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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think seriously about travelling with the DC for a couple of years?

194 replies

NotWell · 19/02/2012 21:15

I feel hemmed in. I hate suburbia. The DC are 7 and 3.

DC 1 isn't a fan of school...she's ok but it's not her ideal situation. I KNOW she needs an education...but I just keep dreaming about taking them both off on a massive trip...in a swishy van with DH and not coming back until DC1 is old enough to start secondary.

We could do it in about a years time. My Mum would go spare...she's very traditional and would worry sick about us running all over Europe with the DC...but imagine what they would see! The places and the people...amazing.

I could H.E. them both....I could stick to the UK curriculum and keep them up to scratch.

Is it totally silly? I work from home...via a laptop. I don't need anything other than a broadband connection and my fingers to earn my living. We have savings...enough to live on and to have a cusion in case of emergency.

It's this...or buy a house. I don't want to buy a house. I want to see the world. DH feels the same.

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 20/02/2012 13:51

Also it sounds like you might be interested in 'woofing':

www.wwoof.org/index2.asp

WWOOF organisations publish lists of organic farms, smallholdings and gardeners that welcome volunteer help at certain times. The diversity of hosts available offers a large variety of tasks and experiences.

Volunteer helpers ("WWOOFers") choose the hosts that most interest them and make direct contact to arrange a stay. Volunteers usually live as part of the family.

(This is probably what we'll do if we end up doing this!)

valiumredhead · 20/02/2012 13:58

I agree bejeezus

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 20/02/2012 14:02

You and your partner sound like sensible people and loving parents. You have money. You have flexible work (although I agree with comments that it's worth looking quite deeply into broadband costs and availability etc, just to minimise the possibility of any nasty shocks). You have thought about how your children will socialise as well as how you'll manage the travelling and their education.

I think your idea about staying in places for quite a long time is a good one, for socialisation reasons and because of what people have said here about the potential difficulties of long trips with small children.

Go for it! Good luck and enjoy.

Laquitar · 20/02/2012 14:13

I had this fantasy but wanted it outside Europe (which is more complicated).

I think few months/a year is enough for Europe tbh and don't expect too much 'cultural diversity' , we often eat at Pizza Express Grin

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 20/02/2012 17:08

Again, thank you OP. If nothing else you've inspired me. DP and I need something to look forward to so I've just ordered Have toddler will travel and France with Kids and searching for Campervans on eBay. We're going to have a few practice runs this year, plan a month away next year and then hope for something more exciting in the future Grin

If I was you, I'd listen carefully to those people who travelled as children or have taken their DC away and their experiences and advice, but ignore those who think it's irresponsible because they're jealous and too scared to do it themselves

dreamingbohemian · 20/02/2012 17:23

Laquitar, I'm sorry, but that's bonkers -- not too much cultural diversity in Europe??? What, just because they also have McD's?

Agreed I'd rather do it in Africa though Smile

weddingringdilemma · 20/02/2012 18:04

Atruth, it's not that people who disagree are scared or jealous. My dh and I plan to do lots of travelling when dcs have left home. I just think that uprooting your kids and putting your own needs first is deeply selfish. The op sounds less like the free spirit she clearly considers herself to be and more like someone who just really needs to grow up.

Haziedoll · 20/02/2012 18:15

The OP should grow up? Oh come on, she hasn't said anything to warrant that reaction.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 20/02/2012 18:21

Can you not see it from the offer side though Weddingring? Rather than 'uprooting' kids, offering them the opportunity to see a different way of life? It's obviously not right for everyone, but the OP knows her children best (& has mentioned why it might be suitable for them)

Btw, what's the dilemma? Grin

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 20/02/2012 18:21

Offer?? Other!!

urbanproserpine · 20/02/2012 18:22

I know someone who is currently doing this with DH and DC x3 in South America . Thy have kitted out a Russian military van in luxury and have taken off! The pics look amazing...

Go for it.

Laquitar · 20/02/2012 18:24

dreaming, i don't think there is such big and obvious diversity for children of 7yo and 3yo to 'see it' themselves. Not like in Asia or Africa - different clothes, transport, way of eating etc.

Also, the children won't go to local school to mix with local children and parents and to experience the local school system/lifestyle. For the parents its easier to spot the small differences that still remain i.e. lifestyle, parenting. I imagine that the parents will observe and then discuss it with the children.

I also imagine that only certain people (young or open minded or expats) will open their house to op and family, not like if you live and work there and join the school.

happybubblebrain · 20/02/2012 18:29

I went travelling a few times before I had dd, and it is the best thing in the world. I often dream about going now because I know how wonderful it could be with her with me, but I worry about disrupting her education as I wouldn't be able to home school well enough. We will go when she's a teenager.

In your case, I think you should do it. And buy a house when you get back, when the prices have dropped more.

