WIBU to book a 'pamper' party for 7yo?

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

DD is turning 7 soon and I'm trying to think of what to do for her birthday. For the last 3 years I have hired a hall and had an entertainer/dj but I simply cannot afford it this year.

I'm really not good with entertaining and interacting with other people's children which is why I've always done that sort of party. The thought of having 7 or 8 of her friends at my home to entertain for 2 hours fills me with absolute dread.

I suggested to DD going bowling with a few friends. She wasn't interested. I suggested taking her and a couple of friends to the cinema. Again, she said no. I asked her what she wanted, and she shrugged. I then (foolishly) suggested a pamper type party with nail varnish and the like. She really liked the idea

So I've had a quick look around the internet and found the following:

PAMPER 2)
The mini princess Pamper age 4 up
This glittery party is recommended for children of all ages. All products are non toxic & kiddie friendly where possible & always age appropriate. Shimmery make-up is applied to cheeks, eyelids & lip gloss to create fun glamour!

Price includes:

Themed invitations
Gentle file & paint for fingers OR toes
Glitter & sparkle non toxic polish & nail stickers/art (age 4+)
Glitter make-up Age appropriate make-up (shimmering cheeks, eye shadow & lip gloss)
Face jewels
Hair straighteners, crimpers & heated tongs.
Fruit punch fountain with pink plastic cocktail glasses & accessories
Glitter hair Highlights
Spray of perfume
Aftercare advice
CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFO

So I was wondering what you would all think if your little girl was invited to a party like this, or is it an absolutely stupid idea which I shouldn't even entertain doing, and convince DD that a perfect idea for her 7th birthday would be perhaps her first sleepover with her best friend?

Please be gentle

well my 7yr old BOY would love this type of thing, i woudnt do the hair straightners etc but i would (and do at home) allow him to paint his nails and put on those little sticker gems on his nails, i would probably let him put glitter on his cheeks and a bit of lip gloss etc, i am wary of eye make up on young children just because the skin around eyes is very sensitive, as are eyes themselves, i would worry about them getting it in their eyes.

i wouldnt pay someone to come and do a party like this, but i would let my kids do it at home to a lesser degree, paint nails, hair bobbles and clips etc but not the straightners or lots of make up. i would encourage face paints etc instead of make up and i would do some other crafty activities and games etc and a bit of a birthday tea, so some fun, some 'pampering' or dressing up etc whatever you want to call it, and some food at home.

i think the pampering etc can go to far, but equally i remember 'dressing up' and playing with make up as a child and thats all it was play and my own boys have done the same, they have all liked to get their toe nails painted or put clips in their hair etc and my 7yr old ds3 still likes these things. my dd is just 14mths old but i can imagine as she gets older she may like to have her toe nails painted or put on the glitter jewels when dressing up etc, that can be a bit of fun, its maybe the emphasis on the 'pampering' and the 'cocktail' drinks etc that seems to much?

the whole concept is weird.u wouldn't throw a party for a boy where the focus was on his appearance would you?? too much too young.let them be kids.how bout using your imagination - throw a budding scientsit party?? or a space party?? get them gardening?? a craft party???

anything apart from adding more bloody barbies to the world.

Also you can get clear Chapstick in "fun" containers...so sort of like lip gloss but basically just glorified Vaseline. :) I think that and some sparkly nail polish would be fine, and I would be fine with any child of mine, DD or DS, doing that.

yes cheerfulyank that sort of thing, lip gloss, sparkly nail polish etc, you can get flavoured lip gloss etc, they are fun for the children and just put a bit of 'sheen' on their lips that comes off as soon as they eat anything! plus some gems/face paints etc and hair accessories if they want. my ds3 would love that kind of thing, but done at home by me or a friend type thing with a group of friends. you can do it and it be playing and dressing up rather than 'pampering'.

And honestly some kids are just really into this kind of thing. A little girl I know is 11 and has always been really into color, fashion, etc. She loves to look up youtube videos on different "looks" and wants to be a makeup artist when she's older. Her mother doesn't let her wear anything like it to school, but she loves clip in feathers in her hair, different lip glosses, etc. She came to it on her own and loves it.

And yes I have read Cinderella Ate My Daughter and found it fascinating. :)

X post 4Mad :) Yup, I think that would be a good compromise.

This is quite interesting for me as I am actually having a "Glitter" party for my 6yr old DD next month. She is inviting 6 close friends and they will have a face-paint, glitter tattoo and glitter nail-art. I have a lady coming to do this. They will also be able to decorate cupcakes and we will have dancing games. DD will absolutely love this, as will the friends that she has chosen to invite. However I did feel that it might not be to some Mum's taste so i checked beforehand. They were all fine with it.

Having said that i do feel that the hair straighteners and pretend cocktails is a bit over the top.

