to be pissed off with being offered a council FLAT instead of a HOUSE?

[OMFFG]

We have 4 DCs, youngest 16 months and they think this is suitable!! The flat is 3 bedrooms and on the 2nd floor of a small tower block and has balconies which I would be pretty worried one of the DCs may fall out of.

This is my worst frigging nightmare. We have been 'homeless' for almost 2 years and the council have housed us in temporary accommodation (private rented) which we have to pay market value for (£875 per month) even though we did not choose it and it's a complete shit hole. We could not leave as we would lose our priority on the council bidding list. We lost our house when DH was made redundant and could not afford to pay £1200+ to privately rent.

Now after all this they have offered us a fucking flat. I am furious because every week until last week, there were only offering 3 bed houses but we would always be 3/4 on the list. Now that a flat was offered, less people have bid on it so we got to the top of the list. I did not even bid on it, the council did. Apparently they can bid on 'our behalf' as we are homeless and if we refuse this flat, we will be taken off the housing list. How the hell will we cope in a flat???

The rent is 'only' £380 a month but a house would only be £20 a month more.

AIBU to tell them to stuff it up their arses?

I think there's a difference between venting and being, if not deliberatedly inflammatory, then certainly something close to it. The OP could've said life was shit atm - losing job, losing house etc and there would have been much sympathy I'm sure.

But to come and basically stamp her foot and say that she deserves a house and should have one...I think some perspective was called for. Although I do agree that the breeding comments were uncalled for.

The reality is none of us have perfect lives. I'm lucky in that I have money, and a nice house. But I have no living family (aside from my DCs), single, unlikely to ever get married. We all get fucked off about our situations, especially when theres not much you can do to change it.

Yes, I agree bup no need for the nasty vitriol.

op just needs to weed out the constructive help I guess? :)

The OP's attitude is awful though. So aggessive and entitled.

I have to agree about pps who mentioned the number of children. Those didn't even read the posts properly because the OP did say she was pregnant before losing her home.

And people do get pregnant by accident even taking all precautions. Anyway...

And agree on name calling.

However, the tone of the OP did elicit a certain type of response. Moreover, it was not like she had even seen the flat. She was angry because it was a flat and not a house. As I mentioned before, for all anyone knows the houses could have been worse, and those who got them may well have been more entitled.

what's wrong with 3 bedrooms for a 4-kids-family...that's what we have + a 5th in a room off living room...... also what's wrong with 2nd floor.......tons of folk have that even in posh houses with attic conversions and that, did op previously live in a sprawling huge bungalow or what?????????

No she lived in a house , have you read the thread at all?

I am one of four children. We lived in a three bedroom flat most of the time i was growing up. One flat was on the fourth floor, one on the fifth floor, and one on the first floor. They all had balconies. The flat was part of my parents job perks. And it was a perk.
The op sounds like an ungrateful person. three bedrooms is perfectly adequate for four children. The balcony issue is neither here nor there. personally I think gardens are a lot more dangerous.

Gardens are dangerous ?

I need to leave this thread

YABU until you have viewed the flat at least. We had a 3 bed flat with a "Juliette" balcony (wft are they all about??) and it was MASSIVE. So, go and have a look first I would suggest.

Ha? You want a scoreboard?

I don't know why it was trotted out, do I? makes no sense to me.

I don't care what income bracket people are in, you're all cunts to me. Those of you who are cunts that is. You're looking for a conspiracy here, maybe people just don't like OP's attitude? I bet she was a whingebag when she had money and a naice 4 bed, same as she is now.
Cunts is cunts, no matter where you live and how much money you have.

