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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that preschoolers playing in a garden

25 replies

PurplePidjin · 26/02/2012 13:12

Should be supervised?

I don't have kids but would never leave dn to play in an unsecured area.

The area in question is one floor up (flats). Concrete steps lead to a car park and busy main road. Children in question are approximately 3 and 2 and both parents are SAHP's.

Am I being unreasonable to think the parents are deliberately endangering their children? Or am I woefully ignorant (and being influenced by the fact that the dad is a complete knob)?

OP posts:
MrsCampbellBlack · 26/02/2012 13:14

My children are currently in my garden unsupervised - they are 2, 4 and 7. But its secure and I can see them/hear them.

What you're talking about isn't exactly a normal back garden situation so I wouldn't leave them alone there personally.

Shakirasma · 26/02/2012 13:15

YANBU in that circumstance.

My kids have always played outside in the garden and I watched them from the window, but the garden is totally secure.

Iggly · 26/02/2012 13:20

YANBU.

Far too young IMO

whiskyfudge · 26/02/2012 13:22

deliberately endangering their children
Are you suggesting they are hoping something bad will happen? Foolish possibly, deliberate doubtful...

thisisyesterday · 26/02/2012 13:24

yanbu

mine have all played out in the garden while i'm indoors at that age, but that's a secure garden and i could dash out in a few seconds if needed.

if the area they are in goes out onto a main roadd i would be tempted to call the police tbh!
that may sound excessive but it's illegal to "abandon" your children and there is a very real risk that these children could be harmed. you can ring anonymously.

a visit from the police may make them stop

thisisyesterday · 26/02/2012 13:24

whisky, they are deliberately endangering them. they know the risks and they are leaving htem out there anyway. they haven't left them out there by accident, so it's deliberate

4madboys · 26/02/2012 13:30

i let mine play out in the garden or the front drive at that age BUT the garden is secure as is the front driveway (gated) and i can see them from either the patio doors, or kitchen and sitting room windows. i presume these parents cant see their children? if they can see them and get to them in a few seconds then ok, if not then no.

Original poster
PurplePidjin · 26/02/2012 13:43

Trying not to out myself, but SS are involved with the family and they've been told before. Also, there is no right of access across the outside space and they've been warned not to go outside other flats - which includes allowing their kids to roam.

And the noise of small scooters across a paved path is intensely irritating especially when there's a park about 50 yards away...

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 26/02/2012 13:51

Deliberately endangering makes it sound to me that they are hoping they will be hurt as well.

Just saying Smile

SardineQueen · 26/02/2012 13:52

Can they see them from where they live
Can they fall off this thing if it's one floor up
Doesn't sound right to me but finding it hard to envisage this space

MrsMuddyPuddles · 26/02/2012 13:54

Sounds like you know YANBU. Ring ss and let them know the kids are out alone again.

Original poster
PurplePidjin · 26/02/2012 14:29

More that they know the risks and are allowing it to happen, SardineQueen.

They can be seen from one window, if you stand right next to it eg washing up. Not from further back (and not a full length window, a normal height one)

They can't fall, although could climb up on the wall and fall two stores onto concrete. They were playing in an area that is at the top of external concrete steps.

Dsil allows hers to play in the securely fenced garden while she's indoors, but the garden's childproof and enclosed and is visible from more than one room.

Also, dsil's children are obedient and have been taught boundaries...

I'm trying not to be judgy. I'm not a parent so have no experience. And the dad in particular is, erm, not a great role model (swears at dc as a form of discipline for example) and has wound both dp and I up with his attitude on more than one occasion. Which is why I need confirmation ianbu! Grin

OP posts:
zukiecat · 26/02/2012 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 26/02/2012 15:14

OP have you called the police/ss?

if the children have access to a busy main road then you really ought to

amistillsexy · 26/02/2012 15:22

No YANBU.
I have a similar problem-outside space is unsecured and leads onto the road. My main living area is upstairs. My DCs 4, 6 and 8, are not allowed to play out unless I am out with them. It is a PITA, but better than seeing them squished...and they are much older and probably more likely to do as they are toldthan the children you are talking about.
Don't know about the police, though. I would contact SS since this is a child protection issue. The police have criminals to chase!

Original poster
PurplePidjin · 26/02/2012 15:27

They're in now. I have a contact at the council regarding other issues so will let them know tomorrow.

I really don't want to overreact - hence the thread before action - because the parents do clearly love the kids despite their apparent lack of forethought/parenting skills/whatever you call it.

Not Aberdeen Wink

OP posts:
MegIet · 26/02/2012 15:31

Sounds dodgy IMO.

Although I have a secure, small garden with no water. So mine did play outside unsupervised. I could hear everything though more's the pity.

ILoveSanta · 26/02/2012 17:19

YANBU, I live in a house with a secure childproofed garden, and I didn't let my so out to play without going out with him until he was 3!

Lougle · 26/02/2012 17:29

Hmm If the parents have been told before about this issue, then you know they should have been supervised and know that to think so isn't unreasonable. That makes your thread more of a 'let me tell you this awful thing so that you can judge too'.

Original poster
PurplePidjin · 26/02/2012 18:55

Thanks for mocking my ignorance, Lougle Hmm

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 26/02/2012 20:01

I doubt they were standing at the window watching the whole time.
If SS are involved and they have been warned about this then obv it't not OK.
I think you are right to let the council know.

thisisyesterday · 26/02/2012 20:04

the problem, IMO, is that one of those kids could have run off and been onto a busy road.

telling the council tomorrow wouldn't have helped.
if i saw that I would have rung the police, who would have come out immediately to unattended children with access to a road and who would have gone and spoken to the family

that is not an over-reaction. don't wait until one of them gets hurt just because hte parents clearly love them!

Floggingmolly · 26/02/2012 20:06

Do you actually mean a garden, or a concrete car park out of sight of the parents? If it's the latter you should report. It's ridiculously neglectful and dangerous.

RitaMorgan · 26/02/2012 20:07

If you knew those children were in danger then why didn't you do anything about it?

Sounds like you have deliberately endangered them too.

Lougle · 26/02/2012 20:46

"Thanks for mocking my ignorance, Lougle"

Pidj, read your post of 13:43 Smile

"Trying not to out myself, but SS are involved with the family and they've been told before. Also, there is no right of access across the outside space and they've been warned not to go outside other flats - which includes allowing their kids to roam."

Does that sound like the words of one who is ignorant?

You knew Grin

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