don't stay up - you might need to take the drawstring out and put elastic in instead.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 28/02/2012 22:04

I own one that my DH brought me back from a trip to India. I love to wear it out and I'm, um, white and blonde.... Have only had nice comments from people, though. Why not, they are beautiful!

troisgarcons · 28/02/2012 22:07

A couple of people have suggested she'd just just look ridiculous and it would look like I was just trying to be politically correct

Ask your thick friends if they wear pyjamas to be 'PC'..

The word ?pyjama? traces its etymological origin to the Persian word ?payjama?, meaning ?leg garment?. However, it was first incorporated into English from the Hindustani language. During the seventeenth century, British men wore pyjamas as casual attires while relaxing, until they became outmoded. They soon gained ground in the west during the colonial era, and became popular as sleepwear, with designs inspired from similar traditional Indian and Persian garments. In India, pyjamas comprised of important clothing items of women and Sikh men. In addition, with the adoption of pajamas by Englishmen, their popularity soon perforated all across the globe.

Cherriesarelovely · 28/02/2012 22:08

It's a lovely idea. My DD had some at that age and looked great.

flibbertywidget · 28/02/2012 22:14

oooh go for it. I spent a long time in India (whilst backpacking) and loved the Shalwar and Sari's. I think they are beautiful, the embroidery, colours. Gorgeous.

SheKnittedHimAJumper · 28/02/2012 22:16

Your friends really said that? honestly, what are they going on about? When my nieces were that age I went on holiday to India and bought them all an outfit back and they loved them. Even as they got older they wore them with skinny jeans. They have been on trend for awhile now, especially in the Summer. All little girls love to play dress up and they are so much nicer than some of the tacky party frocks that are out. Enjoy your shopping trip Smile

Mirage · 28/02/2012 22:17

My blonde dds have one and wore it all over the place,including the village pub,with no funny looks or comments.They wanted it instead of a party dress and I couldn't see why not.I have a couple of the long tunics that I wear in summer and very nice they are too.

Ours came from the Melton Rd in Leicester-no one batted an eyelid in the shops,and why should they?

LtEveDallas · 28/02/2012 22:37

Oh my God that site is wonderful. I'm definately going to show DD in the morning and see if she likes them - I think she'd look beautiful.

(and I'm now drooling over some of the longer dresses for me. Oh I wish)

FakeFurCoatAndThermalKnickers · 28/02/2012 23:04

DS 1 (10) learnt some Bhangra (sp?) dancing with his friends for a school assembly (he is one of three white children in his class) His best friend lent him a suit, and he looked very cute, all the other parents were just really delighted to see him dressed up like his friends and kept saying how handsome he looked, and apparently the girls in his class also approved Wink so at his request we bought him one of his own to wear to parties and things. He does really fancy himself when he wears it, is v funny!