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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that it is possible to control the loudness of your coughing?

55 replies

YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 22:35

like you can with sneezing. As in with sneezing you can either go "AAAAAAAACHHHOOOOOOO!" or you can do that quiet internal kind of sneeze when you know one is coming.

DH is in the room below where the baby is sleeping and I asked him to try to cough more quietly as he's been coughing really loudly for days and it's a massive pain having to go and feed a baby back to sleep several times an evening.

DH thinks it's not possible to have quieter coughs and seems to think I am being an arse Shock.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 18/02/2012 22:38

YAB a bit U... whenever I have had a cough, trying to keep it quiet only makes you want to cough even more...

Is he taking any medication to try and get rid of it?

Onesunnymorningin2012 · 18/02/2012 22:38

It depends on how bad the cough is, frankly. If he's been coughing for a few days, you could perhaps but the baby in another room and send DH to the doctor?

YABU OP.

IsItMeOr · 18/02/2012 22:41

YABU. Although I am a rubbish nurse when DH is poorly, so I would probably be thinking the same as you. Can DH or baby sleep somewhere else?

thinneratforty · 18/02/2012 22:42

YABU, but I really sympathise, dh has had a cough for a fortnight.
Can you move the baby or could you dh move somewhere else at night time?
It won't last forever.

RandomMess · 18/02/2012 22:43

Well I can't control how loud my sneezing is and I doubt I can control how loud my counghing is either.

Have you considered that perhaps feeding your baby to sleep isn't such a great long term plan? Teaching babies that they can go to sleep whilst not being fed is a much better idea IMHO.

smoggii · 18/02/2012 22:43

I wish i could control how loud my sneezing is, I do whoppers that annoy the heck out of me, wake up my DD and frighten my dog, if i could make them quiet believe me I would.

I also can't control the volume of my cough and a suppressed cough leads to a longer bout of louder coughing.

If you can control both of theses you 'got some skillz'

YABU

Helltotheno · 18/02/2012 22:48

Yes I find it possible to control sneezing, coughing and eating and I don't really think any of the above should be irritatingly loud. For a really bad coughing fit, I'd take it out of earshot or go under the duvet or some ruddy thing. I don't honestly think YABU.

Helltotheno · 18/02/2012 22:49

Btw with sneezing, pinch the nostrils. OK you risk your eyeballs popping out but it's a calculated risk!

raindroprhyme · 18/02/2012 22:52

My son has Cystic Fibrosis. He coughs a lot and I frequently wish he could do it more quietly. He can't he says it just means he has to cough more. When his teacher asked if he could stop coughing in class or at least do it quietly he told her he would remember the next time he coughed so much he was sick he would do it quietly. Thats my boy (he is 7 years old) I sympathise though it is annoying I year far plugs so I don't hear him coughing at night.

GrimmaTheNome · 18/02/2012 22:53

YABU. I've sometimes had totally uncontrollable coughs (as in, no way to stop coughing or make it quieter). I telecommute and it was a bit embarrassing when I had a coughing fit in the middle of a phone meeting but there was nothing I could do about it once it kicked off.

Make sure your DH is not in dry air, and has plenty of cough sweets (or even just pastilles) to suck. Hot honey and lemon (breath in the steam).

Hope (for all your sakes) he's better soon. A nasty cough is no bloody fun for anyone.

Lueji · 18/02/2012 22:56

If your DH has the same chesty cough I have he won't be able to control it because he really needs to clear his lungs.

He could indeed try to do it under the bedding, though.

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 23:03

aawww boooooo, I knew you would all say i am being unreasonable Grin

he's taking every medication under the sun.

I co-sleep and have managed to keep coughing and sneezing under control but maybe you are all right and he is really ill and out of control. Bless.

OP posts:
Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 23:05

"Have you considered that perhaps feeding your baby to sleep isn't such a great long term plan? Teaching babies that they can go to sleep whilst not being fed is a much better idea IMHO"
I have to put up with the coughing, I'm not about to add a crying baby to the mix!
I'll probably feed him to sleep for a good while yet, and shock horror he's 14 months!

OP posts:
BustersOfDoom · 18/02/2012 23:12

YABU. I had bronchitis last year and it was bloody awful. I knew I was probably keeping DP and DS - in the next room - awake but there was nothing I could do about it. Sticking your head under the duvet is a very short term solution, makes very little difference and soon gets hot and uncomfortable. I got very little sleep, felt like crap and often coughed until I was sick. As bad as it is to have to listen to it believe me it is much worse for the cougher. Am very glad my DP was a lot more understanding than you. This actually reminds me of my DM's friend who has chronic asthma and her husband asked her to try and breathe more quietly when she was in the midst of an attack.

