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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with being offered a council FLAT instead of a HOUSE?

999 replies

OMFFG · 16/02/2012 10:46

We have 4 DCs, youngest 16 months and they think this is suitable!! The flat is 3 bedrooms and on the 2nd floor of a small tower block and has balconies which I would be pretty worried one of the DCs may fall out of.

This is my worst frigging nightmare. We have been 'homeless' for almost 2 years and the council have housed us in temporary accommodation (private rented) which we have to pay market value for (£875 per month) even though we did not choose it and it's a complete shit hole. We could not leave as we would lose our priority on the council bidding list. We lost our house when DH was made redundant and could not afford to pay £1200+ to privately rent.

Now after all this they have offered us a fucking flat. I am furious because every week until last week, there were only offering 3 bed houses but we would always be 3/4 on the list. Now that a flat was offered, less people have bid on it so we got to the top of the list. I did not even bid on it, the council did. Apparently they can bid on 'our behalf' as we are homeless and if we refuse this flat, we will be taken off the housing list. How the hell will we cope in a flat???

The rent is 'only' £380 a month but a house would only be £20 a month more.

AIBU to tell them to stuff it up their arses?

OP posts:
olgaga · 16/02/2012 22:54

OP, please get a grip until you have at least seen the interior. Many council flats, if they are not new build, have pretty reasonable room sizes. You will have at least one large bedroom for the 3 boys to share.

You know already that £380pm rent is frankly dirt cheap for a 3 bed. Think of the money you'll save, and the security of tenure you'll enjoy.

I feel sad for you that your life has taken a crappy turn but you are where you are. You've had a temporary setback, and it won't be like this forever.

TheParan0idAndr0id · 16/02/2012 22:56

It doesn't mean that at all, and you know it. It means you're in no position to be choosy. And OP better wise up, because she isn't.

Its not competitve poverty when its the truth. If you want to defend OP's right to wallow in pity and whine about how lifes not fair, you go ahead. Just don't imagine yourself some kind of champion of the poor.

NormanTebbit · 16/02/2012 22:57

I don't live in poverty

But flats and sharing are normal I think that's what people are trying to get across.

youarekidding · 16/02/2012 22:57

AND, I've just realised despite the fact I live in a 2 bed HA flat I can go back on the list. A few bands down but because I don't have a private garden and I'm top floor I'm considered to be in more need. (I'm first floor and have a huge communal garden and park opposite Hmm)

EauDeLaPoisson · 16/02/2012 22:59

Exactly Norman/paranoid

You never heard Charlie bucket moaning about sharing a house with twenty odd family members either did you??

Feminine · 16/02/2012 22:59

bupcakes of course posters will compare and explain what they have dealt with. I am going through a very difficult and similar situation.

It gives perspective

I agree that op should feel fed up, I said as much ,but...come on!

BupcakesandCunting · 16/02/2012 23:00

"It means you're in no position to be choosy" - because you're poor. Hence the word "beggars". You wouldn't apply the same phrase to a millionaire who can't buy the private island he would like, would you?

I think we're all allowed to moan about life not being "fair", if the fancy takes us. She's been dealt a shit hand over the last couple of years. Just because she isn't begging on the streets or living in a skip, doesn't mean that she can't be disappointed or want to vent about her situation. Sometimes the saints and martyrs of MN forget that.

EauDeLaPoisson · 16/02/2012 23:03

It's more than venting though saying you are going to turn down a perfectly viable option

BupcakesandCunting · 16/02/2012 23:05

Well, Feminine, if we all went around MN saying "well my problems are bigger than yours, actually" (and let's face it, with the amount of threads on the first-world issues such as the fucking nanny didn't feed little Henriques handmade linguine, it'd be rich pickings) rather than offering support or even a friendly "come on, you're being a daft mare. Why don't you try this...?" it'd be like WWIII on here. The amount of vitriol on here has been quite breathtaking, actually. I think the abuse the Op has had on here is awful and I've said as much. So yes, if that makes me "a champion of the poor" then I'm happy with that. Better than being a vile cow.