I'm not crazy about it but I would let my DD go, I don't see the point of forbidding your child from going. It definitely wouldn't be my first choice though, as I don't like the idea of girls thinking that they need make up to look good.

yes thats what i would be unhappy about i think the drinks in plastic wine glasses, tho my kids wouldnt know what a wine glass was! it would just be a fancy cup. i think older girls may want to sit and take turns and be 'styled' ie teens, i remember my friends and i doing similar, but for the average 7yr old its more dressing up and play and having fun, that i am happy with i think and doing little pamper treats at home with mum, ie if i put on a face mask type thing, i would happily let one of my kids do it as well as a treat, a bit of fun. i guess its hard to draw a line as to where it becomes 'too much' and 'too grown up' but ultimately kids learn by IMITATING adults, its what they do from toddlerhood onwards and they enjoy it, mine have all enjoyed pretending to hoover and sweep the floor and helping do the gardening or the cooking, these are 'adult' things as well, just like role playing being a dr or a mechanic etc, its all part of childhood and growing up. i gues its when it becomes less playing and more trying to be grown up that and therefore more sexualised? that some people have a problem with it?

i think glitter tattoo and face paints and nail art sounds fine, because that is aimed more at children, its dressing up and play :)

I wouldn't want a young child of mine going to a pamper party. Sorry.

Ditto here - I was an out & out tomboy as a kid, but DD is & always has been very girly, thats just the way she is, as are IME MOST little girls, I personally don't think it has anything to do with gender based drip fed stereotyping, just the way it is - DD is also very academic & loves science, digging around in the mud etc, but she would be horrified to be offered anything like that as a B'day party, as its not special enough

& no not LA, but around here those sort of games are mainly for 6 & under - some of DDs friends would have been happy with pass the parcel at 7, but most just wouldn't

I don't like the idea pamper parties, not because they gender stereotype - IMHO thats just daft & over thinking it - but I just find them very shallow & in a minor way sexualising little girls, I also don't think they are safe - my own DD has allergies - she recently had the skin peel off her lips, red, swollen & very sore, because someone had given her one of those flavoured, slightly coloured lip balms, I don't have a problem with the cocktail fountain & accessories though, I doubt anyone is pushing it as alcohol, just fancy drinks, in fancy glasses the trimmings kids love

when you say hair straightners/crimpers are those those things that make your hair crinkly/wavy? i used to have some that made my hair kind like a crinkle cut chip iyswim? i was maybe 9 when i got them one xmas, again it was just for fun and play, i would probably let mine do this at home but wouldnt want to do it at a party where children may be overexcited and might not sit still, from a safety pov tbh. and also i woudl be worried about the heat damaging the hair? so it would have to be an occasional thing but making hair wavy or straight or crinkly isnt intrinsically bad and again i think it can be play and dressing up, it all depends on the setting and what else is being done etc i think?

I have a 5 year old DS who would love to have his nails painted, so long as it was orange or silver nail varnish!

A friend of mine, with her 7 year old DD's birthday, invited 5 friends to her house for an evening party. It wasn't a sleep-over. They all just played together, including painting their toe nails etc. My friend them cooked pizza for them all, gave them a choice of a DVD to watch, and their parents collected them later in the evening. Their party bag, I believe, was a pair of PJs!

I think you should go with whatever you feel comfortable with. Your daughter will always push the boundaries!

I also think glitter tattoos & face paints etc are fine, its the beauty salon like theme I have a problem with.

& ironically we did the mocktails for DDs last birthday, non of the parents had a problem with that, not even the Muslim ones, they just saw it as presented, fancy drinks with extras

Sometimes I think the people who would never let their DDs do this kind of party are the same ones who would do it and make a big presentation about it if it were their sons who wanted it, because that's all modern and subversive innit.

I don't think that's fair, Cheerful Yank. Personally I wouldn't want my children doing it because I think there are more interesting and fun ways for children to celebrate a birthday and I don't want to encourage them to be obsessed by appearance.

But that's just me.

My biggest sadness about it all though, is what happened to sausages on sticks, birthday cake and pass the parcel? Why do we suddenly feel we are letting our kids down if we don't do something huge and outlandish

Times change, thats all midwives it may have been the norm to us until much older, but amongst DD & her friends & all our friends DCs, its old fashioned & as the slightly older DCs often say "thats for babies" I'm sure it varies a bit as to where you are, but its certainly nothing to do with the parents out doing each other around here

Mine wouldn't be allowed to go, I'd make sure we were doing something terribly important that weekend. I think it's ok to mess around a bit with nail varnish at home, but I think this is just weird at 7.

Cheerful Yank, you think that all you like, you're entitled to your own opinion. My opinion is that you're wrong.

Sometimes I think the people who would never let their DDs do this kind of party are the same ones who would do it and make a big presentation about it if it were their sons who wanted it, because that's all modern and subversive innit

LOL - you've probably hit the nail on the head for some of the anti sexual stereotyping Mums with that statement - love it :)