Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask my childminder not to take my children to MacDonalds

134 replies

parakeet · 16/02/2012 20:38

They are 4 and 8, and have not yet enjoyed the delights of the golden arches. My reasons are mainly to do with the poor quality and unhealthiness of the food there (salt, fat). I know the occasional visit won't do any harm but I don't want them to get a taste for it, and perhaps pester me for return visits, and it will be hard for me to explain why not. I don't judge those who do go there, I'm just explaining my reasoning for context.

So, my child told me the childminder had said she was planning a trip. Would it be unreasonable of me to say I'd rather this didn't happen?

By the way, I've decided that if my children get taken there by their friends' parents as part of a day out, then fine. I just think if I'm actually paying for their care, I should be able to express some preferences over what happens.

OP posts:
TheMonster · 16/02/2012 20:54

YABU. It won't hurt now and again.

NotnOtter · 16/02/2012 20:54

no way would i let childminder do that no
maybe precious but no

GrahamTribe · 16/02/2012 20:55

You're paying the childminder so you have every right to say that you don't want your DC to go to McDonalds. I'm not sure about the argument that you don't want them to pester you in future though, you're the parent, you just say no and that's it, over and done with.

headfairy · 16/02/2012 20:57

YANBU, but then I was in a similar situation last week and got a teensy bit of a kicking for saying so (though I did get some support from some luvverly MNers :))

theonewiththenoisychild · 16/02/2012 20:57

Took my dd there when she was 3 she took one bite of a chicken nugget and threw it on the table and said it was disgusting Grin

Cherriesarelovely · 16/02/2012 20:57

I took DD myself to avoid that "everyone else goes to McDonalds" thing. It's pretty much worked. I don't like eating in places like that but as many have said it isn't the end of the world to go as a one off or very occasionally. Up to you entirely though OP.

Xmasbaby11 · 16/02/2012 20:58

YABU - I know it's hard when you have done do well to keep them away so far, but they will go some time with or without you, and this is probably an appropriate time.

I generally agree about McD's, but their menu is much better than it used to be - salad, fruit etc on offer - so it's easier to eat well there than many fast food places. It may be a good lesson in making sensible eating choices.

Longtallsally · 16/02/2012 20:59

Viewofthehills I did the same thing too! I told my kids that the food there is so awful they have to give you toys to make you want to eat it! Of course, they then repeated that very loudly in the shop when we were stuck for somewhere to eat en route to somewhere!

It's an experience for them - they can try it with the CM and you can express relief that they are going with her, so that you don't have to go. Then you can take them somewhere else another day to compare, or even cook burgers together at home to see how much nicer they are when you cook them yourself . . . .

Cherriesarelovely · 16/02/2012 20:59

headfairy You were also B very Reasonable! I thought so anyway! Hope you have resolved it. You handled it with style.

bubbles1112 · 16/02/2012 20:59

YANBU! My kids are 4 and 7 and have never been and I see no need for them to go either!

ENormaSnob · 16/02/2012 21:06

Is it just your kids going?

If not then I wouldn't ask the cm to cancel, just send your kids with a packed lunch.

Yabu IMO

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 16/02/2012 21:06

What happens when it's a CM and not a nanny?

Surely the CM is providing a service and you choose whether to use the service she provides or not - so if it was a regular thing she did that you didn't like, you wouldn't choose that CM (say the CM does school runs and you have a baby and don't want that - you'd choose another CM that doesn't do school runs) but what happens when a CM is doing a one off thing like this that you don't want your kids to do? Surely she doesn't have the right to say she wont provide care that day and surely you don't have the right to say she can't do - so techically the most within your rights thing to do is for them to go but for her to take a packed lunch for your children, but what if it's actually going somewhere you don't want them to go - say a petting zoo? Who does what then??

