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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to book a 'pamper' party for 7yo?

323 replies

GreatBallsOfFluff · 24/02/2012 21:30

DD is turning 7 soon and I'm trying to think of what to do for her birthday. For the last 3 years I have hired a hall and had an entertainer/dj but I simply cannot afford it this year.

I'm really not good with entertaining and interacting with other people's children which is why I've always done that sort of party. The thought of having 7 or 8 of her friends at my home to entertain for 2 hours fills me with absolute dread.

I suggested to DD going bowling with a few friends. She wasn't interested. I suggested taking her and a couple of friends to the cinema. Again, she said no. I asked her what she wanted, and she shrugged. I then (foolishly) suggested a pamper type party with nail varnish and the like. She really liked the idea Hmm Confused

So I've had a quick look around the internet and found the following:

PAMPER 2)
The mini princess Pamper age 4 up
This glittery party is recommended for children of all ages. All products are non toxic & kiddie friendly where possible & always age appropriate. Shimmery make-up is applied to cheeks, eyelids & lip gloss to create fun glamour!

Price includes:

Themed invitations
Gentle file & paint for fingers OR toes
Glitter & sparkle non toxic polish & nail stickers/art (age 4+)
Glitter make-up Age appropriate make-up (shimmering cheeks, eye shadow & lip gloss)
Face jewels
Hair straighteners, crimpers & heated tongs.
Fruit punch fountain with pink plastic cocktail glasses & accessories
Glitter hair Highlights
Spray of perfume
Aftercare advice
CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFO

So I was wondering what you would all think if your little girl was invited to a party like this, or is it an absolutely stupid idea which I shouldn't even entertain doing, and convince DD that a perfect idea for her 7th birthday would be perhaps her first sleepover with her best friend?

Please be gentle Blush

OP posts:
beatricequimby · 25/02/2012 20:45

My dd has never been to one of these.

She has been to lots where there was nail painting or similar as one of the activities, which was fine. I think one problem for me might be that a party where the whole point is makeover/beautifying is likely to encourage them to start comparing how they look, who is the prettiest etc. This will inevitably happen as they get older but I would rather delay it.

CheerfulYank · 25/02/2012 20:46

Gavs and Ariel I certainly didn't mean all parents who would shout it from the rooftops if their sons wanted this sort of party wouldn't allow it for their daughters.

I'm sure a lot of parents feel, as I do, that it would be fine to have a bit of sparkly nail polish, childish face painting, etc, for either gender if that's what they wanted, while saying no to more extreme makeup and fake wine and so on.

I just meant that some parents (some in my acquaintance, actually) would love it if their DS' expressed themselves with glittery and pink things but not their DDs.

girliefriend · 25/02/2012 20:48

Haven't read all the thread but think I get the jist! Well my dd has just turned 6 and her party was very 'traditional' ie a village hall, pass the parcel and musical statues, party food and a cake!

I also had a table out with a few craft activities, a friend offered to do some sticker thingys on nails and fake tattoos.

The kids loved it, it was cheap imo (all in for about 20 children about £80)

So my point is you can do traditional parties cheaply - I can't see how the op party would be much cheaper.

fwiw I might Hmm if my dd was invited to the op dds party but I wouldn't stop her going! I woud however doubt that she would enjoy it as she is not the slightest bit girlie unlike her mother !!!

janpa · 25/02/2012 21:07

My DD, aged 5, would love to come to your party! I have never encouraged her to wear pink, sparkles or makeup but it seems to be something that is hardwired into her brain. To her, going to a party where she would be pampered and painted would be Heaven.

rockinhippy · 25/02/2012 21:50

Well I stand corrected on the pass the parcel & other traditional party games - I was surprised at the number of older DS still happy to have these at a party, when I remember DD & several of her girlfriends pulling faces & refusing point blank to join in at DDs 6th party Hmm - the boys were keen enough though :)

So I asked DD earlier if would she want traditional games at a party now - she shocked me by saying yes Confused - she then went onto explain that it just wasn't "cool" when she was younger, but now its cool again as its done as a joke - kids eh - who'd have them Grin

rockinhippy · 25/02/2012 21:51

olders DCs - not DS

nooka · 25/02/2012 21:51

My dd has been to a couple of these type of parties. Personally I think that they are dire, and the idea of putting make up on a small child is to me really quite abhorrent, however 'age appropriate' (how on earth can any sort of make up of any type be age appropriate for a infant school age child??)

She came home looking very peculiar with a photo of her and her friends all looking really really odd in their make up, hair dos and dress up clothes. We had to wash off all the make up immediately as dd's skin is very sensitive.

It seemed to a bit of a fad for a while, and my observation was that it was very much a part of the group who were all hitting 10 to be like teenagers. Now they tend to be more into having sleepovers, which often include a bit of mutual make up, swopping of clothes, fancying up of hair etc. the major difference being that they do it to each other, so much more akin to playing dress up than having someone apply it to them.

thebody · 25/02/2012 22:28

This time last week I nearly lost my dd In The school coach crash. Let your dd do what she wants for her birthday. All I will say is hug and cherish her.

ravenAK · 25/02/2012 22:30

I think it sounds risky & hasslesome because other parents quite possibly won't like the idea - so that makes it automatically divisive.

