to think a lot of people just don't get the cost of housing?

[stressedofnorthlondon]

DH and I are looking for a house and it's got me thinking. I live in a cheap part of the city, but that's cheap relative to other parts of London and the south east. We've looked a quite a few places now, but with each one I see I just can't quite believe how much a fairly small family house is going to cost us. But, we have completely grown out of our current home so we need to move.

We need to stay in London for lots of reasons. Our jobs are here. I could probably get work elsewhere (or maybe not in the current climate?) but DH couldn't. His profession is London-based. So if we moved away he'd have to commute back in anyway. Our support network is here. Our familes are not but they live in equally expensive areas that are not to far away, close enough to help. All our friends and all that we know, that keeps us sane, are here.

So often on here you see people say "downsize" "move somewhere cheaper" etc etc. The whole HB furore going on at the moment is due to the expectation that people should be moving to cheaper accomodation / cheaper areas. But there is nowhere within commuting distance of London that is cheap! I think it's because people who live in other parts of the country just don't understand that here there isn't really such a thing as "affordable" housing. There isn't anywhere to downsize to, as even small properties, to rent and to buy, are really really expensive. Yes lots of people get paid much higher salaries to work in the capital, but we also have lots of people on minimum wage, lots of people in the service industries, people who clean etc. To rent a family house here is well over £1000 pcm.

So AIBU to think that a lot of people who live elsewhere in the country just don;t understand that housing here is expensive, whatever size of property, or what area you live in.

(and I know that DH and I could stay in our small flat, but we are lucky that we can afford to move, I just can't believe how much it'll cost us!)

It is a reflection of my finances that i have had to start using Rimmel , especially as i am not a London girl

NorthernWreck that's still not bad compared to some areas. Sounds like your problem is the disparity between HB and local rent rather than prices themselves. So I don't suppose it will be much comfort to you that prices aren't as silly as the south east.

we have completely grown out of our current home so we need to move

It can't be too much of a shock though! Being as well-informed as you are, I'm sure you must have realised before your family "grew".

This is all going to get a bit Four Yorkshiremen, isn't it?

Rimmel? You were lucky.

marriedinwhite I think you live the kind of life that those of us in our 20's can only dream about! I imagine you live on Gwendolen avenue and your children go to Putney high and Kings. The kind of lifestyle that I can only hope to have by winning the lottery! My parents bought a small 3 bed terraced house in Clapham 25 years ago and it is worth over 500k now, well over 10 times what they paid for it. Wages haven't increased that much so it is hard to understand why house prices have? My friends and I will probably never be able to have the lifestyles that our parents enjoyed.

I live in SW London and rent a tiny two bed flat for over 1k a month. I fell pregnant unplanned when I was at uni. I'm sure lots of people think I should have had an abortion but I didn't. I can't see how we will ever be able to save up a deposit to buy a house or earn enough to pay the mortgage! It is depressing. My partner has a training contract with his job so we can't move out of London and to be honest I think I'd loose my marbles if I moved away from all my friends and family and was stuck at home looking after a baby. I can't afford to work as after nursery fees and travel I'd be making a loss.

Close OP - close - but dd has to get the school bus from the Green Man .

But we got there through sheer hard work and I waited to meet the right man, one about whom I had no doubts and had our first baby at 35. I certainly don't think you should have had an abortion and would be proud of you if you were my daughter. You may well find though that you have relative freedom to start a new career in you mid thirties. It's all cyclical and we hit the cycles right. That doesn't alter the fact that in my 20's I was in bed by 9.45 (no social life), up at 6, in work at 7.30 dealing Eurobonds and usually not home until after 8 or 9. Never putting a foot wrong, never being seen to have had a glass of wine too many, etc., etc.. As our dc spread their wings to fly, I'm tired and feeling long past my best and ready for a rest; and yes, I do work full time even.