As for your kids going as a one off - they're 4 & 8 = I can't see why you'd stop them going as a one off - they're plenty old enough to be told that you aren't taking them as you don't think it's healthy food - same as you'd tell them if they wanted chocolate for breakfast every day

bebanjo · 16/02/2012 21:06

DD goes most weekends and has porridge and milk and i take her often, i will have a coffee and DD will have carrot sticks or apple, dont see how this is worse than going to the cafe and having a toasted teacake!,
each to there own, but you dont have to have the high fat stuff just course you walk in the door, and there coffee is nice and not a rip off.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 21:09

I think if she's taking them as part of a day out, as in they are spending the day at a theme park and she wants to feed them easily on the way home, then YABU.

If she wants to take them just because, or on a fairly normal day, YANBU.

By the way, I think she could link it to learning if she tried hard enough. She could say that she is encouraging children to make healthy food choices, which they can never learn to do independently if they are are only ever exposed to healthy food. There is nothing wrong with teaching them that McDs is a tread food and explaining why.

sississy · 16/02/2012 21:09

Ask her WHY she want to take the children there instead of somewhere else and HOW is it going to be educational for them..

Original poster
parakeet · 16/02/2012 21:13

To try to answer a few of the points:

Worra I mean that I accept the occasional visit won't do any harm to their health but it could do harm in terms of triggering pestering. Yes, I know we should all be able to say No to our children when we need to. And I do. Today I feel like I have spent the whole day saying No (one of those days) so all the more reason not to introduce something new for me to say No to.

Re other children being disappointed, that's not an issue, because the only other children will be the childminder's own. She can take him another day.

Various people have made a good point, about them eating other types of unhealthy food. They do, of course, have occasional sweets and biscuits, and once in a while, yes we go to the chippie. But even that is not as bad, I think, as they do have some veg (baked beans) plus it's fatter chips, and I make sure the portion size is appropriate (we eat at home).

Provide a packed lunch? Come on! How galling would that be for my two! I think, I will have a polite chat.

OP posts:
youarekidding · 16/02/2012 21:16

but if your children's friends take them there for a treat they will also develop a taste for it. Confused

A one off will not hurt, and your children will have to accept you won't take them.
There's stuff my DS does in paid childcare I wouldn't let him do at home. It's part of life.

Lambzig · 16/02/2012 21:17

YANBU. I have never eaten in McDonalds in my 40+ years and I dont want DD to. I dont like their ethics, their business practices, their sourcing policies, their Disneyfication of the planet and above all their food is junk.

I am not all mung beans and lentils at all, but there are limits. I do accept that probably she will eat there with her friends at some point and I dont know what I will do if it ever comes to missing a party or group treat (expect I will cave in), but would definitely ask a childminder not to take her there.

usualsuspect · 16/02/2012 21:19

YABU and a little bit precious

headfairy · 16/02/2012 21:19

Cherries, how very kind of you to say so :) I did have a chat with her, she was completely happy to keep the Greggs for no more than a once a month treat. To be honest, it was never going to be a deal breaker for me, hence I put it on AIBU, if I'd been really super troubled by it then I would have put it on the nannies topic. That said, my nanny totally saw where I was coming from and it's all been sorted now

:o

SparkySparrow · 16/02/2012 21:21

Imo a chippy is as bad as McDonalds.
If not worse...depending on the meal.

nagynolonger · 16/02/2012 21:22

If it was a one off visit I think I would just let it go. You being pestered to take them is easy....You just say No.

If it became a regular thing and it was McDs, KFC or Pizza Hut every week I think you could complain.

rhondajean · 16/02/2012 21:22

For what it's worth, I've done such a good avoiding McDonald's job that when I did take my two, they were really disappointed and thought it tasted vile. Yours could be the same!

headfairy · 16/02/2012 21:24

op, I agree with you WRT if you're paying someone to care for your children then you do have a right to have some input in to the way she cares for those children. If you're not happy with the situation, explain it exactly as you have on here, reasonably and with good humour then I think she'll totally understand.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 21:25

McDonalds meals are never going to be healthy, but they are really not that bad either. Especially if they have fruit instead of chips and a smoothie. (I hate the word smoothie btw)

Chips in Mc Donald's are a PITA, sometimes they are smothered in salt, and sometimes they hardly have any on, which is how I prefer them. I think they should introduce a non salted chips option.

Swipe left for the next trending thread