To have absolutely no sympathy for DB?

[pugsandseals]

Brother is currently having to sell his house to pay off the debts he & ex-wife run up. He is now with new girlfriend & they've just had a baby (her 2nd child). He is always banging on at parents that life's not fair, I've had it lucky by marrying someone that's loaded (he's not btw) & the world owes him a favour.

This is the 2nd time he has had to declare himself bankrupt & he has absolutely nothing to show for 15 years work. But always happens to find the cash for the latest phone/fashion etc. while DH & I have gone without the latest gadgets etc. to save for our own house, car & DD's school fees.

AIBU to think that he should grow up? Also AIBU to not want him & his new family to see us & DD because I think he is a bad influence on DD?

I have no sympathy for my DB and don't visit him either. I answered his call when he phoned after a year of no contact but as he just wanted to extort £600 from me because he'd left the cocaine he was dealing in the back of a taxi and he thought he was going to get killed. DH said he'd leave me if I gave him the money so great marital stress too.

Personally I'm happy for me, DH and my DC not to see him until he sorts his life out. Your DB sounds a bit of a dick but not a criminal.

Why would you deprive your DD of family unless you absolutely had to. You only get one family in life.

YABU, snobby and sound quite smug.

He is your brother.. just because his lifestyle doesnt reflect your own, that is no reason to cut him off.

For what it is worth, I will never understand why people live in a life of denying themselves a decent quality of life, in order to scrimp and save for their child to go to a fee paying school. They wont thank you for it, and you just make yourself look a martyr. Oh they might appreciate it, but with that comes the guilt and the pressure of expectation. I would rather give my kid a decent holiday, and a better family life than live on the pennies and pour my earnings into an unnecessary schooling.