The other thing is, and this is where I think we are all on a continuum, when I bought in Putney in 1981, it was only because I couldn't afford Fulham and didn't like Clapham (no tube). Those who were 10 years older than me, had bought in Fulham because they couldn't afford Chelsea and South Ken. London has grown and grown in the last 30 years and I fully accept that if I was starting all over again, I would be buying in Worcester Park, or Sutton as a few more steps along that continuum.

I bought a foundation, a concealer and a lippy on Tuesday. The three items cost £29.50. Equivalent items form Lancome would have cost £72.50. Lancome is no longer three or four times the price and more affordable than I had thought .

Point taken. And I hope I haven't caused offence.

I bought the new Rimmel foundation as it was £5.99 in boots and I feel it is my duty to try every single drugstore (spend a lot of time on American blogs) foundation lol

tethersend!
Aye, well, when I were a lass it were Constance Caroll and like it!

Flangelina-I know it is cheaper here compare to London. My London friends can't get over how "cheap" my rent is, BUT wages are really really low too. And jobs are very scarce. My local paper's job section had one job in it today!

tbf marriedinwhite I or my close friends will never ever have any time as a SAHM and that is people in both 20s and 30s. Both parents work full time nd 25/30 hours or full time and full time. We will be doing that until our 70s with no breaks as house prices are high.

Its not because people arent working hrd if you live in places with high house prices and things like some areas 50% + unemployment you have to just do what you can. Things in a ot of places are way, way more expensive than they would be for the older generations.

YANBU to think plenty of people don't get it- my MIL is in cloud cukoo land,as is my dad. They just don't have a clue but for different reasons. One's got a very paid job, much higher than mine or My DP and the other simply doesn't know the value of things. (Honestly, who tells a skint person who's car has just packed up to get a BMW, not too old as they are sooooo reliable? )

We moved to the NorthWest because living 20 minutes outside London (where I grew up) was just too expensive. We're much happier up mostly because we don't stress about money nearly so much and our DC aren't and wont be picking up on that stress like they probably would if we still lived where we were. I do understand not everyone can do that though.

Jumping in really late here but am also laughing at No 7 being a cheap alternative, No7 is a luxury in this house!

Rimmel always tends to be on 3 for 2 in tesco too....if anyone is interested :o It's okay really. I did used to use No.7

If you spend a fiver in boots they often give you one of those no7 vouchers so you can get a no7 nail varnish for 2 quid, and I got the eye make up remover for 2.25

I think a lot of the people who are going to have to move out are a lot of the people who are not employed in jobs that a. pay enough to make it worthwhile to commute back in but b. are employed in jobs that are (amazing!!!) surprisingly necessary to make life OK for everyone.

All sorts of jobs: from cleaners to coffee bar staff, sandwich-makers to shop assistants.

I do wonder what the effect of all this is going to be.

Perhaps it's a stunningly brilliant and utterly cunning move to economically revivify the non-South-East.

For all of you who say that we should all find employment outside the South-East and London because there are few jobs so specialised they cannot be practised outside London/the South-East - here's the thing:

There are fewer jobs outside London and the South-East. There just are. That is why the cost of living and housing is cheaper outside these areas. People migrate to London, not because they are fools but because, when you look at where jobs are - that's where they are.

True, you will find most types of job represented outside of London but there will be a handful of those positions available, and usually someone in them. And if you are in the position yourself, when it comes to promotion, moving sideways and up, etc, you will find that the same situation applies. You will probably have to move, geographically, to advance your career.

I'm all for the spread of employment across the UK. It's worrying that the trend of concentration of employment in the South East shows no signs of abating. And it doesn't. Projections indicate it will increase. And that suggests that if you are starting your career, or have an interest in advancing your career, you will be well-advised to move towards London.

It;s a downer.

Also, all the people suggesting that the Midlands is a fair commute to London. It's not. Because you may then have to spend another hour/hour and a half on top of your original commute crossing London to arrive at your work destination.

