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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask my childminder not to take my children to MacDonalds

134 replies

parakeet · 16/02/2012 20:38

They are 4 and 8, and have not yet enjoyed the delights of the golden arches. My reasons are mainly to do with the poor quality and unhealthiness of the food there (salt, fat). I know the occasional visit won't do any harm but I don't want them to get a taste for it, and perhaps pester me for return visits, and it will be hard for me to explain why not. I don't judge those who do go there, I'm just explaining my reasoning for context.

So, my child told me the childminder had said she was planning a trip. Would it be unreasonable of me to say I'd rather this didn't happen?

By the way, I've decided that if my children get taken there by their friends' parents as part of a day out, then fine. I just think if I'm actually paying for their care, I should be able to express some preferences over what happens.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 16/02/2012 20:40

As a one off trip? I think YABU.

If it was every day/week then you'd have a point.

Maybe keep them at home that day rather than try to stop the treat for all the other children.

RuleBritannia · 16/02/2012 20:41

Enjoyed the delights ...? No, YA certainly NBU! Ban the place having any part in your children's nutritional life.

Sirzy · 16/02/2012 20:42

I think as a one off then its fine. I'm not a fan of McDonalds at all but I wouldn't be bothered if DS had one as a one off thing

ragged · 16/02/2012 20:43

Planning a trip sounds "occasional". I feel yabu & precious. Do you really never let them have F+C quality food? McDs is probably better than what's on offer in your local chippy.

Take your DC to a McDs on a day when it's horribly overcrowded (easily done) & the only toys available in the Happy Meals are incredibly dull. Doubt they'll want to bother ever going back worked a treat for me.

MooncupandPizza · 16/02/2012 20:43

I think you have every right to tell your childminder that you don't want the kids going there - as you say, you are paying, they are your children, it's not food you would choose to feed them so yes, you do have a say.

You are aware that one visit isn't goign to harm them but you don't want to be pesterd for return visits - fair enough.

(and my ex-live-out-nanny brought my DCs, aged 3.5 and under 1 to McDonalds several times and lied about it - told me the Happy Meal toys were spontaneously given by the McDonalds staff! Silly bint)

LITTLEGEEK · 16/02/2012 20:43

I'm amazed they haven't been there sooner . For what it's worth I agree with you and think YANBU if you decline the visit. I'm trying to delay DS experience as long as I can get away with it. I'm sure your childminder will take any reasonable request seriously as you are paying her.

ByTheSea · 16/02/2012 20:44

I've never taken my DC to McDonalds but haven't stopped them going with others. They really don't like it and only eat there with others to be polite.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2012 20:45

That doesn't make sense.

You say you know the occasional visit won't do any harm but you're worried about being pestered for a return visit, because you'd feel it hard to explain (even though it isn't hard) why not.

Yet you wouldn't have a problem if a friend's parents took them there?

Really, the best thing we can teach our kids is that all things in moderation are mostly fine.

Cherriesarelovely · 16/02/2012 20:45

If you feel strongly about it then say no. YANBU as far as I am concerned. My DD went for the first time when she was about 5 and goes occasionally now but I don't blame you at all for saying no.

malovitt · 16/02/2012 20:46

YANBU - I cannot see a reason for a childminder to ever take her mindees to a McDonalds. I wouldn't like it at all.

sississy · 16/02/2012 20:46

I can't see how the childminder can justify a trip to Mac Donalds and even link it to the 5 areas of learning she is supposed to be working with the children. She has a duty to provide healthy food to the children too, so I think you are being reasonable. However, she might ask you to keep ypur children at home on this day, so it is your decision if she is the best childminder for your family or not.

smoggii · 16/02/2012 20:47

I don't like the 'planning a trip to McDonalds' business, it's turning it into an outing to be desired and will become e forbidden fruit making it more appealing.

I don't think I would make a fuss.

suebfg · 16/02/2012 20:48

YANBU - my DS thinks McDonalds is a farm as he's never been and I'd like to keep it that way.

WyrdMother · 16/02/2012 20:48

My recolection is that you can make and should have respected "reasonable requests", of course you then have to agree what is reasonable.

Why does she want to take them to MacDonalds? Is it to go there specifically as in that is the main event or is it just the handiest eatery at a reasonable price on a day out doing other things? If it's the first I think it would be reasonable to say they shouldn't go (unless it's an agreed birthday treat for another minded child or similar), if it's the later maybe she would take them somewhere better if you chipped in? Or maybe a packed lunch? Explain to her your lack of enthusiasm for MacD's and see if you can reach an agreement.

SecretMinceRinser · 16/02/2012 20:49

I think YABa bit precious to want to stop the trip BUT I agree that your cm should respect your wishes. Maybe as a compromise you cold provide them with a packed lunch and the other kids could get take out?

Earthymama · 16/02/2012 20:49

I am in the opposite position, I hate MacDonalds and would never, ever go there but parents are always suggesting it if we go to the nearest town and I say I'm going to the cafe.
YANBU in my humble opinion.

hocuspontas · 16/02/2012 20:50

Why would it be hard for you to explain your own views to your children?
And McDonalds food isn't poison (although reading MN I can understand why people may think so) it's just not suitable more than once a day

Goldenbear · 16/02/2012 20:50

Is she friends with a Nanny that takes the children to Greggs?

I can see your point but I personally think it encourages an obsession with food- what is good, what is bad, what is going to make me fat. If it is a rare that they eat this type of food then it is not really a problem. By saying no you're making it an issue for young children. I wouldn't want my children to be burdened with that kind of thinking.

Viewofthehills · 16/02/2012 20:51

YABU. I gave my kids such effective anti-McDonalds propaganda that when we were starving and there was no-where else to eat my DD1 was distraught and thought I was going to poison her unborn baby sister! So I had overdone it a bit.

Now we all agree that while we might eat there in an emergency it is not actually FOOD, is it?

Going once with the childminder is no big deal and will mean they know what their friends are talking about, which matters a lot to kids.

SparkySparrow · 16/02/2012 20:51

my DS thinks McDonalds is a farm as he's never been and I'd like to keep it that way. love this!

GingerWrath · 16/02/2012 20:52

McDonalds in the UK is a damn sight less unhealthy then the ones in the US, once a month is fine but I wouldn't give them a big build up to it.

Everything in moderation, my DD enjoys a happy meal but knows I am not fussed so doesn't badger me for it.

BackforGood · 16/02/2012 20:53

What Worra said.
I too am amazed your 8 yr old has never been.
The fact the child knows it's a trip being planned by the CM, suggests it's a bit of a one off treat, so I'd accept it as being one of the things that your children do differently because they are with a CM, than they would if you were their full time carer. It's not going to hurt, and will make them fit in better if they have at least experienced something that most other children have experienced occasionally.

MyNameIsNotSusan · 16/02/2012 20:53

Your kids, your rules, but my kids are the same age and they have Maccy Dees maybe 3 or 4 times a year, takeaway pizza maybe the same amount of time sper year. They have never pestered me for it. They know its a rare treat.

SecretMinceRinser · 16/02/2012 20:54

Also OP surely if your dc pester you to take them you would just tell them the same as when they ask for sweets etc if you don't want them to have it.

SparkySparrow · 16/02/2012 20:54

OP If you make too big a deal out of it you dc will be desperate to go. Let them go the once, as a treat, and just explain honestly why its not going to be a regular thing.

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