To Get Pissed Off At the Bride to Be?

[0FrillyKnickers0]

Right.

I am Maid of Honour (pah) for my best?friend at the end of March.

She asked me before I was pregnant and now I am 13 weeks and will be 18.5 by the time of the wedding.

The reason for this post is because I am still expected to arrange the hen night and organise the bridal shower (me, me, me much?). When I asked for help from the other bridesmaids (I've had hyperemesis) people got a bit pissy with me. Please bear in mind that I'm already paying half for my bridesmaid dress and for DH's groomsman suit!

Also, when the B2B showed me a photo of the shoes she wants ALL bridesmaids to wear, I nearly choked. They are (no joke) 6 inches high! I suggested that I could wear them in the church and for the photos but said I would have to buy flats (don't worry, I'll match the colour) for the rest of the time because it's not advisable for me to wear such heels at that stage (plus I get terrible back ache already)! The response was stony, pissed off silence.

I'm sorry, but I've about had enough of this now. Am I being unreasonable or do you think that my fed up-ness is justified?

OP - some of your responses have been really unfair and show a complete lack of awareness about how shitty you will be feeling due to hyperemesis, even if you are over the worse of it the recovery time can be ages, it is not at all like normal morning sickness. YANBU to vent about it. If she was your best friend she wouldn't be putting this pressure on you.

I had hyperemesis in all 3 of my pg and if anyone would have thrown a hissy fit or demanded stuff of me I would have literally cried and thrown up on them. Tell her you can only do a certain amount and you will be wearing the shoes of your choice, if she doesn't like it she'll have to find another mugMOH.

I agree about the hyperemesis - I was lucky never to have it but a couple of friends did and it was horrible for them.

Hope you feel better soon Frilly

Showing of Presents goes on in fusty old fuddy duddy (mainly southern afaik) circles in the US. They gifts like Waterford crystal, fine china are displayed at the home of the mother of the bride to be. People who call with their own gifts in the days coming up to the wedding get an eyeful, cup of coffee, something to nibble, gossip. It's not the same as a shower.

In simple terms... tell her to go Fck herself . If she were a true friend she would be more understanding.... not act like a spoilt brat.

salmotrutta I've been invited to some Showing of the Presents things in recent years. I live in Northern Ireland, which I suppose is similar to some parts of Scotland (?)

I never went though as I thought the idea of going to the mother-of-the-brides house to look at toasters and vases was a bit

Each to their own, I suppose!

Wow she sounds just like my now sister in law who when she married my brother insisted I wear high silver heels-I was 30 weeks pregnant and so sick even under make up I looked looked like hell! She would not listen to reason- I limped through 10 minutes before my brother got me a chair and insisted intake off the bloody shoes, I was the best sister ever that day 2 years later we laugh about it sister in law admits she went bridezilla and apologised to be honest I would just say the shoes are impossible, your ill so either the bride just get someone to help you or leave the wedding party.

To add to the general point about hyperemesis not being a slight thing to laugh off: I can't begin to imagine how awful hyperemesis must feel. I just had bad morning all day sickness until 15 weeks, which necessitated carrying little sick bags everywhere I went. My constant refrain for 15 weeks was "at least it isn't hyperemesis level". I would sit on the pavement heaving into my bag, because someone had walked past wearing strong aftershave.

I wouldn't have signed up to be a bridesmaid, in case I was sick on the bride's train!

I thought she said she had had Hypermesis.
I took the past tense to suggest she no longer has it. If she still has it then that totally changes things.