People do it. People have to do it. It doesn't make it a good thing, or something people should be doing a little, happy jig about. The impact on your quality of life and family life is crap.

When I travel North to visit my family, I am struck by the contrast between the architecture of towns and cities that hearkens back to their days of industrial and economic prosperity and the preponderance of empty shops at street-level. It's bloody depressing.

The flow of capital and employment south is depressing, and I do think we should be demanding more intervention - rather than accepting it as some kind of natural law or act of God.

think most people do know its expensive to live in london - this is not a new phenomenon its always been extortionate hence london weightings etc. The solution to finding London housing costs massively expensive is of course to move elsewhere and many people do. however in your case your DH job means he cannot work anywhere else and seemingly can't transfer his skills to another industry enabling you to move out of London. So its not the case that people don't understand how expensive it is - surely thats why they are suggesting move elsewhere? - its just the case that you personally can't follow that advice

Nosey: what job does he do that he has to stay in London?

sorry just wanted to add - I don't think 'lots of people' are recommending you move out of london because they don't understand how expensive london is - its because they DO understand that they are suggesting this

My B/F family live in a part of the world where you can buy a house for £60,000. They probably paid less for their houses than I paid for my last car, and seem to have quite a nice life with disposable income for lots of extras.

They dont seem to have a clue you have to pay £200,00 for the same down south and all that it entails

lottie if my OP sounds like I'm trying to put myself alongside those who claim HB and may be forced to move, then I'm sorry, as I absolutely know that my situation is much better and I am far more fortunate. My situation, although annoying, that a small house will cost £££, is managable for us. But that doesn't mean I'm happy about it, but neither does it mean I want people to feel sorry for me either (as I've said a few times). This is in AIBU and if the majority say that I am, then I take that on the chin.

Olagaga yup I knew my family would grow out of our current home, we've held on for as long as we could but now is the time for a bit more space! The alternative was waiting until either London house prices drop, or we can move out, to get a bigger place and I'm a little bit too old for that I'm afraid!

Mollie my house is full of Wilkos storage boxes already...

Oh and giveme I'm not going to say what DH does so as not to out myself more than I have already . But he is doing extra training so that eventually he can set up on his own and can work from home. That will be the point that we move out of this city to a slightly less expensive part of the south east (need to stay in the wider area as I have sole responsibilty for my parents).

NorthernWreck that's what I mean, its swings and roundabouts really isn't it?

Givemeaclue London's always been dear, yes, but its not always been as bad as now. There used to be a lot more council housing available, for example. And we're getting more metrocentric. Its not so long ago that eg the north west was an economic centre and power in its own right, which mostly isn't the case now. Lots of careers have centralised hugely in the past couple of decades- journalism, for example. About 1/3 of journalists used to be employed outside London in the early 20th century, now its no more than 1/10. So people have fewer economic options outside London and the south east.

Regarding commuting, I agree entirely with Animula. I accept that a lot of people have no choice but to do it, and judge nobody for it. But its hardly something that's to be encouraged. The environmental impact of substantial slices of the population travelling significant distances daily is not to be sniffed at, to say nothing of overcrowded roads and public transport. If you've got to to it you've got to do it, and I spent a couple of months commuting 3 hours a day myself. But we certainly don't want it becoming perfectly normal and reasonable to expect people to commute from the Midlands to London, ffs.

London is an expensive place to live shock horror!

In other news: Bear defecates in woods sensation!

We all know this. We provincial types do visit/have access to the media.

Moaning bloody cockneys. Thought you lot were supposed to be all chirpy and enjoy sing-alongs around badly tuned pianos.

Eat your pie and mash and shut the fuck up.

I'm laughing at the competitive poorness over makeup brands. I can't afford make up at all. I buy Tesco's mascara about once a year and that's it. I prefer us to eat and stay warm and I spend any spare cash on books for the children. Just saying - as you were.

You were lucky.