to put the children in economy while DH and I fly business class?

[OfCourseIveNameChangedForThis]

Testing name change.

I would not want to sit next to somebody elses unsupervised children.

I was in a hotel gym the other day. Two kids came in and started exploring the equipment. As the only adult there, I felt very self conscious that if the child should hurt himself on the equipment (threadmill, etc) I would be the only one there to deal with it.

I honestly dont understand why you can even consider it. Why not just leave the kids at home with a holiday nanny if you dont really want a family holiday, or having kids cramp your style so much?

I also think it's quite telling that you didn't bother to answer the first part of my post at all.

I don't have a 10 year old yet but is it a reasonable expectation that they would be self sufficient for 8 -16hrs or however long this flight is?

I can totally see that a 13 year old would not bother others and would be more than capable of entertaining themselves on a long haul flight, but I'm not sure that a 10 year old would have the social expertise to realise that they shouldn't be asking other adults to help them with things ( because their own parents couldn't be bothered sitting with them) and not to bicker/argue with their sibling because that would annoy other passengers.

thisisanickname: you're moving the goalposts somewhat away from sitting comfortably now... (but actually, yes, in our car the rear seats also have aircon controls, and stereo controls. not that i chose the car for those reasons, I hasten to add, but it is possible to make some moves towards equalising comfort)

margo: my 5 year old just got 'colourful shoes' for her birthday - she has mourned the loss of 'nice' shoes since she started school last Sept, so I told her she could choose a pair for her birthday if she wanted. she is over the moon (and I cannot wait to post that on the next 'if you buy your child an ipad when they are young, where will it lead?' thread )

I suspect that the op has never seen how her 10 and 13 year olds would behave together over an extended period of time when she is not present.

If they're so well behaved that they can be trusted to fly alone without bothering anyone then why on earth does your DH need to sit away from them to be rested?

FAIL!

Maybe your dh needs to go on a diet if normal economy seats are too tight for him?

Wouldn't you worry OP if there was turbulence?

thisisanickname: eh? was that to me, re: not answering? blimey, didn't realise I had to answer every single point made in order to possibly discuss another tangentially related point.

YANBU - go ahead and do it, enjoy the holiday, enjoy the B-class comfort with DH. Meanwhile, the DCs will enjoy the in-flight entertainment. You'll be just a few rows in front of them and able to pop back briefly right after take-off. The crew will look after their refreshment needs, as they do for all other passengers.

I regularly fly long-haul with three 3 DCs, and we often have one who has to sit next to another passenger. I have never had any complaints, and some people appear to have enjoyed the company of an entertaining 13-year-old. If the plane has a 2-4-2 configuration and you can get them window and aisle seets, they won't even be next to strangers.

If your DH has to arrive fresh, then he has to be in B-class. Some of the people that I work with will only fly B-class on long haul just because to do anything else is much more tiring (they all work really hard).

It also depends on size. An economy class seat is not so small for 10 and 13 year olds, whereas if you (and DH) are tall or larger, you would benefit from the extra space.

Once you arrive, you can spend time all together.

i wouldn't and we have flown BC often so know how tempting that could be. The kids wouldn't let me as they aren't happy that we've down graded to economy these days. My husband did offer me his upgrade to first class and said he would sit back and look after the kids but I couldn't do it.

I remember having to sit in economy on an overnight flight (I could usually fly business but there was not enough space and I got there late) and on getting into Heathrow had to drive to Cheltenham and go to work for the day.

It was all right. I had slept a bit, was a bit dozy, but that's what coffee is for.

Unless the DH works somewhere with a load of big swinging dicks and will have to be all manly and say 'yes, did the red eye last night, was in business so got some sleep, am back in the office now to save the world'

I'm in a minority here but against the chorus of 'oh poor diddums, we all have to work' I actually do sympathise with the DH needing to be rested so he can go back to work. We don't know what he does for a living but if it's the kind of high-pressure job where decisions have to be made quickly and there's no room to fuck up then I don't think it's unreasonable of him to want to make sure he gets enough sleep - expecially if he has to fight tooth and nail to get any time off at all and is desperate to make sure he comes back rested and refreshed.

