To be a bit pissed off at how alot of us have this "Oh I don't think he/she is really that ill" type of attitude

[nobodyspecial]

I've been guilty of this in the past.

I have a terrible chest infection. So bad I'm on two antibiotics and have been told that if it hasn't cleared by Tuesday then I need to have a chest x-ray incase I have something more serious.

My husband last night was pissed off at me for handing our 6 week old baby over to him at 12am so I could have a hot shower to help relieve the coughing and wheezing.

I drove myself to the out of hours doctor (not angry at him about this, as we have 2 children at home and couldn't have taken them with us) at 2am. Turns out I had a temp of 39 degrees along with the cough and the doctor seemed quite worried and told me to take it easy and keep taking paracetemol and ibuprofen for the raised temperature.

I came back at 3.30 and he didn't even ask me how I was or what happened. So I said to him "don't you want to know what thE doctor said" His reply? "No one's ever died of a cough".....

I am SO angry at him I can't even face looking at him. Instead of taking a day off work today to help lookafter the children (I keep getting a fever every few hours) he pissed off to work at 6am this morning after changing DS's nappy.

I've noticed on alot of threads here that if someone is ill, the general consensus is that they're either lying or just want attention and that's how I felt DH felt about my breathing problems last night.

He's never done this before, because I've never reacted so badly to a chest infection before. I had a similar thing about 3 years ago, and even with the coughing, I coped. Maybe because I've had a baby recently and my immune system is really down I can't combat this crap thing, so he thinks I'm overreacting...I don't know.

Sometimes what we perceive as a sniffle, may not be a sniffle at all. It might be something really painful for the person suffering. Like yesterday, if the doctor hadn't taken my temp, I would never had known I was in a fever as my head and face felt cold and I was shivering.

Very long post. I know I am not being unreasonable. Please people, have a heart.

A fever is a big thing, as it can induce fits and blackouts, it should never be ignored

Yeah I just meant after you've taken a couple of paracetemol.

Is 39 a really high temp in an adult?

You sound a tad dramatic OP but I hope you feel better soon! :)

YANBU.

I had two weeks off work with a chest infectio last year at th doctors insistence.

The last time I was off before that was four years before when I was in HDU with pneumonia, septicemia and peritonitis.

Chest infections can be awful.

Thanks valiumredhead much appreciated

I'm trying to read between the lines here.

It seems as though perhaps the OP's DH thought she was being a tad dramatic and didn't need to drive herself to the OOH Doctor at that time of night.

Perhaps he thought she should wait til the morning...hence the 'No-one ever died of a cough' remark.

Then when he realised the Doc sent her away and just told her to take a couple of tablets, he perhaps felt justified in his irritation?

Either that or I'm talking bollocks...I dunno, I wasn't there

worra If I hadn't gone to the doctor I would have spent yet another night coughing with every breath. I was put on a nebuliser to help clear my airways which made a slight difference, which is why I was able to go to sleep when I got home. He doesn't know this. So he's not justified.

I agree with you but in some cases i would disagree. For example: I had very bad flu, was off work for 2 weeks, was signed off work by my doctor who actually paid me a visit because i was too ill to leave the house, several years back. A friend of mine would always say she 'had flu but threw it off after a day of sickness and would scoff at those genuinely ill with flu.

Until she had real flu, actual flu as opposed to an unpleasant other virus. She doesn't say it anymore because now she knows just how much it kicks you and how bad it is.

BUT...in the case of a mate of mine she's constantly bigging up her sickness, saying she's so ill with a throat and chest infection yet out partying and drinking. Saying she can't move for flu, yet being able to sill get up and go out partying that evening.

With everything i withhold thinking too much about it, until shown otherwise, but it's easy to judge if never been really sick with something and easier if you know someone who royally does take the p*.

It does seem a little over dramatic to make a 2am dash to the out of hours doctors because you felt unwell whilst having a chest infection. That, and a temperature, is par for the course.