If you were doing some pampering for dd & 2 or 3 friends whose families you knew well that would be different, but not as a birthday party - imagine if her best friend turned out to be one of the ones not allowed to come.

I'd be a bit Hmm about it because the word 'princess' & girly pink gender role nonsense make me twitchy (unashamed Millie Tant tendencies); dd's best friend has devoutly Muslim parents & this would definitely not be OK with them!

I can see the 'fun, dressy-up' aspect of it, but it does seem like it has the potential to make things awkward.

DVD & popcorn would be a much easier option!

EauDeLaPoisson · 25/02/2012 22:33

Thebody- you can love and cherish a child without allowing them to do inappropriate things

Dancergirl · 25/02/2012 22:53

It's a horrible idea, don't do it.

You know what really bugs me about this sort of thing: parents who are happy with it and then five minutes later utter that immortal line: 'they grow up so fast these days'. Yes because YOU are allowing them to. There is a big difference between little girls playing with make up at home and wanting to look like Mummy, and these horrible parties. One is child-led (fine) and the other is adult led (not fine). And those who can't see that and think it's only a bit of fun are deluding themselves. There something very wrong about an adult putting make up on a child for 'fun'. Weird.

And even worse....parents who think it's ok because their child 'will love it'. Well they may love eating junk food every day, it doesn't mean you let them. Because as a parent you do what is right and appropriate for your child's age. If they're having pamper parties at 7, what on earth will they do when they're 11/12/13?

Dancergirl · 25/02/2012 22:56

Oh and OP - your child is turning SEVEN (year 2 I presume)? She really doesn't need so much input into deciding what sort of party to have. Just pick something fun that's within your budget and do that.

early80sgirl · 25/02/2012 22:56

i think its a lovely idea and something little girls of you daughters age would love ! my dd is 13 now and as i work in the beauty industry have always done little pamper things for her and her pals its harmless fun and should be treated as such ive never come across a parent who wasnt happy for their child to attend , lets face it were not talking tattoos or piercings !! just a bit of sparkle haha !!

thebody · 25/02/2012 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

thebody · 25/02/2012 23:26

Wish I was u last week, so able to argue ridiculous shite like this, u all so lucky

thebody · 25/02/2012 23:36

Wish I was u last week, so able to argue ridiculous shite like this, u all so lucky

early80sgirl · 25/02/2012 23:42

agree with thebody think we should all count our blessings , hope your girls are home safe and well very soon , will be in my prayers tonight x

charity2 · 25/02/2012 23:58

Thebody, sorry to hear about your daughters, hope they are ok and are soon home. I totally agree with you, it puts things into perspective aswell.

Many parents organise the "perfect child party" and "age appropriate" yet their little darlings are little shitbags behind their backs.

Anyway, what does it matter really, its a party with a bit of sparkle and colour on their face that is washed off later. They are not going into town with skyscraper heels trying to act 21, they are in a house playing games pretending to be grown-ups. Its fun, no harm in it.

cherrytopping · 26/02/2012 00:27

I think my biggest problem lies with the organisation and what someone else said elsewhere about it being adult led.

If these girls were left with a box of make up and let to just do each other (and get it hideously wrong) but have fun in the process of making a mess I would have a lot less of an issue with it.

sleepwouldbenice · 26/02/2012 00:40

for my daughters 7th birthday she went to a place with face painting (butterflies and craft making various things) and a little disco (where they all actually just enjoyed the dressing up more, often still as princesses etc)

for her 8th birthday they had their nails painted, water tatoos and face painting (again they all wanted butterfiles etc) - this time at home playing silly party games like wrapping each other up in toilet rolls pretending to be mummies etc

so i would say theres nothing wrong with a little bit of pamper type activities but no need for "proper make up", hair straightening etc - they are still just so interested in younger things like craft and games

so i would not do a full on pamper party myself - if you got someone to come the house to do face painting and say nails then they would probably enjoy this with a few games - musical bumps etc would still work. also some time going to her room.... plus a picnic blanket lunch then you are probably sorted

good luck!!!

thebody - you are right, puts things into perspective. all we really want is our babies safe. love to you all xx

scottishmummy · 26/02/2012 02:58

ghastly its a my little ho party for wee girls
i would decline
and no make up is age appropriate for a wee girl at a stylised and staged party it lacks the spontaneity of say finding and disciovering. which kids do. BUT adults applying make up,perfume, and using words like glamour is front for sexualising children

ravenAK · 26/02/2012 03:22

X posted with you thebody - hope your girls are home with you soon.

& I agree, it does put it into perspective a bit!

TroublesomeEx · 26/02/2012 07:52

I too am very sorry to hear about thebody's daughters. I hope you have them home with you soon, safe and well.

However, it hasn't changed my view on pamper parties.

Original poster
GreatBallsOfFluff · 26/02/2012 07:55

ClippityClop you're right I didn't think it would cause this much of a stir, and I don't think I could stomach some of the things said here being said about me in real life by DD's friend's mums etc.

Her birthday is still not for another 7 weeks so I have plenty of time to think of something.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 26/02/2012 09:42

wise to reconsider its a ghastly idea
do a tea party cakes dvd etc
or a craft party make cards,decorate paper masks etc