TheParan0idAndr0id · 16/02/2012 23:05

Poor is relative.
And no-one said she can't be disappointed, or upset or whatever. Anyone can moan about life. But if you come on here and make out that living in a council flat is a one way ticket to hell, don't be suprised when people who are or have been in similar situations say Excuse fucking Me, lady, wind your neck in and shut up about your trampoline!

Saints and martyrs, whatever, we're all just getting by, doing our best, many of us struggling...and wah wah wah give me a fucking house I deserve one poor me is going to get you a metaphorical boot up your arse.

BupcakesandCunting · 16/02/2012 23:05

It's venting.

I've said that I am definitely going to kick DH for leaving pubes in the bath. Cold light of day and all that.

EauDeLaPoisson · 16/02/2012 23:08

Well if you say so then it must be

LilacWaltz · 16/02/2012 23:08

I think op seemed resigned to be taking the flat. That's impression I got from last post anyway

BupcakesandCunting · 16/02/2012 23:09

Thanks.

usualsuspect · 16/02/2012 23:12

Some of the stuff on this thread had been vile , now go and compare it to the Fil lending money thread and tell me that the op on that thread got as much shite thrown at her

Oh wait ....

Feminine · 16/02/2012 23:12

bup I understand what you are saying.

In this case though, a few home truths are very helpful.

In the nicest way...it does give perspective.

Despite the myths this site is not dominated by rich Boden cardigan-y woman. Reality lives here. I am actually comforted by it, as I am going through a very tough spot (similar) right now.

I think many of the posts have been fair actually.

I do feel sorry for op, life is very tough sometimes :)

Lueji · 16/02/2012 23:13

You came here asking for opinions, you got them.

This is not a rant away topic, but AIBU. And the general consensus is that you are being unreasonable. At least in your attitude and for most of the reasons given.

Some people do the best with what they can get. Others just get angry and rant and feel sorry for themselves.

I hope you manage to calm yourself down enough to start working on what can be done and on the positives, rather than being miserable.

Many people do get worse hands than you. You have your family and your husband, who is probably wonderful. Take strength from each other.

EauDeLaPoisson · 16/02/2012 23:13

If its flinging shite at people to point out you can't always have exactly what you want in life than my poor kids.....

TheParan0idAndr0id · 16/02/2012 23:16

Different thread, totally different scenario, not really comparable.

You've got to love OP attacking us all as rich boden types (which we clearly aren't) and then admitting to being one before it all went wrong.

Whatever, wallow in it if you like OP. Or get on with it. Up to you.

BupcakesandCunting · 16/02/2012 23:18

You can point out that you can't always have what you want in life without telling the OP to retrospectively not "breed" Hmm, that she is a cunt or a prick or any of the other revolting crap that's been spouted. If you can't even manage to do that, then that says more about you than her, IMO.

For the record, I've said she should take the flat so I'm actually in agreement with most of you. I just didn't need to make the OP feel about this big in telling her to take it. Honestly, the amount of froth that some of you have generated today, you could supply Ibiza's foam parties for the next decade.

maras2 · 16/02/2012 23:19

Sorry if it's already been asked,but if you don't work,why are you paying for childcare?

usualsuspect · 16/02/2012 23:19

The threads were compared at the beginning of this thread

TheresASpareChairOverThere · 16/02/2012 23:20

I haven't read the whole thread OP but have seen the gist of many posts.

I don't think YAB Unreasonable but you probably have to deal with it. I think there is a national housing shortage which is the result of 30 years of underinvestment in this nation's housing stock and this causes huge problems.

I am sorry if you have had a run of bad luck, you can turn it around and luck can change. I hope things get better.

saladsandwich · 16/02/2012 23:20

could you not put the youngest boy in with the girl? i know people who have more children cope perfectly fine in 3 bed flats/houses with the eldest sharing with the youngest.

councils unfortunately don't have the housing (or staff that give a shit) i've ended up in private rent and tbh at £380 a month down from what you are paying now should save you enough money to either make the new place look nice or save up for somewhere else.

BupcakesandCunting · 16/02/2012 23:22

"Different thread, totally different scenario, not really comparable."

Ha! Then why was it being trotted out as a defence earlier on by certain posters?

I am scanning that thread now... no... no telling the OP not to breed... no cunts... I suppose if you are in a certain income bracket, makes you fair game to get called all the names under the sun.