just to add

for 6yrs my friend had 6dc in a 3bed,worked like this

son 1 & 2 shared one room

daughter 1 had room of her own

sons 3 & 4 & 5 shared a room

mum slept on sofa

private rented ,never and still got to top of council list

NOW changed last year

two eldest boys renting a flat together

three boys still sharing but bigger room

daughter still has own room but now with a baby in with her

mother has own room now (no more sette)

even though council says they are overcrowded still not top of the list/bidding

now thats overcrowding

I am shocked at the hatred filled bile on this thread directed at a woman who clearly needs some support at a difficult time. I read the article linked to above in the Guardian about how we have come to hate the poor rather than poverty and I have to admit that I thought of this site immediately. This place used to be somewhere that women could come to for support, now it has become a modern version of the Roman coliseum. Rather than having Nero fiddling while Christians are thrown to lions we have women choosing their farrow and ball paint whilst suggesting that those on NMW abort their unborn children.

In the past the OP may have been gently told to pull herself together but there would also have been offers of help and support. I do not know where the OP lives but if she is near me, as a fellow woman and mother I would be happy to help you clear the place up.

Yes the OP has said some daft things, don't we all when we panic? I would panic if my dh lost his job and we lost our home and within a few years I ended up in a council flat that was in a bad way. It is clear that the OP feels as if she has lost control and is grieving for the life she thought she was going to have. Stress is often linked to a feeling of loss of control and therefore it is not surprising that the OP is reacting in the manner that she is. It must also be difficult to accept that she has been offered a flat when the trend previously has been for houses to come up.

I do hope that the OP is not put off coming here to for support again.

Again, nobody hates the poor. People are annoyed at "I'm suddenly poor, gimme a house!" which is not at all the same thing.

So easy for you to assume we all hate "the poor" (how condescending of you) when its clear that many on the thread are those poor people you are talking about. How does that work then?

I grew up in a flat - with balconies.

We now live in a flat - with balconies.

We have come to no harm.

YABU.

I suggest that people labelling those living in poberty as people who beggars who should be grateful for any crumbs we wish to throw at them as being quite hateful.

Telling people who are in poverty that they should not have children , even if the children were conceived before they had financial problems is also quite hateful.

It is possible to disgagree with the OP without resorting to personal attacks. This thread is full of unecessary personal attacks for a women clearly going through a difficult time.

OMFFG - When I was placed in this 'temporary' (for 7 years and counting!) house, I had NO choice of areas. I was basically told if I didn't accept this place, then I would be off the list. It was a shithole of a house, but in an area with good schools. I hadn't seen it when I accepted it - they didn't even arrange a viewing.

I get that the flat sounds like a total crap-hole. BUT when you are homeless, thems the breaks. People who are NOT in temporary accommodation get 3 bids. Because the council isn't in a major hurry to get their PERMANANT home back - they are usually only getting it back due to overcrowding. However, the council WILL be in a hurry to get their TEMPORARY accommodation back. Because there will be 101 families behind you that need the TEMPORARY house. What this means is that if they can't get rid of a shitty property on their choice-based letting system, they WILL make someone in their TEMPORARY housing take it - they need the property filled.

That's the shitty end of the stick you take hold of when you are homeless, unfortunately. I had to move away from my entire support network and start completely over when I was put in here - and for the entire 7 years I have been here, I have KNOWN that I will have to move again, as this is only TEMPORARY accommodation. After being here for that long, I have put down roots, I have one dc who will be doing GCSE's at the local school from September etc etc. I am currently 15th on the list. So I will be MADE to take whatever property is available on the week that I reach the top of the list. Which will probably be a shitty flat somewhere I don't want to be that will require my SN DD to travel on two buses a day to get to school, as none of the other schools in the town have a space AT ALL in her year. It's NOT ideal. But how can you expect it to be? Social Housing isn't there to be ideal - it is there as a safety net so people aren't homeless on the streets, nowadays.

You need to take the shitty stuff that life throws at you like being offered this flat instead of a nice house, and make it smell of roses by cleaning it well, and decorating it nicely, and getting the council to clean up the shared areas like the stairwells etc, and getting the local Community Police Officers on board with making sure that any further damage to the shared areas is taken seriously. Take the lemons and make lemonade. Don't let the shitty stuff in life turn you into a bitter person!