Plus I've definitely become a less resilient traveller as I've got older. In my early twenties I thought nothing of a 24-hour nonstop trip on a Greyhound bus across the USA, wedged into a tiny seat with various slightly Jerry Springerish characters next to me and an unspeakable toilet at the back. Back then it was an adventure, and I was fine straight after. Nowadays I'd probably feel cramped and exhausted for a day or so afterwards, and there is absolutely no way I would even consider it.

I don't think it's unreasonable to give additional comfort, reclining, rest and leg room to the adults who both have more pressurised lives and also take up more space. Presumably even if the dc don't sleep much on the return flight they will still be on holiday and so can just loll about for a day, while the DH will have 8 zillion Blackberry messages and an early start to contend with.

marvinthemartian: my post was never about sitting comfortably, regardless of whether that was the issue you decided to argue. As I mentioned, it was always about buying yourself a luxury and whether or not your children should be automatically entitled to it.

And no one has answered why the husband's feeling on the matter should be considered less important than the children or the other passengers. I am sorry but that seems unreasonable.

OP, put your children in economy and enjoy your flight in business.

OP has made it quite clear that it isn't about her DH sitting away from the kids, it's about the extra legroom. I can relate to that, even though I would prioritise staying with my kids over the additional comfort.

Premium economy is a very poor second IMO. But if they can't afford to pay for everyone to fly business class, then compromises must be made.

So he can sit alone in business class then, cant he?

Or does he need wifey to cut up his food for him?

we did have a friend who flew with his girlfriend to NZ. He went BC and she went economy - it was so romantic!

I'm sure I read somewhere that Liz Hurley went first class whilst Damien ( her son) and the nanny went economy. Perhaps thats the way the rich operate but to my mind it shows that money can't buy class.

Wades in...
have read most of thread but apologies if this has been suggested before... if the issue is leg room could you fly premium economy and try and get emergency exit seats for you and dh with kids behind? You save the money, you all sit together and dh gets his leg room? Obviously depends on airline and plane - only flown virgin pe and they generally have near an exit.
my dh is quite tall and we try and fly pe when we can but when we can't we have exit seats.

Personally for me it would be we all sit together or we don't go but that's my personal preference and I still have little ones.

YABU. I can't really add to what others have said and don't want to give you a hard time, but I just don't think you can justify leaving your kids on their own in inferior seats for a long flight. I'm surprised you're even asking - it's unusual for parents to treat themselves better than their kids.

I'm just wondering whether the OP will invite DH to read the thread or whether she will be shielding him from any unpleasantness - much like on the plane - and just give him the executive summary.

offer your kids some of the money that would have been spent on posh seats as an incentive not to kick other passengers' seats. If you are concerned about others' comfort then that is far more important than where they sit. Just get your seats, stay in them, don't fart about swapping places, and don't kick the bloody seats [scarred]

it's unusual for parents to treat themselves better than their kids. but it isn't though. As I said, I (single parent) have the big bedroom. My children share the smaller one. I am contemplating buying myself an iPad (don't really need one). Over my dead body will my kids get one (yet). I actually consider this to be the appropriate way to parent.

I think there are too many reasons not to leave your DCs in a different part of the plane whilst not being flagged as UM who need looking after by the staff, and others have covered those.

So your options as far as I can see are:
a) 2 business class tickets and 2 economy, you and one of the DCs sit in business on the way out, your DH and the other DC sits in business on the way back. Both DCs are supervised at all times.

b) return from holiday a day early, your DH can sleep when he gets home

c) day time flights

d) tell your DH to MTFU and stop whinging like a pampered footballer, unless he's freakishly tall or too fat to fit in the cheap seats, he can sleep in economy.

e) get yourself in debt paying for a lifestyle you can't afford just so your DH doesn't need to deal with common people. (Which if he rejects options a-c is the real reason)