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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a lot of people just don't get the cost of housing?

192 replies

stressedofnorthlondon · 15/02/2012 22:35

DH and I are looking for a house and it's got me thinking. I live in a cheap part of the city, but that's cheap relative to other parts of London and the south east. We've looked a quite a few places now, but with each one I see I just can't quite believe how much a fairly small family house is going to cost us. But, we have completely grown out of our current home so we need to move.

We need to stay in London for lots of reasons. Our jobs are here. I could probably get work elsewhere (or maybe not in the current climate?) but DH couldn't. His profession is London-based. So if we moved away he'd have to commute back in anyway. Our support network is here. Our familes are not but they live in equally expensive areas that are not to far away, close enough to help. All our friends and all that we know, that keeps us sane, are here.

So often on here you see people say "downsize" "move somewhere cheaper" etc etc. The whole HB furore going on at the moment is due to the expectation that people should be moving to cheaper accomodation / cheaper areas. But there is nowhere within commuting distance of London that is cheap! I think it's because people who live in other parts of the country just don't understand that here there isn't really such a thing as "affordable" housing. There isn't anywhere to downsize to, as even small properties, to rent and to buy, are really really expensive. Yes lots of people get paid much higher salaries to work in the capital, but we also have lots of people on minimum wage, lots of people in the service industries, people who clean etc. To rent a family house here is well over £1000 pcm.

So AIBU to think that a lot of people who live elsewhere in the country just don;t understand that housing here is expensive, whatever size of property, or what area you live in.

(and I know that DH and I could stay in our small flat, but we are lucky that we can afford to move, I just can't believe how much it'll cost us!)

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/02/2012 22:56

YABU... People 'get' that London is expensive & that's why they don't live there. It's the whining we get pissed off with. Londoners seem to think there is no world outside the M25 and it's such a bizarre attitude. Unless you happen to be something very specific like Chief Polisher of the Crown Jewels most jobs exist elsewhere. And a lot of us move away from family and friends for various reasons and, through the miracle of 'motorways' and 'telephones', we still manage to live nice lives and maintain contact.

KittyFane · 15/02/2012 22:56

:o @ "I buy clothes from M&S" !

Neither is sign of someone one the breadline married !!

KittyFane · 15/02/2012 22:58

cogito :YABU... People 'get' that London is expensive & that's why they don't live there.
Agree!

TitchVida · 15/02/2012 22:58

Ah but it's scary for us London people. We might see cows and all sorts :)

DialsMavis · 15/02/2012 22:58

Some jobs have to be in London though, DPs does. Well, we could actually move to Manchester but our elderly parents and DS's Father all live on the South coast so not really practical in any way.

AnyFucker · 15/02/2012 22:59

YABU for even giving David Cameron headspace !

If your OP was "AIBU to think that over-educated, wealthy-by-inheritance, inbred toffs know nothing about real life" then I would think you had a point

sincitylover · 15/02/2012 23:00

YANBU

I was having exactly the same argument with my parents the other day - they just don't get it and think that I should just move somwhere cheaper that isn't stretching the budget.

Yeah and pull ds1 out of school at end of year 10 and pay several hundreds of pounds per month in season ticket.

Seasin ticket where they live is about 5k. They said well just get a job locally. Not so easy when my current job is in London.

We have to move in July and I am worried sick about findin a new rental property and the cost. I am at m limit now.

I said to my mum what do you expect me to do? She didn't have an answer.

And they also look down on renting. I did have equity when I split with exh but not enough to buy a new property.

It's all a big mess!

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2012 23:03

Ah but it's scary for us London people. We might see cows and all sorts

That Bastard Bertie Bassett..... Grin

Original poster
stressedofnorthlondon · 15/02/2012 23:06

I just want to clarify that I said a lot, not all people.

Of course we could move to a cheaper town to buy a nice big house. But then DH would struggle to get any sort of decent job (certainly not one in his specialist field), and we'd be a long way from family and friends. I don't think the extra space would be worth it, tbh! LIke I said, we can afford it at the moment.

And I want to know who all these people are who are going to pay the extortionate commuting costs to travel into the city to clean, make coffee, be hospital porters for crap wages, once they are forced to "move somewhere cheaper"?

I put this in AIBU so am prepared to be told IABU. But telling people who have put down roots to "move somewhere cheaper" is really not very helpful and doesn't sound very understanding to me!

OP posts:
Trills · 15/02/2012 23:07

Parents especially often don't get that a house next door to them will not be affordable by one 22-year-old's salary as it was in their day...

