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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that DH was actually a prostitute...

102 replies

NameChange7483921 · 27/02/2012 23:21

First off, I really do not wish to trivialise the experiences of "proper" prostitutes - this is a light hearted thread.

Right. Namechanger, for obvious reasons.

DH is bi, which I have known forever, I am too, no big deal. We are securely married so it isn't an issue.

A few nights ago, we were talking about exes. He told me about a few girlfriends, then asked me what exactly constituted a relationship in my eyes. I said somebody who you would introduce to your friends as a boyfriend/girlfriend, so he asked whether it counted if you spent lots of time together, shagged regularly, but didn't go public. I asked for more details in order to make my judgement.

First off, he told me about a couple of kind of boyfriends (tbh I think they were more friends with benefits as it was just sex and hanging out - no actual feelings etc) and then he told me about another, but then corrected himself, because he "only did it to fill the fridge and get drinks and drugs"

Apparently, when he was at uni, two older men used to have him round to their house for threesomes etc, and in return would buy him drinks all night and give him food for the week, fags, drugs etc (only the usual recreational ones). Being a student, he thought it was great.

I pointed out that he was technically a prostitute, and he denied it as they didn't actually give him cash.

He also used to apparently trade sexual acts (with men and women, usually a lot older - he said he would have never gone near them normally) for stories when he was briefly a journalist.

He doesn't seem bothered by it at all, btw, he was really matter of fact about the whole thing - it was all over a decade ago now. He actually regrets that he turned down doing gay porn.

So, what do we think? Is the journalism thing just par for the course?

(sexual health is fine, btw, all tested etc)

OP posts:
NarkedPuffin · 29/02/2012 17:03

B'apple?

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:05

I'd give someone a bit of a grope for some White Lightning.

Can anyone honestly say they wouldn't?

BupcakesandCunting · 29/02/2012 17:06

I'd let someone touch me tits for a pack of Tuc biscuits.

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:07

SLAG

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:07

What would you do for a large box of Milk Tray?

BupcakesandCunting · 29/02/2012 17:08

Up the Gary.

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:10

UP THE GARY?

BupcakesandCunting · 29/02/2012 17:11

Up the Gary Glitter = Up the Shitter.

Honestly Hully, I can't believe I need to tell you this stuff.

Haziedoll · 29/02/2012 17:12

I would say that he was prostituting himself. It's all very icky, are you really ok with it?

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:12

I knew I'd be glad.

Anal for Milk Tray?

You is CHEAP guy.

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:12

More sticky than icky, surely?

BupcakesandCunting · 29/02/2012 17:14

You don't want to know what I'd do for Prestat.

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:15

What is it?

Would you do ping pong balls?

Bearcrumble · 29/02/2012 17:23

Iglooing.

BupcakesandCunting · 29/02/2012 17:24

Iglooing?

Oh God, just wehn I thought I knew them all...

Hullygully · 29/02/2012 17:25

Iglooing?

Is this another one I'm glad I don't know?

NarkedPuffin · 29/02/2012 17:27

Sad I thought that was a new one, but I googled it to find I've heard it on here before. I was looking forward to freaking out DH by dropping it into conversation later.

NarkedPuffin · 29/02/2012 17:28

Think dirty Mr Freeze.

TotemPole · 29/02/2012 17:43

NarkyPuffin, is it like space docking?

TotemPole · 29/02/2012 17:45

OP, he was a definitely prostitute.

He also used to apparently trade sexual acts (with men and women, usually a lot older - he said he would have never gone near them normally) for stories when he was briefly a journalist.

fedupofnamechanging · 29/02/2012 18:04

I feel really boring, reading this thread, with my vanilla past Sad

Haziedoll · 29/02/2012 18:09

Why be sad Karma, better to be boring (normal) than like the OP's husband.

NarkedPuffin · 29/02/2012 18:13

Imagine if Captain Birdseye did space docking Grin

NarkedPuffin · 29/02/2012 18:16

Not having had sex for pot noodles/white lightning isn't dull.

TotemPole · 29/02/2012 18:21

Fish fingers up the bottom?Shock