On the other hand your husband doesn't seem to be that nice a person.

oh come on OP, you're asking absolute strangers if you're BU about your illness when you haven't given your DH all the facts, and decide to drip feed us too?

if you're really poorly, go to bed and i hope you get better soon

if you're milking it, go to bed and i hope your DH gives you a bit of a rest

I had a fever once where I saw things coming out of my wardrobe - it was awful, I couldn't even get downstairs for nurofen let alone drive myself anywhere!

I remember ds being about 15 weeks and dh coming home and realising I was really unwell as he was in the bouncy chair and I was sound asleep on the sofa and dd hadn't made it to playgroup. He called his mum and got me to the doctor. The GP asked when I'd last properly slept and went wide eyed when I said I couldn't remember as I had a 15 week old baby and a 3 year old. Thankfully MIL took them the next day and dh looked after them over the weekend. I however couldn't have driven myself to the doctors. Dh is very wary of letting me drive when I am ill.

I hope you get better soon.

I'm with you OP, its bloody annoying, because justified or not (and it sounds like you are justified in being indignant) its not what you want to hear!

I had what was apparently probably swine flu or perhaps normal flu Christmas before last, and I was staying with the in-laws at the time. I missed Christmas, including the children unwrapping their stockings and presents, because I couldn't physically get out of bed. I tried to for a while and had to go back. Cue lots of eye rolling and "you don't LOOK like someone who as flu" etc etc. Well I don't really give a flying fuck how I look - I feel shit so I'm going to bed and I'm going to sweat copiously in your nasty polyester sheets.

Anyway, long story short it got worse and became Pneumonia, and 6 courses of antibiotics and 2 relapses later I managed to shake it off, but it rendered 2011 the shittest year ever. I recently had surgery to fix some problems the prolonged coughing caused - keyhole but general anaesthetic and 2 days on morphine and 3 day hospital visit.

Yep, just a cold, what a wuss eh? Cunting inlaws.

Haha!

YABU.

I am rubbish at sympathy.

I get confused between sympathy and remedy.

DH: "I'm not well"
Me: "have you taken any paracetamol?"

I don't want him thinking it's ok to sit there languishing when all he's got is a sniffle. If he's really really ill then he won't give a shit about me ing at him.

I like to encourage him to remain productive

I do hope you get better soon because regardless of wether you are milking it or not, it's bloody hard looking after kids when you are ill when all you want to do is go to bed!

See tatty proved my point. If you are really ill then you don't give a shit.

tattydevine Holy poo...surgery to fix problems from coughing?!! Please tell me more..

I had swine flu and was in my room huddled on Internet and posted that I had swine flu

Apparently I was a liar as if I really did have swine flu (I did!) turning a PC on would have made my head explode and I should not have been able to raise my head or arm.

Grrrr I hate it.

A temp of 39 in an adult is high valiumredhead, especially if coupled with a high heart rate and respiratory rate.

Younger,fitter people can compensate and be a 'bit' poorly for a while before becoming extremely unwell as birdsgottafly did.

OP I think your dh has been a bit harsh, you sound quite poorly (and thats from a hardened old A&E sister!!) try and rest, take regular paracetamol and lots of fluids.

Hope you feel better soon.

But op has a DH to step in..... Try being a line parent, you aren't allowed to be ill then, it's against the rules!

YANBU. Hope you feel better soon.

I had terrible morning sickness with DS, was hospitalized a number of times and lost over a stone when I was teeny to begin with. And I am a type 1 diabetic thrown in for good measure.
My boss rang me on one of my hospital admissions and enquired if I would be back at work the following day. When I said it was highly unlikely she responded with 'you're pregnant, not dying and everyone gets morning sickness. What did you expect?' Highly supportive. I actually felt guilty for not going into work.
I do think some people make a fuss over nothing but these are people who you find are ALWAYS ill and have a lot if time off. People who generally don't complain and usually keep going should be offered sympathy when poorly.