ScarfOfSexualPreference · 15/02/2012 23:08

I'd love to live near my family, in Cornwall. I live in Greater London because I'm a nanny, and the only people who can pay for a nanny seem to be the people who earn enough because they live/work in London! I've yet to see a full-time, live-out nanny position advertised in Cornwall- after 6 years of looking. So I pay well over a £1000 a month for my tiny one bed flat from my wages for a job I love and can afford to eat, occasionally go out and buy clothes, rather than live week by week working in a nursery or shop in Cornwall. Is a hard decision. And I don't think everyone knows how expensive it is in London- I know I will never afford to buy a flat, even a studio, in this area on my wage. So I pay out well over 3/4 of my wages each month knowing I could be saving! I have friends who live in other areas and can't believe what I pay- good friend lives in Norfolk and pays something like £600 a month for a 3 bed detatched. I would if I could!

Xmasbaby11 · 15/02/2012 23:11

YANBU - people know London is expensive, but many don't realise the extent of the gap between north and south. It is staggering to me and I used to live there and have friends there now. Most of my friends down south earn much more than us but live in tiny flats and can't afford a family home. For DH and I, social worker and teacher respectively, we'd be paupers in London, and up north have a 4bed house in a reasonable area. It is really unfair for people who don't have a choice.

Xmasbaby11 · 15/02/2012 23:13

It's the south that's expensive, not just London - especially anywhere within a commute of London.

Woodlands · 15/02/2012 23:16

I work from home mainly so could be anywhere - and DH works all round the country, only in London one day a week. HOWEVER he needs to be able to travel anywhere in the country - this year so far he has been sent to Morpeth, Torquay, Colchester and Taunton, among others. So we really need to be within very easy reach of the major London mainline stations even though neither of us actually spends much time in central London. Ironic, much?

marriedinwhite · 15/02/2012 23:19

OK, OK, point taken but No 7 and M&S are a heck of a lot cheaper than Lancome and LK Bennett which are things I could buy (and admittedly do buy the latter for very special occasions) but generally chose not to because actually I'm qutie careful. I know that's another argument altogether but it's all relative and I know lots of people with homes worth a tenth of ours who do spend that on themselves and who don't drive Citroens!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/02/2012 23:20

Bottom line is that if someone can't afford to live and work in a particular area, they have to start thinking about alternatives or all they're doing is sticking their head in the sand.

JerichoStarQuilt · 15/02/2012 23:23

I often find Londoners very odd about housing costs, though - both in terms of not knowing how much it costs elsewhere (not necessarily peanuts either) and in terms of not wanting to admit there are cheap areas of London.

My favourite remains this conversation with a friend of DH's, which I reproduce as best I can:

Her: 'Gosh, this is a bit compact isn't it ... in London I can tell you this would cost at least [insert slightly less than our rent is] pcm!!'

Me: 'Really?'

Her: 'So if I lived out here, I'd prefer a much bigger flat or a house'.

Me: 'Ah yes. So would we.'

Hmm
mercibucket · 15/02/2012 23:24

won't it be cool once there's a high speed rail link through some of those small hills down south and all us northerners can invade the capital on the daily commute and still be back oop north, with our flat caps, whippets and bags of chips, before you can see 'ey by gum'

marriedinwhite · 15/02/2012 23:25

cogito you just made me snort wine. DH's Grandad pretty much was the equivalent of polisher of the crown jewels, and jolly nice acco they had for it too Grin

DialsMavis · 15/02/2012 23:27

We are only trying London to see if we can make it work. If it doesn't we will move back to sunny Bournemouth and have babysitters on tap. DP can go back to backbreaking manual labour,we will claim tax credits and have the same disposable income as we have now

garlicfrother · 15/02/2012 23:29

YANBU. Pisses me off that our government is included in the "people" who don't get it.

garlicfrother · 15/02/2012 23:30

I wouldn't bank on a season ticket being less than the difference in housing costs, separated!

garlicfrother · 15/02/2012 23:31

argh, that was to mercibucket

Original poster
stressedofnorthlondon · 15/02/2012 23:31

Merci just wait for prices of houses and rents to shoot up once "oop North" is commutable to London!

(I'd be quite happy for London to be invaded by Whippets and somewhere I could get decent fish and chips though!)

We sold my dads house in the North West for £19,000 12 years ago (yup I'm from oop north originally). Is worth about £120,000 now. So I know something about house prices elsewhere. But the South East is just totally ridiculous really.

OP posts:
sincitylover · 15/02/2012 23:32

and what are the alternatives cogito - do you suggest that I look for a job up north - and move there with my two boys - we will know no-one and have no support network (and I don't mean family they live elsewhere).

And as someone else said where should all the carers, baristas. nurses,firefighters and police live. I think alot of the latter two live miles out as it stands.

Should they move ever further away.

Why is the onus placed on the individual rather than the government addressing the structural problem and not leaving something as important as housing solely up the market. As if the market is god!