If he hasn't already maybe he should go to the GP's, he might need some antibiotics if he's got a chest infection.

lydiamama · 18/02/2012 23:19

I do not know OP, I can not control either my sneezing or my coughs, and I never heard that before, so to me you sound unreasonable. Give him some TLC (and cough medicine) and the three of you will feel better

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 23:30

thanks. I realise I am being unreasonable. he has cough medicine, lots of it, loads of different types.

OP posts:
Onesunnymorningin2012 · 18/02/2012 23:57

Mine was a sympathetic YABU, OP. It can't be easy dealing with a coughing DH and a baby at the same time.

I hope your DH gets well soon and life becomes more peaceful.

aldiwhore · 19/02/2012 00:44

If he's not been to the Gp after self medication hasn't worked then he IS BU.

He could need anti-b's... I'm on my second course now, I tried self medicating and my cough got worse and worse... I had pneumonia. Great.

Though I couldn't control the volume of my coughing, I could take it under control by getting the right treatment.

So, YANB(as)U as people think, send him to the docs and give him a week on the right meds. Put up with it until then.

yellowraincoat · 19/02/2012 00:46

YANBU

People who cough and sneeze loudly drive me mad, it is total nonsense that you can't control it.

If it makes you feel any better, my scumbag of a brother burped really loudly twice when we were out for a meal tonight.

Boomerwang · 19/02/2012 00:54

I can't control the volume of my sneezes. Some people sneeze very dramatically, doing the whole 'WAHOO!' thing at the same time and I think they COULD try to keep their voicebox deactivated when they do it, but everybody is different. I hate sneezing because it hurts and makes me feel that I have no control but I couldn't do it any quieter without causing a coughing fit or something.

Coughing... I don't think you can do that quieter either. You can try to smother it of course, but the actual cough is going to be as loud as it is otherwise you'd have to cough for longer to get the crap up.

zipzap · 19/02/2012 01:06

Depends what sort of cough it is. Little ones aren't too bad to try to lessen the volume but if you have a nasty cough then as others have said trying to do this makes it so much worse.

I frequently get the sort of coughs that mean if you need to cough then you need to stop what you are doing and bend double or straighten up or collapse on the floor or a chair just to hold yourself together whilst coughing. It's loud and it hurts - everywhere.

I can remember at school on the last day of term the headmisstress getting so fed up of all the coughing that she threatened detention for the next people to cough. I managed to suppress a couple (really didn't want a detention as managed to get through school without any) - then the next barrage came, did a huge great volley of coughs and there was blood everywhere. I just jumped up and sprinted out - not knowing where the blood was coming from and to a chorus of omg she's coughing up blood. Never seen the staff at the back of the hall jump up quite so quickly, eventually turned out I'd given myself a bad double nosebleed. Never tried to surpress big coughs again - just not worth it.

For what it's worth, both dc learnt to sleep through me coughing pretty quickly (within a week or two of my first cough after they were born) and once they are asleep can sleep through anything now they are a bit older! probably helped that it was me having the coughing fits so not able to go to them straight away if I did disturb them (in cot next to my side of bed) as I was recovering and dh also got the knack of sleeping through my coughing!

LittlebearH · 19/02/2012 01:07

YANBU. Cough into a pillow!! DP sneezes AAAAACHOOO and does that annoyingly loud yawn thing. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I could murder him.

BustersOfDoom · 19/02/2012 01:17

The posters who claim that coughs can be controlled or suggest putting your head under the duvet or coughing into a pillow have obviously never had a nasty chest infection or bronchitis. If DP had told me such rubbish when I was coughing my guts up he'd be living elsewhere by now!

LittlebearH · 19/02/2012 01:20

I have had bronchitis and coughing into a pillow does quieten the noise. But at the end of the day a cough is not on purpose. So I would be more sympathetic. A stupidly loud AACHOO or yawn is just fucking annoying :)

BustersOfDoom · 19/02/2012 01:29

Yes it does to some extent. I'm just glad my DP was more concerned about me being ill rather than how much noise I was making coughing, even though I was trying not to.

And I don't disagree on the sneezing. I work with a loud sneezer. Drives me bonkers!!