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AIBU?

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Original poster

to let my 11 year old daughter go on a train journey on her own?

77 replies

BeattieBow · 16/02/2012 12:02

throwing this open to the MN jury!

my dd who was 11 in October (so y 6) is in Brighton currently with her father and siblings. she wants to stay a day longer and come back on the train on her own. she would be put on the train at Brighton and picked up at Victoria.She is a sensible girl. She comes home from school on her own once a week and stays in the house until we get home (around an hour). She is also left on her own at the weekends if she is still in bed. I would let her go to the local shop or on the tube a couple of stops but she refuses - I think through laziness rather than being scared.

What would you do?

OP posts:
QuietOhSoQuiet · 16/02/2012 12:04

my dd is 12 and no I would not let her go on a train all the way from Brighton to London on her own and mine is the most sensible studious girl on the planet.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 16/02/2012 12:09

I wouldn't get on a train on my own! (I have not quite a phobia, but would rather spend a week on a bus, or even walk than get a train, so the thought of a child alone on one just scares me, but that is just me.) I do think 11 sounds a bit young though, I can think of so many things that could go wrong Confused

hocuspontas · 16/02/2012 12:09

Plenty of children travel by train to school in yr7 so she is only slightly younger. She won't be wandering around stations on her own, she'll be fine.

hocuspontas · 16/02/2012 12:10

Oh, as long as she has a phone on her I meant to say.

iwantbrie · 16/02/2012 12:11

If you co-ordinate with her Dad before she sets off so he's let you know he has put her on safely & make sure her mobile's (assuming she has one?) turned on, charged etc so you can contact her en route if you need to I don't see why not. I'm nowhere close to London so I don't know how long it takes but she's on a train & presumably she doesn't get off till the end of the line with you there to meet her. I really don't see why not.

ImpatientOne · 16/02/2012 12:11

If I have understood correctly she will not be changing trains and will be met at the station? In that case I think it's fine and will be a good experience for her in gaining some confidence and independence.

CMOTDibbler · 16/02/2012 12:11

She'd be fine - its not like she has to change trains or anything

Blu · 16/02/2012 12:12

If she is being seen onto the train, met from the train and doesn't have to change, she will be fine and I would let my almost 11 yo do it.

gamerwidow · 16/02/2012 12:13

I think 11 is a bit young for such a big journey. It would be diifferent if she was going to a small station with only one way in and out but Victoria is a big station and she might get very confused about how to leave the platform and get to her pick up point.

missmiss · 16/02/2012 12:13

I'd let her. When I was her age (1996, so not hundreds of years ago!) I got a coach from Northampton to Exeter on my own. I stayed on the coach when it stopped for a break at Birmingham.

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 16/02/2012 12:14

Sounds fine, once she's ok with it.

CharminglyOdd · 16/02/2012 12:14

If she gets put on the train and picked straight up off it then no problem. If she has a smartphone (some do!) then maybe download one of the train apps for her so she can check the platform, knows when the train is arriving and can follow its progress whilst she's on board. If she's caught the train on this route before then I really don't see an issue.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 16/02/2012 12:15

As long as she doesn't have to change trains I am sure she will be fine - have someone put her on the train in Brighton and have someone meet her at Victoria (if they can get on the platform all the better).

I would have let my dd do it, of course not all kids are the same and some children would hate the thought, but if she is up for it, I don't see any issue.

The chance of something going wrong is rather minimal. She would view it (probably) as a great adventure.

YusMilady · 16/02/2012 12:16

YANBU. She'll be fine. If you're worried, get her dad to help her find the guard when she gets on the train just to let him/her know there's an 'unaccompanied minor' on board.

valiumredhead · 16/02/2012 12:16

No I wouldn't and I am very lax when it comes to parenting and ds who is nearly 11 has a lot of freedom - walks to school, plays out for hours on end, goes to the shop etc.

I would let him go on a coach though, where there is a steward ( is that what they are called? Confused ) YKWIM anyway!

By 13 I probably wouldn't think twice about it but the difference between 11 and 13 is vast imo.

DarrowbyEightFive · 16/02/2012 12:16

I don't see any problem with that. Don't be put off by the fact that some people are rather over-protective and don't like giving their DC any independence. You sound a bit more sensible.

AgentProvocateur · 16/02/2012 12:17

Yes, of course it's fine. Plenty of children younger than that get the train to school every day.

YusMilady · 16/02/2012 12:18

Love the way that so many rely on phones/smartphones when there are actually real people on a train whose job it is to look after the passengers!

squeakytoy · 16/02/2012 12:19

She would be fine.. Victoria is the end of the line, so its not as if she would miss her stop, and it is very easy to meet someone at the gates of the platform there.. there is a cheese shop just as you come out of the gates, so it makes an ideal meeting point.

MixedBerries · 16/02/2012 12:21

If she's put on the train at one end and met at the other and she feels confident enough to do it then I see no problem. Having a mobile with her might be reassuring. If you're very worried, you could TRY to ask DP/DH to have a word with the guard and they might be able to keep an eye on her. (If there is a visible guard).

gettingalifenow · 16/02/2012 12:25

Going to school on the train is not the same - they are in a group then doing a familiar journey ( which all of mine have done since they were 11).

But if you think she's up to it, then you should go with it - ask her dad to make sure she sits in the carriage with the guard ( which is what my youngest always does on a non school journey), and if her dad actually checks out the other people in the carriage when she gets on ( eg a family and business men and not louts) then that would help ease your mind too

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 16/02/2012 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lizziebennet · 16/02/2012 12:31

I got the train on my own from Aberdeen to Edinburgh when I was 9. Same scenario of being put on the train and met, but a much longer journey. It was fine and I felt so grown up.

She'll love it.

Blu · 16/02/2012 12:32

gamer - the OP can check the arrivals board and meet her right by the platform gate as she comes through. There are only 2 ways to walk along a platform and I don't think the OP would be asking this question if she had a dd likely to choose the wrong way!
Also - she's a London child - all the London children I know know how to negotiate train and tube stations.

suburbandream · 16/02/2012 12:33

Brighton to London is quite an easy journey - she'd be starting at the beginning of the line and ending her journey at the end of the line so no need to worry about getting off at the wrong stop, and if she gets there in plenty of time there should be lots of seats etc. I think it all depends if she's happy to do it and you and her dad are too. There are usually lots of uni students and families on the Brighton to London train so if poss I'd get her to sit next to a family or some friendly looking students who she could ask for help/reassurance if she needs it.

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