McHappyPants2012 · 20/02/2012 18:32

Do it, I wouldn't feel confident in H.E but I would love to do it

weddingringdilemma · 20/02/2012 18:53

I can see that it might turn out to be a cool experience for her kids though I think it might be better to do it in the summer holidays rather than taking her eldest ds out the education system for several years, which could have long lasting implications. What really grates for me is that the op's selfishness shines through every word. It's all I, I, I, ...I want to see the world, I feel hemmed in, etc. She isn't doing this for her kids but for herself, putting her needs first. Also I can't imagine being holed up in a caravan with your mum being h'ed would be better than going to a proper school and being taught by trained teachers! How easy will her ds find going to high school after years of that? She seems to care a lot more about what she wants than what might be right for her kids.

CamperFan · 20/02/2012 19:11

Do it OP, I can't see that you would ever regret it. We are planning to go for 6 months when DS2 is old enough and before he starts school. DS1 would turn 8 whilst away. I am already excited and it is 2.5 years away!!

CamperFan · 20/02/2012 19:13

Btw, we are planning on going to all the places that are too far/expensive for a regular holiday - Hawaii, South Pacific, Hong Kong, California - and visiting family.

stella1w · 20/02/2012 19:14

I travelled the world, had children, returned to my home suburb to raise them and be sensible and I am going insane.. Am on maternity leave with dc2 and wish I had spent more of it travelling with them before DC1 starts school in sept. DC1 misses our old life abroad too.. so YANBU.. do it.. Virginia Woolf said give me death or suburbia..

MAYBELATERNOWIMBUSY · 20/02/2012 21:50

unusual ,perhaps for a female, i live (only me)in a camper van full time , i would suggest u check out "campervan life " site and read DARREN"S "9 month travelling blog , also, he and other "van" people will give u as much advice re any travelling enquiry u have . Can"t opinion on the kids, ok i will , if they can read write & count ,they will have the basics to go forward with their own life when older .for ME,(selfish me ?)just making it to my no where in particular destination is a joy! vans can be hired for awhile to test the water u know, hope this post helps(hippy trippy happy clappy !!) and life really is to short , for us all.

tilbatilba · 20/02/2012 22:29

Agree with Julienoshoes...get on to another forum and seize the day!

re boredom, we have traveled enormous distances with our children but boredom has absolutely never been an issue. I can't imagine why you would do 15 hours in a vehicle with a child on board unless something had gone wrong with your plans. We have rarely driven more than 5 hours a day and it has worked for us and the kids. if you are on the road for months you very soon find what works for you.

I think people are remembering what it was like being stuck in a car as parents belted through the night to get to the ski fields or to Queensland for the summer hols or down to Portugal.... What the op is intending is to take TWO years ....there is no urgency to be anywhere and unless something untoward happens it's an unusual situation to be either "cooped up" or stuck in a Landrover.

Security, structure, routine...all the things kids like still happens when you travel long term. Two week holidays can go pear shaped without it but there is no way you can exist happily for any length of time without it. But it comes in many forms....putting up a tent each night, collecting firewood, being the map reader, reading stories together, skyping granny, cooking together etc.

Is the school system is England really that amazing that you wouldn't miss a year or two? It's a genuine question. I live in Aust and although we have great government primary schools here they are not so special that I would have given up the chance to live the life we wanted.

corriefan · 20/02/2012 22:46

I really want to do this too, but just for a year so our dc would miss yr 4 and 5. I've just got a brilliant job teaching part time in a special school though, which I don't want to give up. I'm hoping I can take a sabbatical or something!

Laquitar · 20/02/2012 22:47

It's interesting because there was a thread about children in shops at 8pm and nearly everyone said it was not on, some said it was 'chav' and some said the children will become lazy, unemployed etc.

I just wonder why is it 'cool' and hippish to spend a fortune to rebel abroad but not where you live. It is genuine question, not criticism.

CUKAmbassador · 20/02/2012 22:51

Something I have always wondered about doing.

I've known a few people in my time who travelled with their parents when they were kids. Moving from one place to the next. The only downside is that the kids can become a little 'odd' or 'disconected' when compared to others and in one persons case never really felt he belonged anywhere before committing suicide when he was 19.

tilbatilba · 21/02/2012 01:51

Laquitar - this is about having a year or two out of the burbs - being together as a family - hardly think NotWells children are going to be hanging around shops in Europe at 8pm and turn into chavs.

And where do you get it costs a fortune??? It all depends how you travel and how you support yourselves. Our expenses when we travel are way less than what we spend at home.

It's hardly rebelling .....wanting to see the world with your kids, wanting to share unhurried, uninterrupted days with the people you adore most.

As for the above comment .....I've met a few odd and disconnected people who have never left England! I've also known a few who have suicided and their parents didn't drag them around the world.

OrkaLiely · 21/02/2012 03:23

YANBU-even though the thought of it gives me an anxiety attack Grin