(And I fele qualified to tell you this, as I know what a shitter it is to go from owning a lovely house to being at the mercy of a Housing Officer who dumps you in the shittiest property on their books...)

OP - right now, I am in a 'temporary' house. 13yo DD has a TODDLER BED in the 'box' room, as you can't fit a full size bed in her room. 9yo DS1 and 8yo DS2 share the largest bedroom - 10ft x 11ft. With the bunk bed and a wardrobe in there - that's the room full. I did have the middle sized room (9ft x 10ft) - but I have had to stop co-sleeping with 1yo DS3, due to my seizures starting up again (uncontrolled epilepsy that gets worse with my fluctuating hormone levels), and HE now is sleeping in my bed while I am sleeping on the sofa.

I am STILL 15th on the waiting list, and know that I will HAVE to take whatever I am given when I get to the top of the list - probably in another 15 months time. That's the way it is. It's OK to rage about it - but nothing is going to CHANGE that situation with Social Housing.

Get over yourself

HuntyCat you are an inspiration and your children are blessed to have such a fab Mum

get over yourself OP I meant

The OP has had a shit couple of years but tbh I think she should view this flat as the first step to getting back on their feet. The cheaper rent will allow money to be saved which will help in the future.

Give the boys the biggest room as someone else suggested, some of these flats have big rooms. If you really can't bear to have 3 in one bedroom then you and DH sleep in the living room. DH and I have done that when we were in a 1 bed flat. It was temporary and was an improvement on us all in one room with shared facilities that's why we were so happy when we got our 2 bed flat.

It's hard slog, I know I am going through it trying to get back on our feet after a lot of shit things happened to us just as many others on this thread are. So please stop saying its all well off Boden wearing people on this thread.

Read this thread with interest having been there OP.

As usual I have read the usual suspects spouting the same bile they always do - you know who you are some of you - others are so up their arses they genuinely don't realise how smug and "considerably richer than you" they sound.

OP - I can understand the venting - A couple of years ago I was housed in the crappiest sink estate going on the second floor of flats. This was after two years virtually homeless after my marriage broke down and I couldn't believe that this was all they would offer me. However. it was much much better than I thought it would be and my neighbours were nice, I was fortunate enough to be in a block which had a number of long term tenants so there was a community spirit there.

The balcony will be fine, just make sure it's not accessed by the children unattended, you can also raise the height with fencing etc.

Thing is, as others have said, if you refuse this property the chances are you won't be offered anything else. You could rent privately if you can afford the prices but this council property is a secure tenancy and you could use the money you'd save making it look nice for you all.

I was rehoused after two years as my son is autistic and needed safe access to outside space but I honestly had no problems with the balcony even with his issues.

It is hard but it's luck of the draw, life sounds as though it's been hard and hopefully this is the start of things improving for you all (although it might not seem like it). Take it, make it your own and if necessary use the excess money to save enough for a move elsewhere in a few years.

What's the difference between a 3 bed flat & a 3 bed house, op? You said you want a 3 bed house, that has the same amount of [bed]rooms as a 3 bed flat, so you are likely to be 3 to one room in either place.

So, either the youngest shares with the girl or with you. Or you have the lounge as your bedroom by night (as my friend did when she lived in a 2 bed flat with her 3 kids) and 2 share, and 2 have their own room. Oh & she managed to keep the children safe from the balcony, so it isn't impossible.

It really isn't the end of the world, you know. You need to see the positives & just do it.

I think it's hard for some of us when people are like aflat and three to a room!

Because that's how welive.

I think the whole Breeding comments were out of order but when you look at the initial post you can understand how many of us in flats can even be a bit offended.

Then later it transpires the area ain't great ( some council flats are fab believe it or not) and op gets advice and sympathy. quite rightly.

So most of the posters don't 'hate the poor' But we do hate the immediate assumption that a flat is a comedown compared to a house, trampolines etc, etc